Joy and Pain

86 Teenage Angst

2008-11-14T16:06:00.003-05:00

I am so glad I'm old. I can totally see my parents happily packing my belongings and sending me off to "get the flu shot."

"Mom...so, how come we're on the highway and crossing state lines?"

"It's a "special flu shot" Joy. Really. You'll see."

"Why is all my stuff in the back seat, Mom?"

"To make the trip more fun, silly. Now be quiet."

So...Was the entire state of Nebraska looking for fry cooks at their local Burger Kings? WTF?

"Please don't bring your teenager to Nebraska," Gov. Dave Heineman told CNN. "Think of what you are saying. You are saying you no longer support them. You no longer love them."

(No shit!)

"Five of the abandoned children were brought to Nebraska from out of state. Parents have traveled into Nebraska from Michigan, Indiana, Iowa, Florida and Georgia. Tysheema Brown drove from Georgia to leave her teenage son at an Omaha hospital.

"Do not judge me as a parent. I love my son and my son knows that," Brown said."

Very nice quote Ms. Brown. Classy.

I guess kids really do have to zip their lips and not talk back. Have fun growing up everyone. I can see the threat to the hospital coming in handy myself, actually...don't judge me.

I'm old!!!!

2008-11-07T14:01:00.005-05:00

Ooooooooh, guess what's up? I'm old, bitches! One more year I am thanking God for keeping me on this planet. (Thanks, God!)

I'd also like to take the time to thank my Mom for deciding to keep me and put up with me. (Thanks Mom!)

And Katie, Thank you for making me drink GM, and Patron, and some pumpkinesque shot that I know had Goldschlager in it...damn you! The Alagash was tasty. As was the Guinness.

In other news: I made it through the night. Even though I was proud (and ashamed) for staying away from Bourbon, the other odds and ends behind the bar are making me a tired lady today. The countdown to my extended birthday week begins.

Nov 10 - Hello, Kings of Leon. I have been crossing the days off my calendar for you boys.

Nov 11 - People in Planes (Yay!) and the Toadies....at the 9:30

Nov 12 - Smashing Pumpkins. At DAR (Lame!)

Nov 13 - Calexico. At 9:30.

Nov 18 - Eagles of Death Metal. 9:30...I need a concert buddy for this one. Why is everyone out of town but me? C'mon, people...

Oh! Yours truly rode the bus. And made to metroman's blog. Sweeeet! My story is entitled: Ahole on the S4. I have a talent. For spotting aholes and drinking at bars.

Score!

2008-10-30T08:55:00.004-05:00

After failing to purchase tickets via the devil's right hand, known to the general public as Ticketmaster, my concert bff and I thought we were sol this year and would miss out on Kings of Leon. After stalking Craig's list and eBay for a good month I found someone selling sweet seats at DC's worst music venue. For the list ticket price. What?!?! It was worth the hour drive out to the boonies to pick up the ticket. This is said a good week before the show. If we get to DAR and find out the tickets are fake, I'm going back out to the boonies and causing a ruckus. And with that said, I'm officially planning the Beattie birthday bash and extending it a few days so this show is a part of it.

I haven't given props where they're due, and here's a Cliff's notes version.

Mother Mother - Despite having possibly the most ridiculous hangover I have had in YEARS (I hate you bourbon...but I really do love you) it was a fantastic show. I love DC9 and to see a pretty unique band there was awesome and worth my getting out of bed and taking a shower. The opening bands were interesting too. KI Theory (out of Richmond) was quite interesting to watch. Those boys were way into their music...

Side note - what's up with kids (more like 20 and on up) wearing big ass backpacks coming to shows and then half way in, dancing like they're at a rave? They're missing everything but the glow sticks...do they realize it's not a rave, not the type of music, etc. Don't spill my beer while you flail your arms or there will be hell to pay! I've seen it twice now...at Mother Mother and at Pinback. You have a 30 year old drunk raver flailing right next to a mob of frat boys jumping. Niiiiice.

Cold War Kids - Not sure if I talked about this. I've seen them 3 times now and am damn happy after each show.

The Rosebuds - I saw them at the Cat last week and while I was happy to see them headlining, I was a little ticked they only played for an hour. And told all of us that they were done after the next two songs and would not do an encore. Huh? Really? Well, thanks for the heads up...

* Upcoming - Deer Hunter at the Black Cat, 11/4 (otherwise known as pre-Beattie birthday)

* Possibly the Mountain Goats at the 9:30, 11/6 (on said birthday...plans may change. I may be in a gutter after drinking bourbon all day...)

* The Sea & Cake - Black Cat, 11/8

* Stellastar - R&R, 11/9

* Kings of Leon (woohoo!) - DAR, (boo!) 11/10

* People and Planes (woohoo!) and the Toadies...at 9:30, 11/11

* Sounds of Kaleidoscope - Velvet Lounge, 11/12

* Calexico - 9:30, 11/13

It's going to be a busy November...!

Badass!

2008-10-08T09:48:00.002-05:00

One of the best shows I've ever seen!

I am getting spoiled with the Fleet Foxes on Fri night and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on Monday. Dang!

I was converted into a Nick Cave fan by my old roommate (Thanks, O!) and have to say, he's one of the best performers I've ever seen. And as far as people watching goes...quite a fine show for that.

By a random stroke of fate, our gang met up with the lead singer (Peter Mavrogeorgis) of the band the Bellmer Dolls and his girlfriend. He was a super cool guy and it's too bad we didn't get to see them on Sun night when they opened for Nick Cave. In any event, it was a damn fine show.

Coming up, The Wedding Present and the Jealous Girlfriends at the Black Cat on Sat. And the Heartless Bastards on Monday. Unless someone calls me with a spare ticket to Hot Chip, I'm missing out tonight. Considering I need to recharge my batteries, this could be a good thing.

Harmony Like You Wouldn't Believe!

2008-10-06T12:52:00.005-05:00

Beyond cool. Utterly amazing. So damn good. I couldn't believe how perfect the Fleet Foxes show was at the Black Cat this Friday. I knew it'd be good, but I didn't think it would be that good. It was almost effortless. Fleet Foxes did not disappoint.

The crowd was pretty decent considering it was a sold out show. Everyone behaves when it's mellow music, I guess. It was a bit too pretty, a different kind of rocking out, if you will. For anyone that hasn't heard of Fleet Foxes, refer back to the harmony found in the Beach Boys, add the folk of Dylan and Simon and Garfunkle and cross that with the folk rock of Crosby, Stills and Nash. Those are just some of the gang's influence, as it's what their parents were into back in the day. What's up with Seattle being a kick ass town for bands, anyway?

In other news, Oktoberfest ended up being fun on Sat. The weather was beautiful, the Arlingtonians came out in full force and we overpaid for 6 oz samples of pretty decent beer. Thanks to the college boys for meeting up for a few pints during and after...I'm happy to say I endured the drunkfest up until last call. Guess I just need my college friends to ensure I make it to the finish line.

And up for tonight, Nick Cave!!! After a late night drunk and excited "Oh my God, Nick Cave isn't human!" text from O, I am very excited to go to tonight's show. Other Beattie sightings could be The Wedding Present and The Jealous Girlfriends at the Cat on Sat, and the Heartless Bastards at the Cat a week from today.

Pinback and the Frat Boys

2008-10-02T11:06:00.002-05:00

Yay, Pinback! I've been wanting to see these boys for a very long time and finally got my chance. They put on a great show at the Black Cat last night; their sunshiny Cali-indie rock made the night a bit less dank. Aside from the 7 foot tall frat boys that pushed their way in front of me, the show was pretty good. Three of said frat boys moved as one being, doing the frat/white boy nod dance as one solid unit. Probably because they shared the same brain. I did get to see a bit of the projected film clips and band members when the popped collar lads went to go get another budweiser. So, thanks for that, guys.

Armistead Burwell Smith IV (what a name) aka Zack Smith and Rob Crow set up their guitars and teased us for a good 30 minutes before they actually played, but it was worth it. I heard my favorite Pinback song, Non-Photo Blue and Good to Sea, which were sped up a lot as opposed to the flowy album versions. Rob Crow's giggles and talks while tuning in between songs and at the encore were fun, as were his intermitent chugging of New Castle. Gotta love it when the band is having fun.

Next up:

Fleet Foxes! (10/3, Black Cat)

Nick Cave! (10/6, 9:30)

Hot Chip (10/8, 9:30)

The Wedding Present and The Jealous Girlfriends (10/11, Cat)

The Heartless Bastards (10/13, Cat)

In other Beattie sightings, I'm excited about seeing 1984 at the Atlas Theatre tonight. And all hail Oktoberfest on Sat, with the boys from college. Good times!

Rowdy Iranian Boys = A Surprisingly Good Time

2008-09-23T12:19:00.004-05:00

The Red & the Black dragged me out of my hobbit hole after a long week/end of work. I'm glad I made the trip since I had a chance to see Hypernova this Sun night. I stumbled across the band and the many positive reviews just sort of screamed, "GO!" and I caved. I walked into the bar to see 4 skinny Iranian looking hipsters sitting at the front table. Who looked not too surprisingly, like the pic above. Only clearer because I was sober as a judge.

There was a surprise opener consisting of a handful of high school boys (the name of the band is escaping me...sorry guys.) Their parents were ROCKING. I'm telling you, it must have been a fun ride home in the minivan that night.

Hypernova is very good. They reminded me a bit of Interpol smushed with the Editors with a tiny bit of Madrugada anger thrown in for good measure. Nothing like a passionately riled up Iranian band to get you going. They wore the skinny jeans and tossed their hair (most of them did). It sort of made me want to see them lined up with Monotonix. But that could throw me over the edge...

Alright, upcoming shows if I can get my tail out of work:

My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult - DC9 - 9/28 (c'mon...it's worth it just for the people watching...)

* Pinback - Black Cat - 10/01

* Fleet Foxes - Black Cat - 10/03

* Nick Cave - 9:30 - 10/06

* Hot Chip - 9:30 - 10/08

Of Montreal - 9:30 - 10/9

It's going to be a fun October!

Can't Get Enough...

2008-09-15T11:48:00.001-05:00

People in Planes!

I saw the boys at DC9 a few weeks back and was pretty darn excited to see they were opening for Stereophonics at the 9:30 on 9/11. They didn't have their new album at the last show so I trapsed down to the club to see them on "the big stage." Man, what a difference a stage makes. Granted, they were awesome at DC9, but it was obvious that the venue and good sound equipment made them happy. AND I got the album, which promptly gave me error codes when I put it in my cd player...hmmmmm. What gives, gentlemen? Or could it be the cheapest cd player in humanity's fault...

The headlining band was Stereophonics. Not to put them last, but well, I saw them open for David Bowie (!) a few years back and maybe it's the fact that no one can compare with Bowie, or that they just plain sucked live. They were much better this time around and I heard a couple of my favorite songs (on the old albums...). And it doesn't hurt that they're pretty hot. In any case, it was a great lineup and fun to see PIP again.

East (Euopean Folk Punk...) Meets West

2008-09-10T11:05:00.000-05:00

I have seen a lot of shows and have not posted anything since Summerbirds. My bad. I'm going to give the cliff notes version, which is probably better anyway! The Walkmen came back to their stomping grounds on 9/06 and played an early show at the 9:30. They were pretty damn good, I have to say. And the highlight of the whole show were the 3 70+ year old rockers who had a blast in the front, center during the whole show. Man! I was there early and saw an old dude leaning on an amp on the stage and did a double take. This was followed by the god awful smell of Chantilly Lace...and giddy laughter from two white haired ladies who were all smiles. "This is great! Now all we have to do is get in the center," One of them yelled while pulling her friend and motioning at the old man. They all pushed their way to center stage and man...I didn't stop grinning the entire night. They danced through the whole show and sure as shit stayed in the front. I love it!

Aside from slugging down Stella all night and most of the band members having backup drinks (a sign of greatness), the piano player/guitar player Paul Maroon brought his son onstage at the end of the show and let him watch/play some stick knocker instrument. He was a teeny lad, maybe 3ish with the rocker long hair and a kickass hat and big ol' headphones to protect his ears. Awe.

The show opened with this random (cool) band called Golem. They were all in red and entertained me fully. Who doesn't like wailing Yiddish followed everyonce inawhile with an english curse I understand? That and the accordian make for a fun combo...they call themselves a "Eastern European Folk-Punk Band."

Summerbirds come back to DC

2008-09-04T08:12:00.005-05:00

It's hard to get people to drag themselves out the first day after a holiday weekend. H Street was a deserted strip on Tues night, but I was one of the lucky ones who made it out and had a chance to see Summerbirds at Red & Black Bar. The venue is small, so the odds of getting up close to see a great show is always in your favor. Throw in the show being on Tues after Labor Day and you've got it made.

The guys in the band, Brad, Curtis, and Tyson, are some of the nicest guys you'll meet. The Summerbirds started out in Orlando, and have made a huge following in Florida and Georgia and seem to be on the road quite a bit. Both Brad and Curtis are also in Now it's Overhead. It's hard to pick one element of the band I like the best. Heavy on the synth, and a great mix of vocals and guitar make can't be a bad combination. Their first album has been in heavy rotation in my ipod and their second album, Druids, should prove to be a great addition.

Druids should be out around the beginning of 2009 and it sounds like DC will be another stop early next year.

Next shows, come and join me!

The Walkmen - 9/6, 6:30pm at the 9:30 Club

The Veils - 9/6, 10PM at Rock and Roll Hotel

People in Planes and Stereophonics - 9/11 at the 9:30 Club

Layover at DC9

2008-08-26T13:26:00.005-05:00

Finally! I've been excited about this show for ages. People in Planes played an intimate show at DC9 this past Sunday and I finally got a chance to see how great this band is. Their first album, As Far as the Eye can See, has been on heavy rotation in my ipod since 2006 and their follow up, Beyond the Horizon, is around the corner. (Meaning the boys will be back in the fall for more shows!)

The band wrapped up early enough for them to have a few beers while packing up their gear and heading to New York. They were all gracious enough to sign my album and we even chatted up Ian Russell (awesome keyboardist) over Sambuca and Schlitz. Hopefully their move from Wales to NY will encourage frequent visits to DC!

Upcoming shows:

Timberwolf Division at the Velvet Lounge - Fri, 8/29

Summerbirds in the Cellar at The Red & Black - Tues, 9/02

The Veils at Rock & Roll Hotel - Sat, 9/06

Stereophonics at the 9:30 Club - Thurs, 9/11

Towelhead!

2008-08-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

Alan Ball. Aaron Eckhart. Toni Collette. That was enough to make me eager for the movie. I wasn't disappointed! Thanks to E Street Cinema, DC was lucky enough to see Towelhead a month early AND get to meet Alan Ball. I've been a huge fan since American Beauty and Six Feet Under and was giddy when I got the chance to see the film screening.

Then I got uncomfortable. As usual, Alan Ball gave us flawed characters and taboo relationships to agonize over for a good two hours. You wanted to punch pretty much every adult character, hug a few of them, and adopt Jasira. Like always, the dark humor evened out what could be a sad and disturbing series of events. Cheers, Alan Ball!

And Then There Were Two

2008-08-04T09:38:00.003-05:00

Man, was this a great show. There was a vibrant band, there was a great opener, there was a full bar, there were 16 year olds. It had all the elements of a great show. I've been a big fan of We are Scientists and finally had the chance to see them live. I'm so glad I finally got to do it! I was a bit worried since some fans were a bit miffed that the 3 man show is now a duo (Sorry to drummer, Michael Tapper who has since left the band.) Keith Murray and Chris Cain are thoroughly entertaining and I have to say, I enjoy the new album. Their "vaguely danceable" music had me at hello. I had the good fortune of meeting Keith Murray and bullying him into signing my cd for me. Thank you! If you're looking for a distraction from work, go and check out their videos. Aside from the great performance, I met another cool band, Apache Beat. This is an interesting collaboration. There's moody vocals (think Siouxsie and the Banshees or Concrete Blonde) and there's mad percussion. It works.

Coming up:

Mon, 8/04 - Cobra Collective and Exit Clov at Fort Reno

Mon, 8/11 - Grizzly Bears at the Historic Sixth and I Synagogue

Threesome at the Rock and Roll Hotel

2008-08-01T10:18:00.004-05:00

Melancholy. Ambient. Experimental. Melodious. Sound familiar? Those of you who enjoy a little Radiohead, Sigur Ros, and Portishead may get a kick out of Bellflur. This local band does a good job of sticking to mellow, often melancholy, experimental, post-rock. I have been listening to the DC band at work in the past few weeks and had the good fortune of checking them out live. The boys played at the Rock and Roll Hotel the other night and have to say I was not disappointed.

Go Home Robot was the headlining band. Aside from being 4 funny guys, they are full of energy, and very entertaining. Their sound was a bit more polished and a mix of psychedelic rock, electronica and pop. Worth checking out!

And finally, Solar Powered Sun Destroyer...I really dug this band. They were the second to go on, making my night a great one. I have to say that I'm normally not all that thrilled with opening bands. Tonight was definitely an exception. This group is working on their first album, and I'd buy it. They remind me of a fight between Incubus and Radiohead for whatever reason. They're playing at the Velvet Lounge on 8/15 and would be worth the trip out.

Upcoming shows for anyone who wants to join in:

We are Scientists at the Black Cat on Sat, 8/02

Cobra Collective at Fort Reno on Monday, 8/04

Dark, Dank, Rock Explosion.

2008-07-28T10:12:00.003-05:00

It was crazier than I anticipated. I narrowly escaped spit out beer and mayhem. It was a tad bit insane. And I loved it! Monotonix delivered last night at the Black Cat. Amid the dingy back room and lots of smelly, sweaty boys the rowdy Israeli band was a riot.

While Ami Shalev did not light himself or anyone else on fire, he did snatch up a few beers, spit at people, jump on shoulders, yell at us, throw a mic in my face (at which point all I could do was stare dumbly in amazement) and surf the crowd. All without landing on his tail end, for which I was very amazed. I don't know what he's on, but man, it's working. On top of that, their drummer ended up kneeling on one of his drums and was lifted over the heads of the crowd, while he continued playing on drums that people were holding over their heads. Insane. Monotonix will be back in the fall and if you missed out in the excitement, I think a trip out to see the trio will be well worth it.

Beattie Returns.

2008-07-20T20:52:00.003-05:00

I finally did it. I got the balls required for a 3 hour stint of pain and can now live up to my "joy and pain" labeling. I am so darn happy with it and figured it may in fact be blog worthy. Although most of the people that see it immediately ask if it's real...

They are sure to believe I am not creative enough to take a sharpie to my leg. If they see my many fine examples of failed artwork it would be all too clear. (*Cough* Microsoft paint) It doesn't come off with soap and water (Sorry, Mom and Dad) and it won't peel off either. It's almost healed and then I will be even happier! Cheers to my sister for putting up with me while I winced in the chair. I owe you support for 3 hours of pain. Let me know when you want me to pay you back. ;)

That's all for now. More in another couple of months.

The Earth Does Not Revolve Around the Sun

2008-04-23T13:15:00.003-05:00

It revolves around Lou Reed. And he is very happy about it.

After buying a $53 ticket to Lou Reed, and crying a little bit at the price tag, I ended up being very excited to catch his performance at the 930 yesterday. Little did I know the man was just a tad bit of a douchebag. The music was definitely worth seeing, don't get me wrong. While his talent is not coming into question, his disrupting my chances of drinking really took him down a notch. The man requested that no alcohol of any kind be served on the main levels of the bar so as to not "disrupt" the show. What?!? You mean, you want me to watch you sober? And by watch I mean the very top of your head and mostly the mic stand and every once in a while, the drummer. (I was way in the back and every 10 minutes I got a gulp of fresh air and a view of Lou Reed in his pompous glory.)

So instead of us witnessing a sober and blissful performance, most of us were just plain angry. And man, did the masses bumrush the bottom and top bars in their quest for warm draft beer. So much for not having an interrupted performance Lou. I would say it backfired. The show went on promptly at 9pm and was over at 10:30. After the encore. What gives, Lou? Did you really just want to get the hell out of dodge? I know DC is probably not your favorite town, but we all paid over $50 to see you and are not drinking. You are a big tease. And we are angry and unfulfilled.

It's been a few moons since I have worked in a bar, but how happy do you think the bartenders made out last night? All the bars that were out of commission were manned by at least 2 appologetic bartenders who threw away garbage all night and kept telling us NO. Nice work, Lou! (Now what would at least make me snicker in a "You ARE an asshole!" kind of way would be if he said not one drop of alcohol was allowed in the entire venue and then we saw him drinking onstage for the entire performance. Go for the glory or go home, Lou.)

Oh and by the way, I'm back! I was considering making it a full year before my first post, but I really missed microsoft paint. And ranting online. Hello, again!

Stranger than Fiction = Not a Waste of Time

2007-08-08T08:39:00.000-05:00

I am glad I didn't return this DVD unwatched to Netflix (to ensure I got Weeds season 2 instead). This was a great movie and I was not expecting it, despite the reviews. Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) was a surprising hero and I was very delighted. From character development to witty scripts, I really enjoyed this movie. Not to mention the soundtrack was great. Go rent it.

Here's the soundtrack info:
The Book I Write - Spoon
Going Missing - Maximo Park
Whole Wide World - Wreckless Eric
Flours - Britt Daniel/Brian Reitzell
The Way We Get By - Spoon
Mind Your Own Business - Delta 5
Bottles & Bones (Shade & Sympathy) - Califone
Writers Block - Britt Daniel/Brian Reitzell
My Mathmatical Mind - Spoon
La Petile Fille de Mer - Vengelis
That's Entertainment (Demo Version) - The Jam
Dubbing in the Back Seat - The Upsetters
Auditor - Britt Daniel/Brian Reitzell
In Church (Cyan & Ben Remix) - M83

The soundtrack alone is enough to make me happy. I'm definitely shelling out the funds to go see Spoon when they hit up the 9:30 sometime this October!

Learning is for Bitches

2007-08-07T14:44:00.000-05:00

I caught a glimpse of my last "recent" post and realized that I have repeated all of my "I'll never drink again!" offenses since I last surfaced here. Including the 2 day debauchery known as Virgin Fest. You'd be surprised how many people gave me gaping grins when I said "Virgin Fest" out loud. Apparently they didn't know we weren't going to be sacrificing 15 year old girls, but that I was attending a 2 day music festival. I disappointed many with my explanation of the over priced event in hell city (Baltimore.)

I was informed by my mapmaker friend that Baltimore is known as Charm City. It is all making sense to me. I had no clue that such a welcoming destination city could be so full of class and charm. I was *this* close to relocating based on the wonderful neighborhoods right out side of Pimlico. So close.

From my car nearing death (brakes decided to go AND my windshield wiper decided to flip half off its arm on the way home in the rain) to the hours and hours of drinking in Charm City, the weekend was an event to be sure. I was only drunk for a combined 30 hours, and I only lost one pair of sunglasses (in the perfect pile of strangers' poo in the most foul porta-john ever).

My bosses were kind enough to meet up on Sunday, and they treated us to lots of booze. That was a good and bad thing. While I hear lots of people saying,

"Joy...you don't have to drink to have fun," and

"Joy, what you are describing is fondly referred to as a blackout..."

I have to say, these people giving me this handy advice don't have enablers as friends, coworkers, and bosses. I love all my enablers for this very reason. My liver doesn't.

I have promised myself to review all the shows I see from now on. With pictures that will suspiciously look like the back of lots of people's heads. I usually end up with a nifty view of the backs of tons of tshirts and necks as I stand 2 feet below the jackasses that stand in front of me. I neglected to do this for a bunch and will probably do something sneaky like post (and backdate) my entry. I am crafty.

Without making this a very long post, what I liked about Virgin Fest:
- The ability to sneak in virtually everything under the sun.
- Vodka concealed in water bottles.
- Wu Tang, Bad Brains, Beastie Boys, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Spoon, Smashing Pumpkins, Velvet Revolver, Regina Spektor, The Police....in no particular order. But if I had to narrow things down, I'm really happy to have been there for the Beasties and Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
- Very good people watching. Everyone from yuppies, to rich kids, to groups of rich kids' parents, to band members adding to the mix.

Cons:
- Drunkenly drinking warm vodka instead of warm water. Not all it's cracked up to be.
- Baltmore. In general.
- Asshole vendors. Like the guy who wanted to sell me a $4 cup of ice. Jackass.
- The sun. I know it's needed, but not when it's 100 degrees.

I'm happy I went, but I miss my sunglasses and my dignity.

Idiot Savant Seeks a Long Spell of Sleep

2007-06-25T10:24:00.000-05:00

To everyone I know that hears the, "I'm perfect!" rant from me every five seconds...I am going to crush your world and say that I feel like death warmed over. Far from perfect.

I have been partying practically every day since Wednesday and my body hates me.

Seeing my UPS driver when out on the town last night made me realize it may be time to pack it in and be an adult for once. We'll see how that goes, but as of right this second, the thought of sleeping without the influence of alcohol for more than 3 hours sounds like a damn good idea.

Spa Day for Jake

2007-05-15T22:17:00.000-05:00

Hairy Jake has been transformed! This is my before and after segment. (This is before)Although based on posting placement I may have mixed things up a bit. My handsome boy is growing up!

A Tip in Getting Hot Bitches

2007-05-15T22:12:00.001-05:00

Show some style! Jake just got the biggest hair cut in his life. He also was upset to have a female go near his privates and paws. Which is one reason why we tend to think he may play for the other team. But look how cheeky he is!!!

I heart Keith Richards

2007-04-04T08:50:00.000-05:00

Not only is Keith Richards cool for being Keith Richards...he snorted his dad...Wow.

"He was cremated, and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

So, you know what that means, kids: if you want to be cool...make sure you go that extra step to show your parents how much you love them.

The Beattie-Mobile is Recovering!

2007-04-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! The Beattie-Mobile is almost done and back on the road. Thank you, PJ.

Fridays are for Winners

2007-03-31T14:35:00.000-05:00

I was driving with the windows down, excited to be on my way home to start the weekend. Plans include drinking with the college buddies and watching a kick ass burlesque group, Trixie Little, when...Ka-chunk. KA-CHUNK! Then I loose control of steering. It's a good think I just crossed over Memorial Bridge and stopped shy of the Rock Creek Parkway, or I would most likely have ended up in the ditch or oncoming traffic. I pulled over and proceeded to freak out. Then I hear hissing and see smoke and antifreeze. Not good. No one stops. For a good hour.

After it cools down, I eventually get back in and drive it to a gas station by the Watergate and wait for my tow truck. I proceed to see another Explorer on a tow truck pulling away and imagine the wrong one got towed. That'd be great to go outside to not have a car, only to discover they towed the wrong one. That would mean someone else had a craptacular Friday night on their hands and I was not alone.

I was rescued by Kaseem, who adamently told me the, "Non accident = $65 minimum, $100 maximum" painted on the side of his tow truck didn't apply to me. Ok. $160 later and I wave goodbye to my truck.

This morning I find out the truck never made it to the shop last night and was delivered this afternoon. That's a great feeling. I'm crossing my fingers and thanking God I wasn't in an accident with diplomats and tourists looking at the pink trees.

In other news, it's up in the air as to whether I am "fired" or "on call" at the bar. That's also a good feeling. My attempt to rescue a fellow server who works too much was denied this morning and all attempts at getting an answer from management are going no where. Fun times! I guess that means God wants me to sleep in all week! It's a done deal.