Joy and Pain

I'm old.

2010-06-03T13:04:00.002-05:00

Wow. It's been almost 2 years since my last post. My bad.

Sit back (all of you...) and relax. I'm back with witty jabs and exposed drama. Let's face it, Facebook is the lazy person's blog. Which is why I gave up on the blog and moved on to one liners and links. But Lord knows, I love to talk so I'm back. Back to blogging.

86 Teenage Angst

2008-11-14T16:06:00.003-05:00

I am so glad I'm old. I can totally see my parents happily packing my belongings and sending me off to "get the flu shot."

"Mom...so, how come we're on the highway and crossing state lines?"

"It's a "special flu shot" Joy. Really. You'll see."

"Why is all my stuff in the back seat, Mom?"

"To make the trip more fun, silly. Now be quiet."

So...Was the entire state of Nebraska looking for fry cooks at their local Burger Kings? WTF?

"Please don't bring your teenager to Nebraska," Gov. Dave Heineman told CNN. "Think of what you are saying. You are saying you no longer support them. You no longer love them."

(No shit!)

"Five of the abandoned children were brought to Nebraska from out of state. Parents have traveled into Nebraska from Michigan, Indiana, Iowa, Florida and Georgia. Tysheema Brown drove from Georgia to leave her teenage son at an Omaha hospital.

"Do not judge me as a parent. I love my son and my son knows that," Brown said."

Very nice quote Ms. Brown. Classy.

I guess kids really do have to zip their lips and not talk back. Have fun growing up everyone. I can see the threat to the hospital coming in handy myself, actually...don't judge me.

I'm old!!!!

2008-11-07T14:01:00.005-05:00

Ooooooooh, guess what's up? I'm old, bitches! One more year I am thanking God for keeping me on this planet. (Thanks, God!)

I'd also like to take the time to thank my Mom for deciding to keep me and put up with me. (Thanks Mom!)

And Katie, Thank you for making me drink GM, and Patron, and some pumpkinesque shot that I know had Goldschlager in it...damn you! The Alagash was tasty. As was the Guinness.

In other news: I made it through the night. Even though I was proud (and ashamed) for staying away from Bourbon, the other odds and ends behind the bar are making me a tired lady today. The countdown to my extended birthday week begins.

Nov 10 - Hello, Kings of Leon. I have been crossing the days off my calendar for you boys.

Nov 11 - People in Planes (Yay!) and the Toadies....at the 9:30

Nov 12 - Smashing Pumpkins. At DAR (Lame!)

Nov 13 - Calexico. At 9:30.

Nov 18 - Eagles of Death Metal. 9:30...I need a concert buddy for this one. Why is everyone out of town but me? C'mon, people...

Oh! Yours truly rode the bus. And made to metroman's blog. Sweeeet! My story is entitled: Ahole on the S4. I have a talent. For spotting aholes and drinking at bars.

Score!

2008-10-30T08:55:00.004-05:00

After failing to purchase tickets via the devil's right hand, known to the general public as Ticketmaster, my concert bff and I thought we were sol this year and would miss out on Kings of Leon. After stalking Craig's list and eBay for a good month I found someone selling sweet seats at DC's worst music venue. For the list ticket price. What?!?! It was worth the hour drive out to the boonies to pick up the ticket. This is said a good week before the show. If we get to DAR and find out the tickets are fake, I'm going back out to the boonies and causing a ruckus. And with that said, I'm officially planning the Beattie birthday bash and extending it a few days so this show is a part of it.

I haven't given props where they're due, and here's a Cliff's notes version.

Mother Mother - Despite having possibly the most ridiculous hangover I have had in YEARS (I hate you bourbon...but I really do love you) it was a fantastic show. I love DC9 and to see a pretty unique band there was awesome and worth my getting out of bed and taking a shower. The opening bands were interesting too. KI Theory (out of Richmond) was quite interesting to watch. Those boys were way into their music...

Side note - what's up with kids (more like 20 and on up) wearing big ass backpacks coming to shows and then half way in, dancing like they're at a rave? They're missing everything but the glow sticks...do they realize it's not a rave, not the type of music, etc. Don't spill my beer while you flail your arms or there will be hell to pay! I've seen it twice now...at Mother Mother and at Pinback. You have a 30 year old drunk raver flailing right next to a mob of frat boys jumping. Niiiiice.

Cold War Kids - Not sure if I talked about this. I've seen them 3 times now and am damn happy after each show.

The Rosebuds - I saw them at the Cat last week and while I was happy to see them headlining, I was a little ticked they only played for an hour. And told all of us that they were done after the next two songs and would not do an encore. Huh? Really? Well, thanks for the heads up...

* Upcoming - Deer Hunter at the Black Cat, 11/4 (otherwise known as pre-Beattie birthday)

* Possibly the Mountain Goats at the 9:30, 11/6 (on said birthday...plans may change. I may be in a gutter after drinking bourbon all day...)

* The Sea & Cake - Black Cat, 11/8

* Stellastar - R&R, 11/9

* Kings of Leon (woohoo!) - DAR, (boo!) 11/10

* People and Planes (woohoo!) and the Toadies...at 9:30, 11/11

* Sounds of Kaleidoscope - Velvet Lounge, 11/12

* Calexico - 9:30, 11/13

It's going to be a busy November...!

Badass!

2008-10-08T09:48:00.002-05:00

One of the best shows I've ever seen!

I am getting spoiled with the Fleet Foxes on Fri night and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on Monday. Dang!

I was converted into a Nick Cave fan by my old roommate (Thanks, O!) and have to say, he's one of the best performers I've ever seen. And as far as people watching goes...quite a fine show for that.

By a random stroke of fate, our gang met up with the lead singer (Peter Mavrogeorgis) of the band the Bellmer Dolls and his girlfriend. He was a super cool guy and it's too bad we didn't get to see them on Sun night when they opened for Nick Cave. In any event, it was a damn fine show.

Coming up, The Wedding Present and the Jealous Girlfriends at the Black Cat on Sat. And the Heartless Bastards on Monday. Unless someone calls me with a spare ticket to Hot Chip, I'm missing out tonight. Considering I need to recharge my batteries, this could be a good thing.

Harmony Like You Wouldn't Believe!

2008-10-06T12:52:00.005-05:00

Beyond cool. Utterly amazing. So damn good. I couldn't believe how perfect the Fleet Foxes show was at the Black Cat this Friday. I knew it'd be good, but I didn't think it would be that good. It was almost effortless. Fleet Foxes did not disappoint.

The crowd was pretty decent considering it was a sold out show. Everyone behaves when it's mellow music, I guess. It was a bit too pretty, a different kind of rocking out, if you will. For anyone that hasn't heard of Fleet Foxes, refer back to the harmony found in the Beach Boys, add the folk of Dylan and Simon and Garfunkle and cross that with the folk rock of Crosby, Stills and Nash. Those are just some of the gang's influence, as it's what their parents were into back in the day. What's up with Seattle being a kick ass town for bands, anyway?

In other news, Oktoberfest ended up being fun on Sat. The weather was beautiful, the Arlingtonians came out in full force and we overpaid for 6 oz samples of pretty decent beer. Thanks to the college boys for meeting up for a few pints during and after...I'm happy to say I endured the drunkfest up until last call. Guess I just need my college friends to ensure I make it to the finish line.

And up for tonight, Nick Cave!!! After a late night drunk and excited "Oh my God, Nick Cave isn't human!" text from O, I am very excited to go to tonight's show. Other Beattie sightings could be The Wedding Present and The Jealous Girlfriends at the Cat on Sat, and the Heartless Bastards at the Cat a week from today.

Pinback and the Frat Boys

2008-10-02T11:06:00.002-05:00

Yay, Pinback! I've been wanting to see these boys for a very long time and finally got my chance. They put on a great show at the Black Cat last night; their sunshiny Cali-indie rock made the night a bit less dank. Aside from the 7 foot tall frat boys that pushed their way in front of me, the show was pretty good. Three of said frat boys moved as one being, doing the frat/white boy nod dance as one solid unit. Probably because they shared the same brain. I did get to see a bit of the projected film clips and band members when the popped collar lads went to go get another budweiser. So, thanks for that, guys.

Armistead Burwell Smith IV (what a name) aka Zack Smith and Rob Crow set up their guitars and teased us for a good 30 minutes before they actually played, but it was worth it. I heard my favorite Pinback song, Non-Photo Blue and Good to Sea, which were sped up a lot as opposed to the flowy album versions. Rob Crow's giggles and talks while tuning in between songs and at the encore were fun, as were his intermitent chugging of New Castle. Gotta love it when the band is having fun.

Next up:

Fleet Foxes! (10/3, Black Cat)

Nick Cave! (10/6, 9:30)

Hot Chip (10/8, 9:30)

The Wedding Present and The Jealous Girlfriends (10/11, Cat)

The Heartless Bastards (10/13, Cat)

In other Beattie sightings, I'm excited about seeing 1984 at the Atlas Theatre tonight. And all hail Oktoberfest on Sat, with the boys from college. Good times!

Rowdy Iranian Boys = A Surprisingly Good Time

2008-09-23T12:19:00.004-05:00

The Red & the Black dragged me out of my hobbit hole after a long week/end of work. I'm glad I made the trip since I had a chance to see Hypernova this Sun night. I stumbled across the band and the many positive reviews just sort of screamed, "GO!" and I caved. I walked into the bar to see 4 skinny Iranian looking hipsters sitting at the front table. Who looked not too surprisingly, like the pic above. Only clearer because I was sober as a judge.

There was a surprise opener consisting of a handful of high school boys (the name of the band is escaping me...sorry guys.) Their parents were ROCKING. I'm telling you, it must have been a fun ride home in the minivan that night.

Hypernova is very good. They reminded me a bit of Interpol smushed with the Editors with a tiny bit of Madrugada anger thrown in for good measure. Nothing like a passionately riled up Iranian band to get you going. They wore the skinny jeans and tossed their hair (most of them did). It sort of made me want to see them lined up with Monotonix. But that could throw me over the edge...

Alright, upcoming shows if I can get my tail out of work:

My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult - DC9 - 9/28 (c'mon...it's worth it just for the people watching...)

* Pinback - Black Cat - 10/01

* Fleet Foxes - Black Cat - 10/03

* Nick Cave - 9:30 - 10/06

* Hot Chip - 9:30 - 10/08

Of Montreal - 9:30 - 10/9

It's going to be a fun October!

Can't Get Enough...

2008-09-15T11:48:00.001-05:00

People in Planes!

I saw the boys at DC9 a few weeks back and was pretty darn excited to see they were opening for Stereophonics at the 9:30 on 9/11. They didn't have their new album at the last show so I trapsed down to the club to see them on "the big stage." Man, what a difference a stage makes. Granted, they were awesome at DC9, but it was obvious that the venue and good sound equipment made them happy. AND I got the album, which promptly gave me error codes when I put it in my cd player...hmmmmm. What gives, gentlemen? Or could it be the cheapest cd player in humanity's fault...

The headlining band was Stereophonics. Not to put them last, but well, I saw them open for David Bowie (!) a few years back and maybe it's the fact that no one can compare with Bowie, or that they just plain sucked live. They were much better this time around and I heard a couple of my favorite songs (on the old albums...). And it doesn't hurt that they're pretty hot. In any case, it was a great lineup and fun to see PIP again.

East (Euopean Folk Punk...) Meets West

2008-09-10T11:05:00.000-05:00

I have seen a lot of shows and have not posted anything since Summerbirds. My bad. I'm going to give the cliff notes version, which is probably better anyway! The Walkmen came back to their stomping grounds on 9/06 and played an early show at the 9:30. They were pretty damn good, I have to say. And the highlight of the whole show were the 3 70+ year old rockers who had a blast in the front, center during the whole show. Man! I was there early and saw an old dude leaning on an amp on the stage and did a double take. This was followed by the god awful smell of Chantilly Lace...and giddy laughter from two white haired ladies who were all smiles. "This is great! Now all we have to do is get in the center," One of them yelled while pulling her friend and motioning at the old man. They all pushed their way to center stage and man...I didn't stop grinning the entire night. They danced through the whole show and sure as shit stayed in the front. I love it!

Aside from slugging down Stella all night and most of the band members having backup drinks (a sign of greatness), the piano player/guitar player Paul Maroon brought his son onstage at the end of the show and let him watch/play some stick knocker instrument. He was a teeny lad, maybe 3ish with the rocker long hair and a kickass hat and big ol' headphones to protect his ears. Awe.

The show opened with this random (cool) band called Golem. They were all in red and entertained me fully. Who doesn't like wailing Yiddish followed everyonce inawhile with an english curse I understand? That and the accordian make for a fun combo...they call themselves a "Eastern European Folk-Punk Band."

Summerbirds come back to DC

2008-09-04T08:12:00.005-05:00

It's hard to get people to drag themselves out the first day after a holiday weekend. H Street was a deserted strip on Tues night, but I was one of the lucky ones who made it out and had a chance to see Summerbirds at Red & Black Bar. The venue is small, so the odds of getting up close to see a great show is always in your favor. Throw in the show being on Tues after Labor Day and you've got it made.

The guys in the band, Brad, Curtis, and Tyson, are some of the nicest guys you'll meet. The Summerbirds started out in Orlando, and have made a huge following in Florida and Georgia and seem to be on the road quite a bit. Both Brad and Curtis are also in Now it's Overhead. It's hard to pick one element of the band I like the best. Heavy on the synth, and a great mix of vocals and guitar make can't be a bad combination. Their first album has been in heavy rotation in my ipod and their second album, Druids, should prove to be a great addition.

Druids should be out around the beginning of 2009 and it sounds like DC will be another stop early next year.

Next shows, come and join me!

The Walkmen - 9/6, 6:30pm at the 9:30 Club

The Veils - 9/6, 10PM at Rock and Roll Hotel

People in Planes and Stereophonics - 9/11 at the 9:30 Club

Layover at DC9

2008-08-26T13:26:00.005-05:00

Finally! I've been excited about this show for ages. People in Planes played an intimate show at DC9 this past Sunday and I finally got a chance to see how great this band is. Their first album, As Far as the Eye can See, has been on heavy rotation in my ipod since 2006 and their follow up, Beyond the Horizon, is around the corner. (Meaning the boys will be back in the fall for more shows!)

The band wrapped up early enough for them to have a few beers while packing up their gear and heading to New York. They were all gracious enough to sign my album and we even chatted up Ian Russell (awesome keyboardist) over Sambuca and Schlitz. Hopefully their move from Wales to NY will encourage frequent visits to DC!

Upcoming shows:

Timberwolf Division at the Velvet Lounge - Fri, 8/29

Summerbirds in the Cellar at The Red & Black - Tues, 9/02

The Veils at Rock & Roll Hotel - Sat, 9/06

Stereophonics at the 9:30 Club - Thurs, 9/11

Towelhead!

2008-08-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

Alan Ball. Aaron Eckhart. Toni Collette. That was enough to make me eager for the movie. I wasn't disappointed! Thanks to E Street Cinema, DC was lucky enough to see Towelhead a month early AND get to meet Alan Ball. I've been a huge fan since American Beauty and Six Feet Under and was giddy when I got the chance to see the film screening.

Then I got uncomfortable. As usual, Alan Ball gave us flawed characters and taboo relationships to agonize over for a good two hours. You wanted to punch pretty much every adult character, hug a few of them, and adopt Jasira. Like always, the dark humor evened out what could be a sad and disturbing series of events. Cheers, Alan Ball!

And Then There Were Two

2008-08-04T09:38:00.003-05:00

Man, was this a great show. There was a vibrant band, there was a great opener, there was a full bar, there were 16 year olds. It had all the elements of a great show. I've been a big fan of We are Scientists and finally had the chance to see them live. I'm so glad I finally got to do it! I was a bit worried since some fans were a bit miffed that the 3 man show is now a duo (Sorry to drummer, Michael Tapper who has since left the band.) Keith Murray and Chris Cain are thoroughly entertaining and I have to say, I enjoy the new album. Their "vaguely danceable" music had me at hello. I had the good fortune of meeting Keith Murray and bullying him into signing my cd for me. Thank you! If you're looking for a distraction from work, go and check out their videos. Aside from the great performance, I met another cool band, Apache Beat. This is an interesting collaboration. There's moody vocals (think Siouxsie and the Banshees or Concrete Blonde) and there's mad percussion. It works.

Coming up:

Mon, 8/04 - Cobra Collective and Exit Clov at Fort Reno

Mon, 8/11 - Grizzly Bears at the Historic Sixth and I Synagogue

Threesome at the Rock and Roll Hotel

2008-08-01T10:18:00.004-05:00

Melancholy. Ambient. Experimental. Melodious. Sound familiar? Those of you who enjoy a little Radiohead, Sigur Ros, and Portishead may get a kick out of Bellflur. This local band does a good job of sticking to mellow, often melancholy, experimental, post-rock. I have been listening to the DC band at work in the past few weeks and had the good fortune of checking them out live. The boys played at the Rock and Roll Hotel the other night and have to say I was not disappointed.

Go Home Robot was the headlining band. Aside from being 4 funny guys, they are full of energy, and very entertaining. Their sound was a bit more polished and a mix of psychedelic rock, electronica and pop. Worth checking out!

And finally, Solar Powered Sun Destroyer...I really dug this band. They were the second to go on, making my night a great one. I have to say that I'm normally not all that thrilled with opening bands. Tonight was definitely an exception. This group is working on their first album, and I'd buy it. They remind me of a fight between Incubus and Radiohead for whatever reason. They're playing at the Velvet Lounge on 8/15 and would be worth the trip out.

Upcoming shows for anyone who wants to join in:

We are Scientists at the Black Cat on Sat, 8/02

Cobra Collective at Fort Reno on Monday, 8/04

Dark, Dank, Rock Explosion.

2008-07-28T10:12:00.003-05:00

It was crazier than I anticipated. I narrowly escaped spit out beer and mayhem. It was a tad bit insane. And I loved it! Monotonix delivered last night at the Black Cat. Amid the dingy back room and lots of smelly, sweaty boys the rowdy Israeli band was a riot.

While Ami Shalev did not light himself or anyone else on fire, he did snatch up a few beers, spit at people, jump on shoulders, yell at us, throw a mic in my face (at which point all I could do was stare dumbly in amazement) and surf the crowd. All without landing on his tail end, for which I was very amazed. I don't know what he's on, but man, it's working. On top of that, their drummer ended up kneeling on one of his drums and was lifted over the heads of the crowd, while he continued playing on drums that people were holding over their heads. Insane. Monotonix will be back in the fall and if you missed out in the excitement, I think a trip out to see the trio will be well worth it.

Beattie Returns.

2008-07-20T20:52:00.003-05:00

I finally did it. I got the balls required for a 3 hour stint of pain and can now live up to my "joy and pain" labeling. I am so darn happy with it and figured it may in fact be blog worthy. Although most of the people that see it immediately ask if it's real...

They are sure to believe I am not creative enough to take a sharpie to my leg. If they see my many fine examples of failed artwork it would be all too clear. (*Cough* Microsoft paint) It doesn't come off with soap and water (Sorry, Mom and Dad) and it won't peel off either. It's almost healed and then I will be even happier! Cheers to my sister for putting up with me while I winced in the chair. I owe you support for 3 hours of pain. Let me know when you want me to pay you back. ;)

That's all for now. More in another couple of months.

The Earth Does Not Revolve Around the Sun

2008-04-23T13:15:00.003-05:00

It revolves around Lou Reed. And he is very happy about it.

After buying a $53 ticket to Lou Reed, and crying a little bit at the price tag, I ended up being very excited to catch his performance at the 930 yesterday. Little did I know the man was just a tad bit of a douchebag. The music was definitely worth seeing, don't get me wrong. While his talent is not coming into question, his disrupting my chances of drinking really took him down a notch. The man requested that no alcohol of any kind be served on the main levels of the bar so as to not "disrupt" the show. What?!? You mean, you want me to watch you sober? And by watch I mean the very top of your head and mostly the mic stand and every once in a while, the drummer. (I was way in the back and every 10 minutes I got a gulp of fresh air and a view of Lou Reed in his pompous glory.)

So instead of us witnessing a sober and blissful performance, most of us were just plain angry. And man, did the masses bumrush the bottom and top bars in their quest for warm draft beer. So much for not having an interrupted performance Lou. I would say it backfired. The show went on promptly at 9pm and was over at 10:30. After the encore. What gives, Lou? Did you really just want to get the hell out of dodge? I know DC is probably not your favorite town, but we all paid over $50 to see you and are not drinking. You are a big tease. And we are angry and unfulfilled.

It's been a few moons since I have worked in a bar, but how happy do you think the bartenders made out last night? All the bars that were out of commission were manned by at least 2 appologetic bartenders who threw away garbage all night and kept telling us NO. Nice work, Lou! (Now what would at least make me snicker in a "You ARE an asshole!" kind of way would be if he said not one drop of alcohol was allowed in the entire venue and then we saw him drinking onstage for the entire performance. Go for the glory or go home, Lou.)

Oh and by the way, I'm back! I was considering making it a full year before my first post, but I really missed microsoft paint. And ranting online. Hello, again!

Stranger than Fiction = Not a Waste of Time

2007-08-08T08:39:00.000-05:00

I am glad I didn't return this DVD unwatched to Netflix (to ensure I got Weeds season 2 instead). This was a great movie and I was not expecting it, despite the reviews. Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) was a surprising hero and I was very delighted. From character development to witty scripts, I really enjoyed this movie. Not to mention the soundtrack was great. Go rent it.

Here's the soundtrack info:
The Book I Write - Spoon
Going Missing - Maximo Park
Whole Wide World - Wreckless Eric
Flours - Britt Daniel/Brian Reitzell
The Way We Get By - Spoon
Mind Your Own Business - Delta 5
Bottles & Bones (Shade & Sympathy) - Califone
Writers Block - Britt Daniel/Brian Reitzell
My Mathmatical Mind - Spoon
La Petile Fille de Mer - Vengelis
That's Entertainment (Demo Version) - The Jam
Dubbing in the Back Seat - The Upsetters
Auditor - Britt Daniel/Brian Reitzell
In Church (Cyan & Ben Remix) - M83

The soundtrack alone is enough to make me happy. I'm definitely shelling out the funds to go see Spoon when they hit up the 9:30 sometime this October!

Learning is for Bitches

2007-08-07T14:44:00.000-05:00

I caught a glimpse of my last "recent" post and realized that I have repeated all of my "I'll never drink again!" offenses since I last surfaced here. Including the 2 day debauchery known as Virgin Fest. You'd be surprised how many people gave me gaping grins when I said "Virgin Fest" out loud. Apparently they didn't know we weren't going to be sacrificing 15 year old girls, but that I was attending a 2 day music festival. I disappointed many with my explanation of the over priced event in hell city (Baltimore.)

I was informed by my mapmaker friend that Baltimore is known as Charm City. It is all making sense to me. I had no clue that such a welcoming destination city could be so full of class and charm. I was *this* close to relocating based on the wonderful neighborhoods right out side of Pimlico. So close.

From my car nearing death (brakes decided to go AND my windshield wiper decided to flip half off its arm on the way home in the rain) to the hours and hours of drinking in Charm City, the weekend was an event to be sure. I was only drunk for a combined 30 hours, and I only lost one pair of sunglasses (in the perfect pile of strangers' poo in the most foul porta-john ever).

My bosses were kind enough to meet up on Sunday, and they treated us to lots of booze. That was a good and bad thing. While I hear lots of people saying,

"Joy...you don't have to drink to have fun," and

"Joy, what you are describing is fondly referred to as a blackout..."

I have to say, these people giving me this handy advice don't have enablers as friends, coworkers, and bosses. I love all my enablers for this very reason. My liver doesn't.

I have promised myself to review all the shows I see from now on. With pictures that will suspiciously look like the back of lots of people's heads. I usually end up with a nifty view of the backs of tons of tshirts and necks as I stand 2 feet below the jackasses that stand in front of me. I neglected to do this for a bunch and will probably do something sneaky like post (and backdate) my entry. I am crafty.

Without making this a very long post, what I liked about Virgin Fest:
- The ability to sneak in virtually everything under the sun.
- Vodka concealed in water bottles.
- Wu Tang, Bad Brains, Beastie Boys, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Spoon, Smashing Pumpkins, Velvet Revolver, Regina Spektor, The Police....in no particular order. But if I had to narrow things down, I'm really happy to have been there for the Beasties and Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
- Very good people watching. Everyone from yuppies, to rich kids, to groups of rich kids' parents, to band members adding to the mix.

Cons:
- Drunkenly drinking warm vodka instead of warm water. Not all it's cracked up to be.
- Baltmore. In general.
- Asshole vendors. Like the guy who wanted to sell me a $4 cup of ice. Jackass.
- The sun. I know it's needed, but not when it's 100 degrees.

I'm happy I went, but I miss my sunglasses and my dignity.

Idiot Savant Seeks a Long Spell of Sleep

2007-06-25T10:24:00.000-05:00

To everyone I know that hears the, "I'm perfect!" rant from me every five seconds...I am going to crush your world and say that I feel like death warmed over. Far from perfect.

I have been partying practically every day since Wednesday and my body hates me.

Seeing my UPS driver when out on the town last night made me realize it may be time to pack it in and be an adult for once. We'll see how that goes, but as of right this second, the thought of sleeping without the influence of alcohol for more than 3 hours sounds like a damn good idea.

Spa Day for Jake

2007-05-15T22:17:00.000-05:00

Hairy Jake has been transformed! This is my before and after segment. (This is before)Although based on posting placement I may have mixed things up a bit. My handsome boy is growing up!

A Tip in Getting Hot Bitches

2007-05-15T22:12:00.001-05:00

Show some style! Jake just got the biggest hair cut in his life. He also was upset to have a female go near his privates and paws. Which is one reason why we tend to think he may play for the other team. But look how cheeky he is!!!

I heart Keith Richards

2007-04-04T08:50:00.000-05:00

Not only is Keith Richards cool for being Keith Richards...he snorted his dad...Wow.

"He was cremated, and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

So, you know what that means, kids: if you want to be cool...make sure you go that extra step to show your parents how much you love them.

The Beattie-Mobile is Recovering!

2007-04-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! The Beattie-Mobile is almost done and back on the road. Thank you, PJ.

Fridays are for Winners

2007-03-31T14:35:00.000-05:00

I was driving with the windows down, excited to be on my way home to start the weekend. Plans include drinking with the college buddies and watching a kick ass burlesque group, Trixie Little, when...Ka-chunk. KA-CHUNK! Then I loose control of steering. It's a good think I just crossed over Memorial Bridge and stopped shy of the Rock Creek Parkway, or I would most likely have ended up in the ditch or oncoming traffic. I pulled over and proceeded to freak out. Then I hear hissing and see smoke and antifreeze. Not good. No one stops. For a good hour.

After it cools down, I eventually get back in and drive it to a gas station by the Watergate and wait for my tow truck. I proceed to see another Explorer on a tow truck pulling away and imagine the wrong one got towed. That'd be great to go outside to not have a car, only to discover they towed the wrong one. That would mean someone else had a craptacular Friday night on their hands and I was not alone.

I was rescued by Kaseem, who adamently told me the, "Non accident = $65 minimum, $100 maximum" painted on the side of his tow truck didn't apply to me. Ok. $160 later and I wave goodbye to my truck.

This morning I find out the truck never made it to the shop last night and was delivered this afternoon. That's a great feeling. I'm crossing my fingers and thanking God I wasn't in an accident with diplomats and tourists looking at the pink trees.

In other news, it's up in the air as to whether I am "fired" or "on call" at the bar. That's also a good feeling. My attempt to rescue a fellow server who works too much was denied this morning and all attempts at getting an answer from management are going no where. Fun times! I guess that means God wants me to sleep in all week! It's a done deal.

86 Beattie

2007-03-26T14:40:00.000-05:00

It's done! I am officially off the roster! After being put on "probation" because I called out of a shift (because I was working late at my full time gig) I decided, enough is enough. I am officially kaput and happy. Let this be a lesson to you, kiddies, if you want to call out of work, LIE. Say you are sick. Don't tell the truth or you may get a time out! I'll be on the drinking side of the bar if anyone needs me. I may pull a stint or two as I am going to be on call, but I won't hold my breath on that one. Cheers!

Darwin Awards

2007-02-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

So, I am well aware that there are a lot of stupid people that coexist with me. CNN.com has been informing me of their existance in the past few days and I am thoroughly amazed these people are still alive. I am also discovering that CNN and the Onion like to carry the same stories.

There's this kid (who's 29) ...who is very, very drunk who just got back to his hotel room in Minneapolis and decides he feels like running. He proceeds to bolt down the hall and through a window (with a security bar) and fall 16 floors to land on a concrete overhang one floor from the ground. He doesn't remember any of it. Because he was drunk. He also owns his own bar and is from Wisconsin. He doesn't think his fall will affect his drinking. Stories like these make me feel super glad I don't have a "drinking problem" and no longer live in the beer cozy state.

There's this kid (who's 39) who lives in a basement apartment with his mom, in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin...where my father lives...and he overhears a woman screaming during sex, which is coming from upstairs. He decides to grab a cavalry sword that is laying around his basement apartment and run up and protect the woman. He breaks into the apartment waving his sword and asks where she is. I bet he didn't expect to see his neighbor with his pants around his ankles watching a porno. How great to be the neighbor. Time to start watching your porn on your ipods people.

Ear Muffs are for Bitches.

2007-01-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

Long time no post...I know, I know. Yours truly is experiencing one of DC's finest colds. Thank you, to whoever gave it to me. It is nothing but fun so far. I'm in the losing-the-voice-blowing-out-the-ears-when-you-sneeze stage. I feel like I am underwater. I will survive. And as karma would have it, I am going to spread the blessings to everyone I can at the bar tonight...and tomorrow. Woohoo!

Life is grand. I had a fine dining experience last night. I can't say enough good things about mussels. I think they may be my favorite thing to eat, actually. Bistrot du Coin was a fun time for all of us - a few glasses of champagne and wine and I forgot all about the cold. Until I woke up all scratchy. I point the finger at Ruben where my nightcap turned into three rather large drinks. And a shot. Of Tequila. Damn, Ruben! Contrary to what my mother told me, gin and tonics aren't good for a cold. Who knew?

Any good shows coming up? Please fill me in, because I'm seeing jack on all of my attempts to find some fun concerts this month. I promise (righhhht) to keep up with the current events of Joy in 2007.

Be in the Know: Brad and Angelina are moving to New Orleans. Now you know.

A Dining Experience

2006-12-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

To those of you that only know I'm alive based on the blog...I'm alive! Current Beattie events worth mentioning will be limited to one narative involving a girl, her bosses, and a hoity restaurant I wouldn't be allowed into on my own:
I was lucky enough to dine out with my bosses at Cityzen last night to celebrate one of their birthdays. Taking a trip to a great restaurant like that with 3 professional chefs is quite an outing. Cityzen is beautiful! The crowd was a bit stuffy, but with the dirty jokes and rowdy birthday speeches, our table was at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Part of the night I felt like we were at the kid's table. We pissed off our servers because some of us went out to smoke after every course. But we sort of felt redeemed in that one of our chef's used to work with the Pastry Chef and I think we got hooked up on some of the meal. It's pretty funny how being with the right people can make a difference! If I showed up with people like me (no talent in the kitchen) we'd be seated in the back by the restrooms. Hanging with the foodies meant we weren't ignored; it was nice!

Not to make it a food/restaurant review, but I want to spread the word that it's a fun place to go if you want to throw around money...in SW.

My attempt at foie gras was...a first and final attempt. Maybe I shouldn't have googled the description before going out. Something about overfeeding a goose to death and confining it its entire life only to harvest and cook an organ...made me really not want to try it. One of my bosses called it an orgasm on a plate and if you saw his face when he heard he could have mine, man. He was in heaven. You say orgasm on a plate, I say cold jellied gravy. Considering I am a savage from Wisconsin, I was amazed that I only snubbed one course. And loved anything that had alcohol in it. I had my first truffle (fungus not the chocolate) and it was great to see the chefs' reactions when those of us that don't cook compared it to Campbell's Golden Mushroom soup.

It's amazing how stuffed you get when you eat little bits at a time. We were full after the 3rd tasting. I made up for the lack of foie gras with the wine pairing. I hit the jackpot on that angle...champagne, a different wine with every course, plus 2 additional wines, port, dessert wine, and later grand marnier. I felt as lit up as the Christmas tree in the foyer.

Cheers to a great boss' birthday bash. I'll never pass up a dining out opportunity with that group again!

Little Beattie is all Grown Up

2006-10-12T21:47:00.000-05:00

And the youngest Beattie is able to throw away the fake ID (that Dad knows about apparently?) and can now brazenly sit at the open bar in a week without getting yelled at by your mother. Congrats, Donny for making it to 21 without seeing the back of a squad car or having to say the alphabet backwards. And more power to you for going out last night and braving the sleety streets of Minneapolis all in order to brave a couple classes that you should have skipped. Hitting the books on your birthday? That's just crazy talk. But you made up for it for waking up Dad and your mom at 1:30 this morning. Especially since Dad still doesn't know how to listen to voicemails. I can't wait to see you in a week, brother of mine. The happiest of birthdays.

That What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger?

2006-09-15T08:52:00.000-05:00

Is it true what they say, that spinach is one of the best things for you? The scare that has killed one believer in Wisconsin has me thinking I'd rather reach for a Snickers bar. What about salads that have spinach mixed in? If that's the case, I may be in for it. I had salad mix with spinach (and ruinned it with cheese and croutons) last night in order to be healthy. No more attempts at healthy living from me!

"We're telling people if they have bagged produce and they feel like it's a risk, throw it out," Michigan Department of Community Health spokesman T.J. Bucholz said. "If they feel like they have to eat it, wash it first in warm water."

Can you imagine being that hard up for spinach that you don't want to throw away a $3 bag so that you can risk the shits and possibly impending death (by spinach)? I guess the Darwin awards would go to anyone that actually thought about this and proceeded to eat it. I know my life is worth much more, even to the point of a $5 6pack.

Is this poop tainted batch of spinach Popeye's kryptonite? What a way to go.

Weed and Bourbon don't Mix

2006-09-11T13:50:00.000-05:00

Ah...random musings brought to you by Beattie.
After spending my days with the crazy dog in Mount Vernon and at the pub for work, since Wednesday, I spent a relaxing night with my close to brand new bottle of Bulliet bourbon...so good. This seemed like a damn good idea, when I started.
The first Weeds dvd finally got to me via the zen like creatures at Netflix and I was pretty excited to watch it. It's a damn good show. I almost wish that I had Showtime, so I could keep up with the new ones. Nothing good is on HBO anyway and my DVR is lonely and looking for projects.
Three bourbons on the rocks later and I don't remember anything. I may have had more, but I think I was pretty much dead to the world at that point. The last scene on the dvd made me cry. It was that or the bourbon. I also woke up at 8:30 am in a bed without pillows or blankets. Laundry day was Friday and everything was in my living room.
My cell phone alarms went off for 2 hours and I didn't hear a damn thing. Who needs Ambien, when they can just get drunk. And have a horrible and well deserved hangover the next day?

A Place for the Special People in DC

2006-09-06T14:31:00.000-05:00

What about this school doesn't scream, special?
I think this is a great addition to a sketchy part of DC. I know I'd want my retarded child to go to school by the Armory to a big BEAUTIFUL building like this. I wonder if they have any normal sized busses parked there, or just the short busses. Or do those kids take the metro?

Gwenyth....Smenyth...

2006-08-16T13:15:00.000-05:00

Gwenyth Paltrow is one of many celebs who decide when they "retire" they are just kidding! Who Cares. Come on back, Gwen. Maybe you are one of many people that really shouldn't sit at home with the kids. I'd get bored too. Come on back and make some money!
Really. I personally think she should go get knocked up by her man and name the new kid, Plum.

Coffee and Crack make it all Better

2006-06-30T08:11:00.000-05:00

Was that last blurb a bit much? Lo siento, but I was inspired to drink a shot of GM...something I swore off in April.
I'm officially over the fritatta. It's good and all...but everyone needs options. Mine are tortilla chips or ketchup or fritatta. I've been choosing the fritatta, but it's getting old.
My neighboorhood is turning ghetto again for anyone that is interested in knowing. I woke up at 3am in a cold sweat (that turned into a hot sweat b/c yours truly forgot to turn back on her AC unit after microwaving her fritatta...for anyone that doesn't know: I live in the ghetto and an old ass, but cool, apartment and I blow fuses whenever I blow dry my hair or watch tv, or use the microwave while my AC is on, or when anything is really on.) So...I woke up to really, really hard knocking and some yelling downstairs. I guess the new neighbors now hate each other, and I was able to experience being in a relationship again through them, excellent. The honeymoon is pretty much over as soon as you try to move into a 500 sq. foot apartment together. Then some ahole kept backing up their big ass truck for a good 3 hours (probably just one) and their warning beep was the same sound as my alarm. That was awesome! I think I snoozed 8 times before realizing the truck and my alarm were two different things. It'll all be better with a shitload of coffee. Yay!

Joy of Cooking Revised Edition

2006-06-28T08:21:00.000-05:00

Hey, who would have thought that the fritatta would turn out good? It kicked some serious ass. I can't say that drinking before and after didn't help, but man. I'm a good cook if you look past the series of set backs until the final product.
I'll tell you how much I love fritattas after it's the only thing I eat all week. It's seriously the only thing in my house to eat aside from a helluva lot of condiments and booze.

The Joy of Cooking

2006-06-27T21:32:00.000-05:00

Ah...yeah, so it's been awhile. While I smell my dinner burning, I thought I'd give the world a little glimpse into my reality. Cooking. While I like to think I am a superstar, I can pretty much just make drinks. And if you think they suck, the odds are you just don't like a strong drink. And I'll take care of that for you and finish it myself.
I decide that I will cook. Brilliant. Mediterranean Fritatta sticks out of a culinary magazine delivered to my workplace (a catering/restaurant company) and I decide I can do it too. Right. My #1 tip off that I shouldn't have even attempted it, is that it's in a culinary magazine. For the pros. Tip off # 2 is that my kitchen isn't really a kitchen. It's more of a galley. I have the world's smallest oven, pans, counter (it's maybe 1'x1' if I'm lucky. My mom's idea of more counter space was opening a drawer and putting a book or a cutting board on it and using that. I tried that once and dropped half of what was on it. Tip off # 3, I have no skill at cooking, which I refered to before and I'm a Beattie, the phrase "Beattied it" just works in stories like these.
I will keep the story short and say that I got home from work at maybe 8:45pm. I was excited about cooking something for once and was motivated since I did prep work last night, only because I didn't buy the whole recipe...cause it was raining and I was lazy and didn't want to cook. I also prepped because I figured it would motivate me to actually finish a task and not let the veggies rot in my fridge. After the debacle of assembling all ingredients (I had to cook chicken...and while cuisinarting the eggs, milk, and chicken broth, I didn't notice the "liquid can only go so far" line and I filled it a good 2x past the line and said liquid filled my 1' x 1' counter and set be back a little bit of time...but it's ok, because I started drinking vino as soon as I walked in the door...which I knocked over when washing dishes 30 minutes after the liquid incident.)
I get the fritatta in my tiny ass oven and start washing dishes and realize I forgot to add the fake bacon bits I made a special trip for tonight because Trader Joes is too health conscious to carry bacon bits when I bought the rest of my recipe list last night...fuck. So I open up the oven and try to arrange the fake bacon amongst the egg...and cheese...and spinach (there was some good stuff in it) and well, it was already sorta over flowing. I molded it so most of the goods went to the middle of the dish. Ok. Set.
I proceed in the washing. Which is when I knocked over the wine. While cleaning I noticed a brilliant smell. Like scrambled eggs. I guess could have saved the 2 hours I spent making the fritatta and made scrambled eggs...something I am *good* at, unless you count the fact that it should have been an omelet originally. So...I open the oven and my creation is pouring down the sides of the dish onto the floor (?) of the oven. Hmmm. Can't be good. I knew I had small pans. Looks likeI shouldn't have made the whole recipe. It may be meant to feed a whole restaurant, not one person. Who has a galley for a kitchen. The smart part of me realizes that's going to burn in less than 5 minutes, so I scrape it up and concoct a McGyver solution to trap the rest of the leaking mess. (Foil on a pizza sheet. I don't know if it's working cause I'm on the computer.) It still smells good and it's 10:24 pm. If the recipe works itself out, it's supposed to be ready around 11. And it's going to end up costing me about $60, including the bottles of wine, which may be all I end up consuming. I don't even want to eat it anymore. And my dumbass only bought the ingredients for the recipe. Which is half on the floor of my oven...and won't be ready until at least 11. Which is why I don't cook. (Rant aside, I'm pretty damn happy. The wine hits the spot!)

Beattie and the Jake

2006-06-02T10:45:00.000-05:00

Yay! I officially have the Jake. For at least three weeks I have my very own dog. We'll see how traumatizing life can be for this cheeky furball. Little does he know that he's getting a bath tonight. This may be the end of his love for me. It will also destroy my apartment!
Cheers to my parents, who are on their way to India. They are losing one whole day in flight; they left yesterday night and will arrive in India on Saturday. I am glad I'm not dealing with that jet lag. I can't wait to hear about how much fun they are having. It's only 105 degrees out there right now. Ough.

Beattie is in Love with an Irishman

2006-05-31T09:59:00.000-05:00

Ok...so I may be in love with a whole slew of Irish men, but am I a happy girl, now that Denis Leary is back for my viewing pleasure. One of the best shows out there...Rescue Me is alive and well.

Everytime I think I have a dysfunctional family, I can look at the angry Irish (granted it's on tv) and realize I could marry into a whole bunch more if I really wanted to.

Countdown to the Jake begins....now. Did I mention that we entered him for the Old Navy dog? We did. So did at least 115,000 other people. And do you have any idea how many people named their dogs Jake? I am driving my family off to Dulles tomorrow. Then it's me and the dog for a 3 whole weeks!

Is Brangelina Offspring the Devil?

2006-05-30T12:54:00.000-05:00

So...I try to keep up with current events, as you may or may not know. While reading various articles on CNN's website, I come across an article about Brad and Angelina's new baby. Very exciting. In said article, I gaped at the following,

"In a sign of media fascination with the pair, "New York" magazine recently said the baby was the most anticipated since Jesus and would be more newsworthy than the recent birth of a daughter to Hollywood stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes."

WHAT?!?!

Give me a break. I'm sorry, but Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' new baby is much more important. C'mon. Can these events even compare?

And the comparison to Jesus...NY Magazine must have some badass sources and references. I can only imagine how many people must have anticipated the birth of Jesus and left those stats on stone tablets for such reputable media outlets to use in 2006. If Brangelina's new baby is second to Jesus, does that make her the antichrist? Can the antichrist have a vagina? That'd be pretty cool.

You may also be interested to know that in my attempts to find cartoon pictures of the antichrist, I got more hits for George W. than anything else. Maybe the antichrist doesn't have a vagina.

Mussels and Champagne Make for a Good Time

2006-05-24T00:25:00.000-05:00

So, I dig mussels. Snail isn't all that shabby either, as long as there's a ton of butter and garlic to cover it up, or...enhance the flavor of the slow, slimy creature. Dinner at Bistro Du Coin was kick ass tonight. I don't know what I was expecting...but it was so much fun. I can totally see it as a place to go and drink some wine and chill out.
And while I'm not a huge fanatic of champagne or white wine, I was so happy to eat mussels and drink the bubbly! I think it's going to have to become commonplace. All of this excitement, is made possible thanks to Katie. Hope you had a happy birthday, compadre, it was fun for me.
I proceeded to win a ton of chips "playing" poker, and then lost a dollar after we started to actually play for money. Good times were had by all. Cheers to a great year ahead of you, Katie!

Aging Gracefully Always Includes Alcohol

2006-05-23T13:46:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Katie! You are catching up to me; we are old bitches.
Props to the coworkers who decided to celebrate your birth with margaritas and sombreros. Did you all take siestas after lunch? Obviously...government employees and naps go hand in hand.
Cheers to you and the innevitable hangover you are going to have tomorrow after mixing tequila and champagne. Happy Birthday.

Parton and Stalone Amaze the Masses

2006-05-03T08:14:00.000-05:00

Long time no post. I know. I have had a lot of memorable moments too, but they are going to have to wait until the epic novel of my life to come out to the public. And by public I mean everyone that I have not blabbed my life story to already. Aside from falling in love (sigh)
I have been busy working. I'm back at the Irish pub. While the work load is something to be desired (it's not like I sleep anyway...) I am 2 shifts away from making my rent. So, in other words, "I'm rich, bitch!"

Not really, but it's nice. So I'm flipping through tv last night...deleting my filled up Tivo, cause I'm never home...and I stumble across some quality programing. RHINESTONE. Who knew a talented actor like Sylvester...would get to gether with a talented musician...Dolly Parton.

I think I am going to start my Christmas list early this year. If there is a sequel I want it too! And if anyone knows of a soundtrack or movie posters, don't you keep me in the dark!
Ough. Can you imagine any love scenes? With his "accent" and her boobs and fro. That'd be too much for me to handle.

Friends are like Assholes.

2006-04-11T22:07:00.000-05:00

Yeah. I think this about sums up how I feel. I have bitched and moaned in the past. I know it. So does pretty much everyone that knows me. Here comes another one that may be a tad bit justified.

Ever leave your tax paperwork at a bar? On purpose? With someone you really trust? No? Maybe it's just a Beattie that would do that...but I did in any case...with someone I have known a very, very long time.

A month later and still...no word...no word about my taxes being done, but many conversations that include things like, "Oh! He has your taxes, he's just really busy..." and "No word...I'll let you know..." Well after over a month of this interaction I end up wising up and call my "accountant" to find he never, ever, EVER, got my tax paperwork. Not ever. Not in 2006, anyway. WTF is going on? A solid week of phone calls to pretty much everyone, except my friend's mother, many voicemails, and many trips to the bar (without drinking!) and it's like the friend dropped off the face of the planet. I know I'm intimidating. I know. But scary enough to not return a vm (it's easy...no contact w/ me is truly needed. No text message. Nothing. Who does that? At this point it is April 8 and I am panicking...This means I have to call employers I don't want to talk to...the bank, etc. AND file an extension...something I've never done. Great...but it gets done. Today is April 11 and I got it all accomplished. And still, no word from said friend.

I even called the accountant again, to make sure my stuff didn't get lost. How great do I sound, that my "friend" doesn't talk to me? Am I making my mystery friend up? I may as well have put everything together, wrapped it in a bow, and thrown it in the trash. What gives...

My new pal, the tax man gives me the best call ever this afternoon...right after I mailed off the extension and checked off my "people to call" list to get copies of everything. He got the taxes! Yay! Still no call from the friend.

On top of it...it turns out my "day job" employer has been filing my state taxes wrong...so I owe VA $1K and am getting $1K back from DC...in like a year, or whenever they feel like giving someone money...nothing really gets done in DC...lovely. When you Beattie your taxes, you Beattie your damn taxes.

Hence the wonderful artwork.

Ah, the Wonder of Digital Cameras

2006-04-04T22:57:00.000-05:00

How great is it that my friend, O happened upon this sight in the slums of Arlington? How did God find out?
I am a bit shamed and that's where it ends. And now you all know.

I happened upon this landmark as a new comment on myspace, in front of my parents, who are visiting. It's not like I live in their house or anything. But I was in their trailer...in Maryland.
(But in their defense, it's awesome. The Double Tree Hotels make Suites RVs, who knew?) It is probably as big as my apartment, so I can't really make fun...
So when I'm done touching myself, I need to pray that God will keep the sin from my (Born again Christian) parents. So thanks, Omar. If they saw it, I'll just tell them it's from you and you are a heathen who doesn't know any better...and is going to hell.

So, anyone else see the really cool storm last night? Apparently the weather men think they're hilarious...a caption above the storm system was, "System of a Downpour." It was almost too much to handle.

The night proceeded with me watching a PG13 movie with my mom (I try to avoid anything that's not R or above for the thrill factor. Movies need nudity, gore, sex, violence, drugs, and death scenes to really do anything for me. But I try to keep that away from the parents.) However, In her Shoes, seemed like a bet for parents/daughter bonding...but it really pushed the line and I get squirmy. I used to run out for a preplanned trip to the bathroom or to make a phone call or get a drink, when I knew a sex scene was coming up in movies when with the parents. Can't really avoid that stuff when you're crammed in a room on wheels. In the rain. And I'm 26!

We later got into blood and guns (Yay) when flipped through basic cable and landed on Die Hard. You know how they're letting common curse words like, bitch, ass, and bastard, fly on tv? Apparently not "mother fucker." You can't bleep over Samuel L Jackson. It's just not right. He told Bruce Willis, courtesy of TNT most likely, "Not all black men know how to use a gun, you racist, melon picker." What? Way to let me down, basic cable.

And so it Begins...

2006-04-02T12:07:00.000-05:00

My parents are in town! I am very thrilled! It was an excuse to quit the second job and now I get to act as a tourist...the tourist part I can live without.

It's time to be embarrassed, because no...I've never been to this museum, or this monument, or this one, or that one, but I drive past them all the time on the way to the bars...Yeah, the tourist part could be dangerous.

I even get to brave the masses that are in town for the Cherry Blossoms and Festivals...a whopping million plus came into town to see trees. TREES. Don't they have trees where you are from? Pink ones, at that? They are pretty...but I better bring some liquor with me, so I don't stress about all the people. Wish me luck!

The Editors are no Longer DC Virgins

2006-03-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

I am digging the Editors...Their album just got released in the states March 21. I just got home from a great show and am really pleased I went. Stellastarr* is touring with them, so the combo was great.
I officially feel old, however by leaving after 6 songs from Stellastarr* but at least I wasn't chilling with a bunch of preteens like the time I went to a Death Cab for Cutie show.

So look out for the Editors. The lead singer is a trip on stage, btw. I wonder if he cuts himself when he's alone. He wacked himself in the head a couple times and jumped around the stage like a monkey, but he was great and it was obvious he was into it. They are being compared to Echo and the Bunnymen, Joy Division, the Smiths, Interpol, etc. However, I'd pick the Editors hands down (live) compared to Interpol...anyone else ever see them live? Then you know what I'm talking about.

How to briefly update the last week or so...I am planning on quiting the "new bar." It sucks. Not only is it in a shitty location for the weekends, but the schedule is not what I was promised. Gotta love bosses who tell you to give away drinks and ask you to drink on your shift...but that means they are compensating for something, doesn't it? Eh' it was worth a shot, but I need a tad bit more consistency. So....I'm out soon.

My parents are coming to visit! Super stoked about that. I get to be the honorary dog sitter too when they go to India (for a month!) Jake is awesome...I'm the first to admit, I was bitter when the fam got a new puppy a few years ago...but man, he bonded with Chip and is unbelievably fun. So I'm thrilled. It gives me another reason to quit the new bar too!

A bum came into the office today like he owned the place and asked to use our telephone. I came into work and he was sitting at my desk on the phone, writing on my post it notes. It's too bad I couldn't get him to stay and work for me today, now that would have been sweet.

86 Razor

2006-03-17T13:11:00.000-05:00

86 Razor
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I have to say, I was not prepared for the demise of my phone. After getting the message, "Insert SIM" for 2 days and despite all attempts to revive my POS, Cingular reps told me my phone was lost. I had every intention of walking into the store and getting a new SIM card and having that be the end of my worries/start of the hassle of trying to find phone numbers...So I was a bit miffed when I was told the phone was jacked and I'd need to get another one.

Long story short. I almost cried. I paid for upgraded shipping and was told I'd get the phone on Monday. Bah!

God or the lepprechauns (?) smiled down on me when I got a fed ex delivery at work today...my new phone! Wow! So it's charging and I am hoping I am not jinxing myself by talking abt my good fortune. In abt 10 hours I'll know if I have a phone.
Yay.

Other than that, my bosses started drinking Guinness at 10:30am. I am looking forward to one soon. Happy St. Pat's!

Makers Mark is the Devil

2006-03-16T10:25:00.000-05:00

I am truly amazed at the power of Makers Mark. I don't think my body can take any more of that devil juice.

I managed to give myself an amazing hangover. The show last night was good, the opener made me feel like I was on the love boat watching the worst lounge act in history, on acid. It was hilarious.

Thank you Bree for the head's up on the show. It was a lot of fun. The after party at the new bar on 14th st was not such a good idea...but that was fun too.

I don't know if it was spillage, but my SIM card is about as worthless as I feel today. It's dead in the water and I have no numbers saved anywhere. So this a request to have everyone I know to email me/call me and fill me in on your digits. Gotta love Cingular.

Beattie is Back!

2006-03-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

Going to see the National tonight at the Black Cat. They're a pretty good band, so I'm looking forward to it. Any other band ideas out there? Let me know...I'm looking forward to seeing the Sounds, maybe the Stills...they're in Baltimore..., Stellastar w/ the Editors, and...

With that said, St. Pat's is 2 days away....lovely. I am breaking the trend and trying to avoid the masses of drunk, green people this year. Let's see if I'm successful. True alcoholics drink like fishes every day of the year, not just on St. Patrick's Day. So there.

Let me give a shout out to my pal, Omar for fixing my blog. Yay! Thanks, O.

In other news, we got a new account at work...I can't remember if I mentioned this in past entries...but it's pretty damn exciting. And we got an offer to bid on another contract in New York, which I am crossing my fingers and knocking on wood about. How sweet would it be to work in the big city to open another account...cool.
So, with the new account opening up my bosses are always MIA...leaving me to fend for myself. This means I get some work done, am not afraid of going #2, sing or blast music, write emails, blog, and complete monster sudoku puzzles. I am pretty much worthless, in a sense.

Did anyone else get hit with the water outage this week? I was out all day...and no info was available anywhere...radio, tv, websites...so I called a news station and this dude panicked and said we'd be out of water for an indefinite amount of time since the water main break was HUGE and that we may even be told to evacuate if the problem wasn't fixed that day....um. Yikes. So I went on a mission for water. I had to go all the way to Springfield for it and got 6 2.5 gallon pour-spout jugs of the stuff....to return in the evening to an apt with water...while that's great, I have jugs of it in my car, and in my house. Here's to hydration!

Film School Officially Hates Philadelphia

2006-03-09T10:12:00.000-05:00

Although about 8 people decided they had better things to do than go see this awesome band with me...I was super psyched to see Film School come out and play at the Black Cat.

Thank God for slackers at work, or I would have shown up there and gotten really confused at the fact that they never got on stage. Thanks, O for surfing the net all day and keeping me informed.

Apparently some jackasses in Philly stole the band's van...with all of their equipment. And either the other two bands on tour with them didn't want them to borrow their equipment, or the band wanted to get the hell off the East Coast. I wonder why they left the van unattended...doing lines with hookers? Experiencing the wonders of Philly? Who knows...but I hope they get their stuff back and whoever took it is going to reap one helluva lot of karma. How much does a band get when tickets are $15 and there are three bands? I hope the 3 bucks and change of my tickets goes to the boys of Film School even though they didn't get to play. God knows not having that equipment is going to set them back...fucking Philly.

BRMC...best...band...ever.

2006-02-22T12:34:00.000-05:00

BRMC
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I am in love with a band. Its name is the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
I had the best time on Mon night. They are unbelievable live and I will sing their praises until someone clubs me on the back of the head.
I saw them in September and I think they only got better. So good.
With that said, I can't wait until they come back.

My buddies from college are back! Again, so good. These are boys I skipped classes with, drank rail shots with, passed out with, got busted by the cops with...actually, I think I watched as they did. And all for juvenile stunts...it makes me want to never grow up.
So, cheers to Jimmy, Dave, and the rest of the crew. Thanks for ditching the desert and coming back home, where you belong.

In grown up life, my company just scored another high profile client and we are super psyched! Can't wait until that all starts. Too bad it's not in an outlaying city, (like our Philly acct.) It'd be cool to go on some more business trips.

I made absolutely nothing last night at the Murph. That place is bumming me out this week. But after tonight's slavery I will be done til Sat. I will drink w/ my boys and laze around enjoying life. Fun times.

To my Angel with Four Legs

2006-02-17T09:08:00.000-05:00

My dog was unbelievable. I became one of those obsessed people that always talks about them, takes them everywhere, takes pictures constantly, and talks about them like they are their best friend. She was the best of best friends. No back talk. Always there. Therapy wrapped up in fur.

My dog loved water, but hated baths. Apparently adding soap and warm water was foul play.

My dog loved anything that had to do with water outside. Swimming (she had her own pool), drinking from the hose, running through the sprinkler. She'd bark at the water if it was jet setting, like it was out to get her.

My dog loved being outside. Frisbees, tennis balls, even when we played basketball, she jumped in. She got in trouble digging in any season but winter and went nuts with the snow.

My dog loved to go for rides. As soon as there was a jingle of the keys she was out. She'd put her head out the window and her ears would flap. Just like in the movies.

My dog loved suckers. Dum Dums and twizzlers were her favorite. I have no clue how she had her first one, but it involved me laying on the ground eating candy (cause I'm a fat ass) and she came up and nudged me with her head. Her nose was right on me and I gave her the sucker and the rest is history. It's like the tootsie pop commercials. 2 licks and a chomp was all it took. Then she'd be gentle and lick the stick.

My dog once ate a 2 pound raw meatloaf that my mom left in the kitchen for 5 seconds.

My dog used to sleep under the footstool when she was a puppy. She'd graduate to sleeping behind our couch (and the wall) and under beds and desks.

My dog would come when she was called, but she'd do it when she wanted. We'd know she heard us because her tail would thump when we said her name.

My dog had the happiest tail I have ever seen. I think she was pretty damn happy.

My dog would scare random people and win them over in a matter of seconds. Neighbor kids came over to play with her all the time and I'd get jealous.

My dog was scared of the ironing board.

My dog shook hands both ways and knew the difference.

My dog waited for us every day after school at the front door. We could hear her barking a block away.

My dog slept on my bed every night. It was a twin and she was 65 pounds. I loved it. She'd lick my feet if they were out of the covers.

My dog became best buds and trained our new puppy. He did everything she did.

My dog was the best at playing keep away. We teased her once and the rest is history.

My dog was a shadow to everyone when she wanted to be. She coined the name Ice princess, because she was a love on her terms, and bitchy as hell when she wanted. It was great. If only she could talk.

My dog liked having her leg scratched in one spot the best. She'd stretch it out for you if you got the right spot and that tail would thump. She hated it when you touched her paws.

My dog had the softest ears. The hair on her paws was just as soft, but forbidden territory unless she was sleeping.

My dog went to bed last and got up first. She waited until we were all home before she came and slept on my feet. She scratched at the door when she knew my dad was getting up for work.

My dog stayed with me all day and all night after I was held up. She was the best therapy I have ever seen. When we cried, she was there and stopped being an ice queen. When we were happy and laughing her tail would wag like you wouldn't believe.

My dog sat in the kitchen for hours every Thanksgiving/Christmas while my mom and dad cooked. She knew it was her day too if she waited long enough.

My dog was almost 12 years old and everyone in the family called her a puppy.

My dog was the best thing to happen to our family and she died yesterday.

I wasn't going to talk about her on my stupid blog. But honestly, talking about all of the things I love about my baby seems like the only thing I can do to show I love her. God truly blessed our home when we got Chip and I am so happy to know she had the best life a dog could get and that she changed us all for the better.

It's a Bright, Sunshiny Day

2006-02-15T09:31:00.000-05:00

It's a bright, sunshiny day.
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

In the spirit of actually doing what I promise...I'm blogging again. That's 2 in 2 days. So don't really expect anything for a good month or so. And if you do get anything it's like finding a beer at the back of the fridge when you think you're all out. Enjoy.
My night last night rocked. I dealt with the typical military type that call you babe and try to touch you whenever possible, all while giving you 10%. I also got candy, chocolates, roses, and admiration, from all of my gentlemen friends. Pfff. I did get shot down by my gbf on Valentine's day. That was fun. But it was a shot down for a group get together that I mentioned when I was trashed, so I think I will survive. The highlight (Which actually made me ill)of my day was our day time busboy who goes around talking gibberish all day (The entire kitchen doesn't know what he's saying when he speaks Spanish...and we don't understand his English, so he pretty much gets nowhere.) got blitzed and totally puked all over the floor at the end of the bar. And no one did anything about it. Damn right! It's Valentine's Day, let's get crazy.

My Favorite Holiday is upon Us!!!!

2006-02-14T15:31:00.000-05:00

VD
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I LOVE Valentine's Day. It is the one day (besides Christmas) that I can dress up all in red and only eat heart shaped objects. Unless it's chocolate. It's also the day where every man in my life has to give me a present or I can hold it over their head for a whole year.
I LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
With that said, I am working both jobs today and told about 4 of my male coworkers that they had to buy me presents today. We'll see how that pans out.
I have been out of the loop a very long time. I know. Shoot me. I know I wasn't missed all that much, despite a bunch of people repetitively telling me to, "update your blog, b*@$#!" I know...I know.
Here is a very brief rundown of what has been happening in my life:
-------------------
-------------------
-------------------
Got it? In case you missed it, jack shit.
I have been busy working both jobs and drinking way too heavily in the down time.
I solemnly swear to blog more frequently. Hope that makes my 3 readers happy. Upcoming things for me to write home about:
*My favorite dog in the world's triumphant return from a land of IVs and dehydration.
*Amazing concerts coming up (Elefant, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the Subways, the National, and hopefully more.)
*My ongoing relationship with a drunk.

Till then, I'm going to go see if anyone left me a valentine at home/on my car/at work.

Beattie!

2006-01-13T11:48:00.000-05:00

Beattie!
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I know, I know. I have a lot of catching up to do. Wisconsin was grand, I will most likely never go back to Tennessee, and I feel like I live in the tropics with the weather we are having now that I am back in DC.
Random things that happened on my various trips this holiday:
*Air mattresses suck, no matter how cool your host says they are...and in my case, it was my mom, so who am I to argue...but man, it was god aweful.
*I love my dogs. I want to take them back with me and we can live together happily ever after.
*My parents are morphing into god aweful drivers...I feared for my life on more than one occasion and I think we are even now and I no longer deserve the, "I remember when I tought you to drive..." comments from the peanut gallery.
*Small Christmas trees just aren't the same as the big family tree you have growing up...and some ornaments really do need to be thrown out. Like the bagel santa you made in 2nd grade that looks the same now that you are 26, or the picture of you in brownies...chuck em already.
*Family parties really are a lot better when there is drinking involved. And Wisconsin has some interesting premixed concoctions that are "cool" to everyone but me...my favorite one is "Hot Sex," A mudslide with fake Frangelico added...
*Beatties should not buy stuff online. Because it's going to get messed up. Maybe that's only if you are a Beattie.
*Brothers will fight, give each other purple nurples, fart on each other, and cause a scene no matter how old they are...Doug and Donny are 24 and 20 and are still acting younger than the 4 and 6 year olds we had at the family party...it was great. My dad and uncle still fight out in public and they are 56 and 58...nice.
*Tennessee BLOWS. It may be music city. It may have the biggest, overdone hotel in the history of hotels (Gaylord Opryland?) and it may have a huge slew of Waffle Huts, but I will never be back. Although seeing my brother (#27) and meeting the coach and other players wat the Bowl was so cool. I hope Dah' keeps it up and sticks with it next year, it was a lot of fun.
*My dad has OCD...and it's getting worse...and I know it's going to hit me down the road, so I may as well stop drinking coffee so I don't check to see that it's unplugged 5 times when I leave the house, and stop lockign the door altogether so I don't have to check it 5 times before Ileave the house, etc. It's nuts!
*It's not a good idea to drink during a 4 hour delay in Tennessee...the flight attendants are grumpy too and appear to like threats. It was like Anger Management all over trying to get home to DC. I will never fly US Air again...they can go down in a blaze of glory without me.
And that's all I have about my travels. It feels good to be home.

Talk About Drunk A-holes.

2005-12-19T10:50:00.000-05:00

drunk
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I am still drunk. And a tad bit embarassed because I just found out first hand why it is unwise to drink in front of your bosses. And why it is unwise to hit up 2 work Christmas parties in a row. Especially when it's free booze.
I danced last night. I never dance. I never dance because the only time I brave the dance floor is when I am too drunk to legally stand on my own. But I think I tried to drop it last night...with one of my bosses. So humiliating. I then proceeded to drink carbombs and shots of Jameson (aparently with anyone that asked me...and I think a lot of people asked me based on the fact that I was the drunk asshole last night.)
And I still got to work 20 minutes early, which I never do.
I am too old to act like an idiot.
But I had fun. Thanks for taking care of me, Katie. Sort of. Oh, and sorry for yelling at you. I probably said I love you right after it and then I probably cried. I don't remember.

RIP Patriot Act

2005-12-16T16:20:00.000-05:00

86PatriotAct
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Ah, finally some good news regarding the infamous Patriot Act...most parts of it will be d-e-d in 2006 since our lovely Senate said, "NO!" to it's renewal. It's nice to know that some members of the government feel they can learn from their mistakes, huh?

In other news, I know I haven't blogged in awhile. Sorry. I have lots of mini inspirations randomly throughout the day, but the last place I want to be when I get home is my computer, so most of them get lost. Especially after I have a few drinks. And I feel bad blogging at work, because I always get caught when I do anything deviant...always. And sometimes I call myself out...like after a few glasses of wine. So I really need to be good about this, or I'll end up telling my bosses how much I love them, and that I sometimes blog ("Joy, what's a blog? what do you mean?") at work, and that sometimes I call the cable company to yell at them, and sometimes I do So-du-ku puzzles, and sometimes I write long and massive emails to my friends that aren't work related, and sometimes I pay bills online, and sometimes I make personal calls on their phones, and sometimes I drink on the job.
So, you know it's just not a good place to blog. So you are all just going to have to wait.
And I know you are just sitting there waiting.
I have lots of iddy bitty random things that have happened to me that I will write about soon. Including pictures. Tonight's drinking will be: in cheers to the death of the Patriot Act.

Dandy Warhols Must Be Fried

2005-11-30T09:31:00.000-05:00

Dandy Warhols
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I saw the Dandy Warhols at my favorite venue recently and they put on a good show. It was an interesting mix of crowd folk and a lot of them were tripping and high. Fun times. I don't think we were having quite as much fun as they were, but it was a cool show nonetheless. Especially with the hefty Maker's Mark and the trippy background "movies" that went with the show.

Moving on, my apartment has no heat! It's a good thing it's freakishly warm this week, but here's to hoping my slum lord fixes the problem before the next cold spurt.

I am going home soon!!! I can't wait. It's the first Christmas, well, visit really, since my parents sold the house...it will be weird. I think we are going to try to cram into a 2 bedroom apt. for the holidays...with two dogs. That'll be fun. I hope they get a Christmas tree that's more than 2 feet tall and requires lights (as opposed to the frosted white and pink trailer trees.) I am all growed up and renting a car too! I think I'll wind up with a Kia or Neon based on the fact that I went all out for the cheapest option possible.
That just adds to the charm of being in Wisconsin.

I'm still digging the job. And working hard at it this week. We have a big proposal due Monday and I'm pulling OT. Which is nice! I have no bitter waitress rants (Shocker!) and will post more after I see another good show tonight...this time it's Summerbirds at the Velvet Lounge...I'm slumming it with the venue hop (Thank god, cause the tickets are only 6 whopping bucks!) That just means I have about $20 more than normal to spend drinkin! Cheers.

Beattie Stumbles upon the Next Best Thing Since Diet Coke

2005-11-18T15:36:00.000-05:00

Yum!
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

You've gotta love Friday. Especially when everyone and their mother takes the day off, except you. What's up with all my friends not working on Fridays and Mondays? And why can't I get paid to not come into work. I'm a little jealous.
Especially when it's a big surprise to me when I get to work and no one replies to my emails (Because they are partying early at home...assholes.)It's enough to make a girl cry.

Walking to work today I made a pit stop for breakfast and bought a diet coke for later (...For my lunch of popcorn and diet soda. Yum. I finished it off with roughly 20 snack sized m&ms from Halloween.) So I am thinking that the bottle looks funny ... different packaging, etc. I'm not all that good with change. Unless I win a free soda/vacation/fake tattoo. Speaking of that, remember growing up when 1 in 6 (SIX!) won a free soda? Now it's 1 in 12. What gives?

So, This is the longest ramble ever, but I'm getting to the fact that Coca Cola started making Diet Coke with Splenda. Yay. I don't normally like Splenda...and I almost put the soda back and got regular Diet Coke, but man am I glad I didn't. It's mighty fine for a diet soda. It almost tastes regular. So there you go. That was honestly the most exciting part of my day. Besides the m&ms.

I am all alone in my office and got into a fight with the dude upstairs (in a different office.) That was fun. I also got all my work done super early and had nothing to do for about 2 hours...When I ate popcorn and gave myself a manicure. I'm basically counting down til I end up drunk before and after "Walk the Line" tonight in Georgetown. You're in for a treat, L & K. I'm cabbing it and planning on taking 'responsible drinking and driving' to a whole new level tonight.

Thanks, Coca Cola! (I almost wrote you a letter, but this is as far as I'm going with my gratitude.)

You Need a COCKtail.

2005-11-11T09:58:00.000-05:00

Cocktail!
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Ah, gotta love drunk assholes. Drunk, stupid assholes.
We were busy last night, which was a very nice change as a high headcount lines my wallet. We were blessed (cough) with a bunch of hoity toities last night who appeared to be mentally challenged. At one point a group of 7 tried to sit at a two-top. For those of you that aren't in the know on two-tops. They seat TWO people. You'd think the big tip off to this bright group would be the tiny ass table and two chairs. But no! That did not deter them from trying to squeeze their butts inbetween surrounding tables and move chairs all over the place to get their party cozy at the two-top. (Keep in mind, the whole place was full of nutzos doing the same thing...)
I moved them when a larger table (for 5) became available. And for the rest of the night they stood in the aisle and got in my way. They also doubled in size. Telling 14 people to move every time you want to walk through the restaurant with your arms full of drinks/glasses/plates gets a little old. And I stopped smiling and saying excuse me every time I tried to get past. I soon resorted to poking shoulders and lightly pushing my way through. Comments started flying about how I was rude, etc. At one point this dude was like, "If she grabs me one more time..." (I never grabbed, but man, maybe I should if that's how they view it...) Keep in mind I am one person away when I hear this. And it's a sausage fest, so it's obviously me they are talking about. All I have to turn around and I'm in his face...and I ask if he has a problem. Yes he does. Ok, well, considering before you planted yourself here, in the aisle, I told you all to have a seat and that we needed to keep this area clear. Not only is it a fire hazard, but we need to work. And customers are trying to get through as well. No comment. So maybe you had better just sit down.
I hear through the other servers that they said I was mean and needed a COCKtail.
Nice...
:)
I haven't posted a bitter waitress rant in awhile, so here it is. But it made my night to find out they were neurosurgeons.

I hope I never develop a brain tumor.

It's all Downhill from Here.

2005-11-07T09:32:00.000-05:00

Birthday!
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I am officially one year older. Blah.
Thanks to Chris, I am now in the know about the fact that I am in my late twenties. Bastard.
It's all I can think about when I think about my birthday. What a wonderful feeling.
Aside from working yesterday, my birthday wasn't all that bad. Thanks for a lovely dinner, K. Although the morning was a bit shady. It was a struggle making it to work today. But I am here and blogging, so I am as efficient as ever.
I have a stack of birthday cards in my bag I have to open and a new camera yet to buy. I think I am going to make this a birthday week and do a little bit at a time.
Philadelphia was so much fun.
I want to go back and help really bad, but am stuck in DC this week.
I worked hard every day, but got to have dinner and drinks and chill with my bosses every night, which was really fun. I witnessed the SEPTA strike first hand...not so fun. Especially on my train home, what a mad house!
Philly has some cool restaurants and bars, and the shopping is pretty cool too. It's like Georgetown all over actually. Although the ghetto is definitely G-H-E-T-T-O. One restaurant we went to was awesome...a bit like Two Amys. We had great food and it was BYOB!
Couldn't believe it. So we hoofed it across the street and bought a ton of beer and drank it in the restaurant. So weird...they had to have a license for BYOB, so why not go all the way and have liquor/beer available? And it was cash only...heh. Fun times.
And with that lovely story, this old lady is going to get back to work.

And Hear's to Hoping Philly is Better than Baltimore

2005-10-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

Philly
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Ah Philadelphia...it has to be better than my last road trip (Baltimore...for those of you that didn't get the hint with the title.)
I am going on my first official business trip. I am very, very excited. I am staying through Wednesday and am more than eager to get out of DC for awhile. I was supposed to leave tonight, but as I am co-chair for Fely's belly bash I opted to go up on Sunday instead. My delight at taking a trip may be deminished as soon as I step off the train, however. I'm crossing my fingers I don't get as sick as I was last time I ventured out on Amtrak. Although the trip was longer (NYC) and I downed about 4 double (tall) 7&7s at the Dubliner before I took off...at 3am for a weekend on the town in the big city. Man, what a bad idea. I swore off trains ever since, but was too ashamed to say anything when my bosses said we were all hoppin on the Amtrak to get to Philly. I'll try to stay sober Sunday morning and see what happens.
I plan on seeing hip bars, and may start my birthday celebration a week early since I have no clue what's going on when I get back. I wonder what Halloween's like out in Center City. I'll be smack dab in the middle of the fun, so we'll see. I'm not doing the Rocky stair thing, Katie. But I'll bring you a Philly Cheesesteak and force you to eat it. =)
While I am semi on the Halloween topic, the bar is totally decked out in "cheer." I've never seen more effort get put into decorating the place. It's sorta funny since it's normally really, really depressing without effort. If only that much thought went into it the rest of the year, it may look respectable...but I like the cobwebs and curtains...heh. Someone has to take pictures so I can see what everyone dresses up as. The new boy, Jeff, is apparently dressing up as a french maid. And Karen may stop by in a Ketchup bottle costume. Exciting times.

The Bravery was the Only Good Thing in Baltimore...

2005-10-25T11:25:00.000-05:00

The Bravery
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Ah, The Bravery. I think everyone knows about my love for the band. I am so excited I got a chance to see them again. Only this time...it was in Baltimore. I can't lie, I have had my share of fun in Baltimore...but this trip included a whole lot more.
According to Sonar's website, The Bravery was scheduled to go on at 8pm. It was also the only band listed to play the venue that night. So, I picked up Kdogg and we ran our asses to Baltimore in the rain at a good 35 miles per hour since no one knows how to drive here.
We surprisingly get there around quarter to the magic hour to see people waiting to get in. So we figure it's safe to go look for some food since we didn't eat before we left civilization. Bad move. We found everything but food. All Katie wanted was taco bell and all we found was Baltimore's red light district and a whole bunch of nothing. Except for a mecca in the rain boasting "PIZZA!!!" Yeah. So we park and run in to see that it said Piaza (?) and was in fact a deli run by the slowest bunch of retards on the planet. Although we fit right in since apparently we couldn't read (granted it was pouring and it was the smallest etched sign on the planet(on a glass door). Ah, we're still challenged. We make it to the show to get a great spot in the first row at the edge of the stage. Get a beer and notice a lot of young wannabe hipsters and a lot of old looking parents...nice. Then to our surprise a strange "glam" garage band starts to play...hmmm. No biggie. The stage is set up to reveal a really grungy band sporting a lead singer that didn't wear underwear (first row...we could tell). At this point I am drinking heavier than I had planned. Is this a joke? Did the venue put up posters and advertise The Bravery to get people in the door? Good god. The band went on at 11. Finally. Then the crazed girls came out of the woodwork and the show went on.
Sam E. is a cutie, the rest of the band is too, and they were amazing. Mike and Sam both jumped into the crowd and got partially molested and a fan did a stage dive and didn't get caught. We were so close! It ended up being a great show, despite the setbacks in Baltimore. It is now Katie's favorite city of all time.
Go Baltimore!
Oh, and I may be the last to know (it's been known to happen...) but did anyone know about the feud between The Bravery and The Killers? About talent and past jobs? Funny stuff. The lead singer of the Killers said The Bravery sucked and got big based on The Killers' success...and that Sam Endicott sucks cause he used to be in a ska band...(While Brandan Flowers used to be a bellhop in Vegas...nice) and one of the bandmembers in The Killers also used to be in a ska band. So words have been had back and forth and the media jumped on the bandwagon taking opposing sides. I find it funny. I think pretty much all bands have had a shitty first or second one to add to their list. And the bands are on the same label and The Bravery got a handme down bus that The Killers used to drive around in. Heh. I hope they upgraded for sake of the feud. I love how drama transcends into every industry. (My pick is The Bravery...obviously.)

U2 Rocks!

2005-10-21T13:53:00.000-05:00

U2 Rocks!
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

In a landslide victory, I won over the man to go see U2 last night! Actually the man helped me out when I was at the end of my rope. It was such a great show and I'm so unbelievably happy I got to go.
I got tickets (from my very generous boss) way last minute and tried to no avail to get off work at the bar. Sigh. I called everyone and their mother and got the go ahead from our GM (THANK YOU) 4 hours before show time. I was so happy. I probably got three gray hairs trying to work everything out. I guess I could have just lied to everyone and said I was sick. But Mama raised me better. Although my parents both told me I was an idiot to have told them about the concert at all. "Just call out sick!" Fun stuff. Thanks, guys. The show kicked some serious ass. We went out for drinks earlier (and after) and had a brilliant time. I am still sort of spinning over the fact I got to go. From the get go I was sitting on the sidelines all up in smoke about the price and unavailability of tickets. I guess I won the lottery for a day.

In other news. I am eating a salad with raw mushrooms (as opposed to cooked...in a salad.) and it blows. I'm not a big fan of the raw mushrooms.

In about 3 hours I will be on the road to go see The Bravery with my band BFF. I can technically be called a groupie as this is the second time I've seen them and I am taking a veri-mini road trip to do so.
I'm excited!

Feminists and Ironing, What a Great Combination!

2005-10-20T08:59:00.000-05:00

Feminists
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I got this picture emailed to me by one of my bosses. How funny is that? I can't wait for the Bravery on Friday. My pink eye (It's not really pink eye, so you don't have to avoid me.) has subsided a bit. I have worn my glasses for two days :( and the redness is gone, but the soreness remains. We'll see.

No other exciting news so I'm going to go back to work. I'm still waiting to see how much I won in the lottery.

They better not kill off Sawyer in three (!) weeks on Lost. Or else. I like how they introduce new cast members...when the premise is being stuck on a desert island. Great writing. Let's just say the island is huge and they haven't crossed paths...M'kay? They're going to kill off one of the newbies, which is the only reason they put them on the show in the first place. They better. Or else.

Just Say No to Pink Eye!

2005-10-18T14:04:00.000-05:00

Ough, my eye is lighting up like Rudolph's nose...I don't think I have pink eye, but man it's red and hurts. I keep rubbin it and squeezing my eyeball to relieve pressure...I think I'm just poppin' more veins. Who knows, but I am getting a headache in my eyeball. Fun stuff.
Other than that, it's so beautiful in the big VA. I am digging this fall weather. I ran some errands at work today and ended up not wanting to go back...which is where I am right now, being all productive.
My bosses went to Philly Monday...and left me here by myself. Nice. Although no post it notes or memos anywhere about where they were and that they weren't going to be in the office. And I don't have a key. The place was open and all lit up with no one in it. I was waiting for someone to round the corner and yell surprise at one point. No dice. I finally figured out what was going on about two hours into work and it's been peaches ever since. I like having the place to myself. I can use the bathroom, play my music loud, drink, you know. It's a regular party.
Speaking of, Fely's baby shower! It's going to be fun. I am getting the buying for kids thing out of my system and taking the best of both worlds - I stay unpreggo and get to buy cool stuff for a kid that I will have nothing to do with. Awesome.
I finally found a good recipe for lemonade. Now I just need to know what to spike it with. Katie, what about doing a couple different liquor options? Not like sangria, but leaving it virgin and mixing with whatever you want? I'll keep investigating.
It's going to be lovely.
I think Fely should name the baby Joy Katherine Garcia (?) or Katherine Joy...yeah, that's beautiful.
I bought tix to the Bravery for Fri. Baltimore is going to be a blast. I can't wait to see my favorite band. Ah....
All I can think of doing now is relaxing on our balcony with a book for the next hour...heh. We'll see.

Beattie Awakes from Her Coma

2005-10-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

I am alive. Sort of. I know it's been a good stretch of time since I've posted, and you have missed out on so much fun.
I feel like I have to lie and make up a million good stories since it's been so long. I didn't know so many people were bored at work and looked me up. I am caving and posting at work. This may become a regular occurance.
I still love my job. And I am talking about the day job, not the bar (to one of my coworkers that thought I was a freak of nature to love a bar so much.) Bree are you a coworker? We worked together like 3 times...and is that how you spell Bree? And do you even read this anymore or did you give up since I never post?
We'll see.
What has happened in my life:
I moved! I am now living solo in a fly ghetto apartment in the State for Lovers...how much gayer can you get with state slogans...really. I love the place.
I bought new furniture (It looks good, albeit a tad bit cramped.)
My electricity goes out whenever I microwave anything or blow my hair dry (Hence the ghetto comment)
I now have a brand new tv all to myself. (Inherited, sorta new...with surround sound to boot, even though the place is way too small to utilize it...when I turn all that stuff on the apartment shakes...)
More on the apartment to come, but I like it a lot.
Do my roommates miss me yet? I bet they thank God before turning in at night that they are rid of me.
What else....I am still working like a fiend, but have had the last two nights off (I only had to work at the day job) and have found it to be a very fun ride. Not only did I spend a shitload of money (which is why I need a second job to keep me busy and rich) but I relaxed, unpacked a few more random boxes I just should have thrown out...and went shoppin'. My hair now resembles one of the original Beatles, so if any of you call me mop head I may punch you, but it's deserved. I also got bangs. (!) I haven't had bangs since I was like 5 years old. But it's definitely a change, which is what I wanted. We'll see how much I love it when it starts growing out (in a year) and the bangs look like ass.
Are you all excited I am updating still? This is some exciting stuff. I'm getting bored talking about myself. How bad is that?
I had 2 relationships since my whole vacation from posting my life on the Internet. Well...maybe not full blown relationships, but they both involved the opposite sex and are now d-e-d. And thank God for that. I get smothered and complain too much to make anything work.
I've been to a bunch of great shows...My Morning Jacket, Kaiser Chiefs (old), Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (LOVE them), and more. I am bitter that my bff doesn't want to go to see the Foo Fighters Sunday. I will pay her back. Most likely by peeing on her couch after she gets it cleaned and blaming it on her dogs.
(If you notice a wet spot, you will now always think of me...great.)
My car died in the city, I left it there all weekend. It was like missing my right arm. Or maybe just my right thumb...but it was aweful not having it. I got it back. I am happy now driving everywhere and hurting the environment and my wallet.
My brother just turned 20. WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO. That is seriously like the worst age to turn. No longer a teenager, not quite legal. It's a good thing he drinks anyway wherever he goes cause he plays football and isn't ugly. If that were the case, he'd be screwed. Happy Birthday, Donny. You better utilize the shot glasses I sent, or else! I still have your birthday card. I'll sit on it another month and send it out. You better get me something grand for my birthday. Hit dad up for some dough. (Nov. is coming up! You best not forget it...but I'll give you the whole month as a grace period to get me something nice)
I think that is as much of an update as I am willing to give at this point. I'll be more consistent. I promise.

Proof I'm Not Lying

2005-09-06T23:39:00.000-05:00

Borf Bridge
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

And I thought I was Always the Last to Know...

2005-09-06T23:21:00.000-05:00

Borf
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Anyone that drove across Roosevelt Bridge a little while back had to have seen those mischevous eyes on the "Connecticut Ave" sign over the bridge into the District. I loved seeing that on the way to work. Trying to figure out who it was. Wondering how the hell the street artist got up there and did his business without getting busted. Or killed. Everything about it was awesome. And then it got buffed after a few weeks of taunting.

Cut to last night as I was wrapping some of my breakables (packing to move into my new place!) with the Washington Post...and saw the eyes looking up at me. The artist's name is Borf. And he got busted (on the street, not high up on scaffolding.) The kid is only 18 and appartently has been having a helluva time tagging everything from signs, to mailboxes, garbage cans, and 15 foot walls in Dupont. He's made it as far west as San Fran and up to NYC with his art. And he got busted. Turns out Borf is a nickname he took on after his friend (the original Borf) killed himself. Rough.
So, this kid is more than a vandalizer. He's got a story. And a lot of his stuff is pretty cool. So, I hereby vow to read the paper next time, before I tear it up to use as wrapping paper.

Who Knew the Working World Could be Fun?

2005-08-26T00:29:00.000-05:00

I officially love my job. My bosses. The money. All of it. Well, the money could always be better...:) And it would be nice to get paid for doing nothing. But other than that, I love it.
I just worked 13 hours...and it sorta flew by...and then I had drinks with my bosses. They paid. I really like them, and I just wanted to say it.
Other than that, they aren't just handing me money. I AM working for it...and need to be there in 7 hours...so I'm going to hit the hay.
But it rocks!

Dumbass Needs Mechanical Arms

2005-08-24T21:18:00.000-05:00

dumbass
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I burned the fuck out of my hand a few minutes ago. AHHHHHHHHH! I have an ice cream headache in the unburned portion (it's sitting on a ziplock full of ice) and the rest hurts when I take it off the ice, and pretty much when it's not numb.
How did this happen, you ask? Oh, you don't really have to ask, I do dumb stuff all the time...but in this instance...
I worked over 12 hours today and picked up dinner on the way home. The nice bartender/manager gave me someone else's order too because the people never picked it up. Sweet. Free food. So I gave it to my bosses and kept a cup of soup for me. DUMBASS. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Not only did I spill half of the rest of the stuff when getting it out of containers (there were like 5 of them...all the little sauces were packed separately...that's so dangerous for me. I need to keep all liquids except for booze away.), but I also spilled half the flimsy cup of soup all over me when getting it out of the microwave. OUGH. So when bad guys get hot liquids dumped on them in fight scenes, I now know why they scream like pansies. Although I think I grunted. Maybe twice. I also immediately looked down at my shirt that was covered in what looked like puke, but was really corn and crab chowder. Nice. All over my shaking hand, the counter, oven, microwave, floor, and my shirt.
So...doing laundry, frostbiting my arm/hand, and hating soup.
Don't ever take free food when it's offered to you!
But it was still a nice gesture...I just managed to Beattie it.

RIP to the Fishers...

2005-08-23T23:47:00.000-05:00

Nate!
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

My favorite show is dead and gone. I love Six Feet Under...what a great show. I cried shamelessly when Nate died...and good lord, did the finale take away all hope of the show coming back...ever. When Nate got sick a few seasons ago (and died the first time) I foretold that the show would end with everyone dying...I should move to Hollywood and harrass Alan Ball about his next project. I could write for TV...I'm so cool (gag).
I have yet to pack anything...I really need to get on that. I think I am going to throw away anything that I haven't used or looked at since I moved into this place...No need to keep lugging boxes around with me from place to place...but really, do I donate that stuff? Random candle holders, knick knacks from when I was a kid...I really don't know if Goodwill wants my colored pencils that I used once, or my Biology book from college. What do I do with that stuff, man?
I am also getting all too familiar with my desk job. I have been starting to fall asleep while awake in the office. I need to walk around every 30 minutes and get another cup of coffee or I would actually fall asleep. Kind of a pain in the ass. A couple times I tried to do the crossword in the paper, but when I hear footsteps I freak out and hide it in my desk...so I don't get much accomplished. One of my bosses brought in a shitload of Redbull today, so I am jumping on the crack bus. I hate the stuff, but man was I jumpy the rest of the day. I almost Beattie'd the project I was working on. It's hard to have a steady hand after 5 cups of coffee and a Redbull. Aside from falling asleep, the job's cool. I'm helping put together a proposal for a contract in Philadelphia. Fun stuff. Anyone want a weedwacker? How about two couch covers? Help me move!

Getting Screwed can Sometimes Be a Surprise

2005-08-18T21:36:00.000-05:00

Getting Screwed
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

So...I'm driving to work and I hear a little pop and something hits my foot. I kinda freak out, but get to the parking garage and scrounge around on the floor and find a new looking, black screw/bolt...With a washer too. And it's not dirty or old looking and I have no clue where it came from, except that it can't be a good thing that it fell on my foot while driving.
So...do I take my car in some place? Show them the screw and ask where it came from? I'm a tiny bit confused. Normally I like getting screwed, but hey. Not if it affects my beautiful car...damn. Speaking of screwed, the hickey is gone, my friends...I am so glad my bosses went to Philly this week and I had the office to myself while my pasty Irish skin returned to me. I kinda liked being alone in the office. I listened to music all day, sang out loud a little bit...and even used the pooper (cause no one would know it was me, yay!)
Isn't that an amazing amount of fun going on in my life? It's rockin. I am nervous/excited about moving. My lazy ass still has yet to pack anything or clean my current apartment...I should probably get crackin.

Time to Shell out the Dough for a Remote Control...

2005-08-03T00:19:00.000-05:00

So, I don't have a remote control for the tv in my room...And I felt like being lazy tonight and...I don't know how it happened, but the channel got stuck on MTV...and for awhile on VH1...and I feel a little bit dirty, a little bit old, and definitely lazier for not getting up and changing the channel/doing something with my life.
So, there is a lot of crap on tv, and some of it is the kind of crap that makes me want to see what happens next. I feel like I'm back in high school and man, are there a lot of shows out there that make me glad high school is over. Let's recap some of my magical experience. Hulk Hogan has his own reality show...? Wow. He is still looking pretty good and it's nice to know his family can mooch off of his successful career. I saw a glimpse of his publicity stunts with the other old wrestlers I watched growing up (My brothers had this pretty cool thumb wrestler collection we all fought over...it was awesome...we had a wrestling ring and a bunch of plastic/rubber collectable wrestlers we'd wear on our thumbs and have our own matches. It caused a lot of family fights, obviously.) Let's just say that Hogan is aging a lot more gracefully than the other ones.
Moving on, Laguna Beach...what is it? Is it fake? Are the characters real? C'mon, it gave me a headache. Ok, and what about Date my Mom, um...really. Although some of the writing (and it was obviously scripted...) was funny/clever, it is pretty horrible that moms and daughters will exploit each other to get on tv. I can only imagine the stuff my mom would say about me to get me a date. HA. So, one mom had to dress up in a costume to describe her daughter. She chose a pig. Wow, that's love. And you'd be surprised how many people described their daughters as bitchy. Some of the moms were whoreish too...shocker. When you let your mom date your potential date first, and watch her go out in booty shorts, you know you need to get away from sloppy seconds. And finally, there is a show where one person gets to raid three potential dates' homes and see how they live. The places are a mess and they have a spy kit to see if the dates are getting busy in their own rooms. Nice...and this episode rocked cause it was the ghetto edition, in Cali. Fun.
I am ready to turn off the tube and grab a book...I totally forgot what it was like to kill brain cells without the help of alcohol.

Klutz-o-matic Finds a New Apartment!

2005-07-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

I got an apartment!!! I am really excited about it. I am going to miss living in this beautiful townhouse with two really great guys, but...I am thinking that it's a good move for me. I think I am old enough to Mary-Tyler-Moore-my way into the world. I can eat ramon noodles on the floor of my living room and walk around in my underwear...after I buy shades so my neighbors can live in peace. Ah, excitement. Although I am going to miss my deck and washer/dryer I am all ready for my own place. The only other downside is that the guy doesn't want pets, but at least four other tenants in a 6-apt house all have pets...two of them have dogs. So...maybe if I pressure him/pay more, I'll be able to persuade my way into getting a pooch. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I am so unbelievably excited that I got the place before the month is up. It's pretty small and in an older building, but they are doing renovations and I'll get a new kitchen and bathroom and be able to move in in September, if not earlier. The building is cool, as it used to be housing for military officers and has a history behind it. For the size (it's a 1 bedroom, not a studio) I am getting an awesome price, so I am making a list of reasons to be excited and not sad that I am leaving this place. Anyone want to go get drunk in celebration? I'm ready.
I am still digging the new job. I was given a project doing graphic design (something I know nothing about) and really liked it. I think I did alright on it; it feels kinda good to use my brain on something other than dropping beers on people/myself...We shall see. And I love my bosses! They took me out for a drink after work this week, which turned into 3 rounds of fun. I had to leave before I got wasted in front of the new bosses. I don't think that'd be cool. They apparently go over pretty often, because the bartender knew all about me. It's a good thing that they only know the good stuff so far...

I Survived the Wet Tee Shirt Contest...Barely.

2005-07-26T01:31:00.000-05:00

So we all know that I am a major tripping asshole...well tonight proved to be the pinacle of my klutziness. I could barely breathe without creating a major accident. I dumped a beer all over me...ME, while talking at service bar. As opposed to me just dropping it randomly. And two of the hispanic kitchen staff happened to be sitting at the bar watching my nipples transform as the whole beer hit my chest. Fucking-a. I immediately asked for another shirt and the manager gave me one that was one size smaller than my current shirt. I have to admit, that it felt and looks a lot better, but one of the dudes at the bar asked me, "Is that a new shirt? Because what happened? You have cheechas..." Um. Yeah, I have always had them. So, thanks. Apparently the whole bar became better aquainted with my breasts tonight. Fun. Then at random people spilled stuff around me and came dangerously close to nailing me with various drinks/trays of food, etc. I continued to klutz myself around the bar feeling like I was on the set of Final Destination VII, where I am about to die as I hand someone a beer. And that's about it on the excitement scale. My fellow employees saw me dump my own beer on myself for no apparent reason except that I am a klutz, and found out I have nipple rings. I am a tad bit embarrased, but glad I got a new shirt out of the deal.
In other news, I am so happy with my new day job, although I feel as tired as a single mom with 5 kids (ok...not really... and I never want to know what that feels like...), I have responsibility and dress up for work and battle the crowds to get to "the office," and wear pantyhose...thrilling. I am kinda beat from working two jobs, but am liking the fact that I don't have to put a restaurant on my resume. I just got home from work and have to be at the office in 6 hours...Cheers.

Love Comes in the Form of a Tiny, Blue, Plastic Triangle

2005-07-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

I am in love. Well, not really, but I really, really have a crush on the lead singer of The Bravery. Not only is he hot, he's super talented and I have the beginnings of a shrine underway in my apartment. I saw them live this weekend and what a great show! I saw an awesome band, got into a semi fight with a dude that jumped on my friend. We were standing really close to the stage and apparently he wanted to make it a mosh pit...but not really the right kind of music and he's outnumbered by nonjumpers. I pushed him, but only cause he jumped into my arm... ;) He pushed me back and it continued briefly. He ended up appologizing, but really...you are a major tool to push a girl. Even if you are gay. Did I mention that? He was gay. And his boyfriend seriously yelled at him when he appologized to me. I bet he got in trouble when he got home. After the shoving match, the show went on and was awesome. I got a guitar pick thrown at me after the show (which is a part of the shrine) and I am so very happy I paid double the ticket price to a skinny college aged hustler for the tickets.
Aside from the awesome show I got a new job. I am still working at the bar (only now part time, thank God) and am going to be a glorified assistant to four "Presidents" to a pretty exclusive catering company out of Old Town. I am really excited to put something on my resume that doesn't involve working for tips and hopefully will put my degree to use...as I am growing a bit hardhearted in thinking degrees don't really amount to much. We shall see!
In other news, my brother drunk called me at 3am this morning to tell me a bunch of dysfunctional stuff about our father's side of the family. It was very enlightening and I felt like getting out of a bed and getting drunk so I could contribute. He needs to keep it up, because normally I do all the talking in our relationship and annoy the living hell out of him. It was great.
Moving on to kharma. I am screwed for server kharma...I was a total bitch the last couple of nights to people who really did deserve it...until today. I had a table that was all over happy hour beers and were sucking down water like it was...well, liquid gold. So much work...and the tab ended up being 94 bucks Ok, so $40 of it was from Carbombs, but that leaves $50 bucks from $2 draughts, plus all those waters. You do the math...that's like 25 beers. They found out my name was Joy and yelled it all over the restaurant, which makes me want to punch people in the ribs in all honesty. So I come over and the dude scribbled 101.00 on the total line and wanted to make sure it was ok. I just looked at him and gave a drop dead look and walked off. I looked like a major bitch. They yelled my name again over my tables to say thank you and they'd be back as I waved them off and kept working, all the while giving evil stares. It turns out they put more money in the book. I am an ASSHOLE. They gave it to the bartender and yelled at me again to let me know where it was as I waved them away again. I am going to server hell. Later in the night one of the ladies in the group was at the bar and I appologized for being rude when they left. She gave me this look of confusion and said that I didn't do anything wrong. I was taken aback and felt worse, but then felt great. I can be as rude as I want to be and get away with that. But I'm still due for some bad kharma....damn.

Shady Job Offers Galore!

2005-06-30T00:58:00.000-05:00

Today just made me want to pack it all in and sleep all day, living life as a bum. I woke up after 4 hours of sleep all excited about two job interviews I had lined up on my day off of work. I woke up early and drove to a pretty swanky hotel bar for an interview. After I finished signing my life away and telling my life story in the application, read their policies, etc, and met/spoke with the pretty cool manager (who was really French and either gay or metrosexual...who can tell, he's European). So, we get to talking...a lot...and I find he begins to go on and on about serving there. Um...I'm sorry, is this opening for a server or bartender? (Because I just got done talking to you about my bar experience and why I like bartending...) Apparently he misread my intentions. Damn. Double damn. So he asks if I still want to talk to HR because he would like to hire me. I say I'm going to hold off, but thanks. Lovely.
I rush back and change and head off to get my hair chopped. It's now at the crossing point between being cute/short and being butchy. I think she cut too much off. Eh, it'll grow back and it's summer, so I'll live with it. I get home and speed off to round two in the job hunt.
Same shit, different job. Selling webspace/ads to small restaurants...no thanks. But on top of that the interview is at a bar. I meet the guy who described himself as looking like Tom Cruise + 45 pounds (for real). Gag me. I laughed on the phone when I heard it, but I walked into the bar and he looked like a member of the Sopranos who happens to like yachting. He talked about his boat a lot...and how he liked to golf...and play tennis...etc. Oh, so you're rich, hey? Uh, that's cool. He's a sketchy middle aged man who is the closest talker I know. At one point his thigh was touching mine. And you can only scoot your ass so far off a barstool without falling off. I swear I wanted to die. On top of this I haven't eaten all day and got called in to work at 4, so I am not really paying attention to his gabbing. Aside from giving the bartenders the "help me" face, rambling thoughts going through my head were, "God...you talk too much. Are you going to get at what I am going to do for the company...hurry up, I'm hungry...STOP touching me. Man...I have to be at work in an hour...I really want a shot." His breath smelled, he kept touching his nose or face and then putting his hand on my shoulder or my chair. I got more attention/action than I've had in awhile and it was SCARY. I finally bailed an hour into the interview. I honestly think this one is up in the running with the time I drove out to Maryland to meet a guy for a gig and it ended up being in his apartment. Sketchy bastards.

Drip Dry Girl Ditches Spidey for a Night with Gotham's Finest

2005-06-17T00:56:00.000-05:00

Lover's Quarrel
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I saw Batman tonight! It was unbelievably good. It's been a really long time since I've seen a movie that I've been dying to see since the first preview, that actually WAS GOOD. This movie kicked so much ass that I want to go see it again tomorrow. I know it'll probably take 7 years to make a new one...they will make a new one right? I hope they don't puss out now that they got me all excited.

In other news, I have been walking into a long, wispy, and annoying spiderweb on the way to my car every morning. I don't know what the spider is planning on doing, or why it picked my car as basecamp, but I destroy it if I can each morning, and am greeted by it again the following day. Why won't the damned spider just die? You'd think that at the speeds I drive, it wouldn't survive. Well, the bugger came out to show me he is indeed alive this morning as I was whipping around a curve going about 45 MPH. I started flailing around like a mad woman to get the thing back outside where it belongs and I think it may have met its demise. I'm crossing my fingers anyway...unless an original spider from God knows when spawned millions of babies that have some plot against me that begins each time I drive my car.
And last but not least, our house is being converted into a Laundr-o-mat, minus the dryers. Our washer died a couple weeks ago and last week the dryer decided to join its mate in purgutory or heaven or wherever appliances go to die. I don't know if the dryer couldn't live without its beyotch and died of a broken heart, or if it killed her out of spite, but we have laundry piled up all over the house now due to its breakdown. Every banister and railing has something drying on it. I can't walk around my room without seeing clothes clinging on door knobs, hanging from my shower, etc. It's fun stuff. I hope our replacement comes soon. The new washer needs a companion that isn't a loon.
I have tomorrow off from all the crazies at the bar and I can't wait. I have drinking with a friend set up so I can "write my article" on boozing...so the day sounds like it'll rock, I just hope my laundry dries in 15 hours so I can go out...

Sangria Toting Fool Slices and Dices her Way to a Hangover

2005-06-14T23:53:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it was the booze talking (I think I woke up semi-drunk) or if I was just feeling utterly stupid, but I answered an early phone call from a frantic manager and agreed to switching from a night shift to a morning shift (! Stupid!) because one of the new servers twisted her ankle and called out...Ok...I talked to this girl and she got another job right after she was hired at our place...so I highly doubt she twisted an ankle...I bet she's on the other side of town pimping her perfectly normal ankles to make a buck. I walk in and another new server who is the polar opposite of me (major charicteristic being that she doesn't talk...at all...) decides she hates it and quits on the spot. So...if I didn't go in, the manager would have had to do it all. That would have been great. I should have said no. Instead I got to deal with a bunch of crabby customers and chat up strangers at the end of my shift at the bar.
On a happier note, I have taken up the request to write an article all about sangria...nice. Downside, am I paying for the drinks before hand? Because something tells me that I will be in the negative if I sport the tab for the drinks and get paid 5 cents a word for my troubles. If you could call that trouble. I don't think there's that much I can say about sangria to make 5 cents a word add up...Regardless I spent my first night on the town with some girl friends of mine and we had a lot of fun. Didn't like the sangria, which inspired me to make my own so I'd have something to compare and get additional fluff for the article, like recipes maybe.
So...I made white sangria...not my best decision in life. I bought a shitload of fruits, and spent a long ass time chopping away at them, which was actually a lot of fun because I enjoyed my new favorite band, The Bravery* while slaving in the kitchen. I cut up the following: pineapple, watermellon, an apple, orange, lemon, lime, grapes, strawberries, and a nectarine! That's a helluva lot of fruit. But the kicker was the wine. I mixed a nice white wine with brandy, vodka, and gingerale...and woke up with a splitting headache and the quality bathroom time too. I can't handle the white wine...No mas...No mas...
*Speaking of The Bravery...Great band. I like them a lot and can't wait to see them live when they come to DC. Should be a good time.
I believe most of our crap is dead and gone at home...the estate sale is over and my mom probably has more nickels and loose change than she knows what to do with. I am so glad I wasn't there to watch people go through our stuff and haggle. I probably would have slapped someone. And finally, does anyone know the name of Annie's dog? (Little curly, red haired Annie).

The Long Farewell to Wisconsin

2005-05-31T23:51:00.000-05:00

Ah,
The roadtrip was kinda cool. I had one semi-sketchy stop in Pennsylvania (self-serve gas stations are so weird...) that turned out to be cool. I had the weirdest feeling that I was taking part in a creepy horror flick...nothing around for miles...weather beated signs swinging in the wind...scruffy old people with hick accents and no teeth trying to figure out why you'd leave VA for the midwest...Fun.
There's not a whole helluva lot in Ohio, or Indiana, Or Illinois...until you make your way to Chicago, which was a lot of fun to drive through. Unless you really, REALLY love fields, stay away from Ohio and Indiana. And if your lifelong fantasy has been to chill on a couch in your front yard (hell, or back yard), head on over to Pennsylvania.
I stumbled into the house at around 11pm (12am Joy standard time/East Coast) to find everything moved around and stacked halfway to the ceiling in boxes. All the sheets and extra pillows and blankets were nowhere to be found, my sister was awol, and my parents were sleeping. At least the dogs were happy to see me. I slept on the couch after pulling all the boxes off of it and tried to wrap up in a couple ahfgans, which was pointless as they have a shitload of holes in them. My sister stumbled in and gave me a pillow (!) So my night got a little bit better, but man, it feels weird to be home. Our home is all messed up. Nearly everything has a pricetag on it or has been moved into a non-functional position in the house. While sorting stuff and commenting on if something is nice I am faced with an instant, "Do you want it? Take it with you." Wow...really? Everything? Yeah...
"Man, we can have movie night one more time and make popcorn..."
"Can't...Dad sold the tv and everything else is packed up."
"Oh, it'll be awesome to grill out one last time."
"Um...Dad sold the grill...And the patio set."
Damn.
I am making out like a bandit and feeling guilty at the same time. I don't want our house to get chopped up and sold off/given away.
While all of this moving crap sucks, it's nice to see the family again. My father freaked me out as he has changed his facial hair and I'm not used to looking at him yet. Moustaches are kinda creepy, yet it looks ok on him...I played cards and drank with my brothers and grilled out on a tiny ass charcoal grill. It feels good to be home.

Drunken Work is so much Better than Sober Life

2005-05-22T03:13:00.000-05:00

So when is bacon and ham the same thing? I know that ham and bacon come from the same animal...but they are different right? I bought a turkey and HAM sandwich tonight from the only4AM deli counter (711) and was very unhappy to find that the sandwich had mayo (EEEEEW) and bacon (!?). In what way is this sandwich a turkey and ham sandwich? It sounds more like a turkey and bacon with mayo sandwich...I am a bit upset. It's a good thing I am slightly drunk and going to bed so I don't dwell on the unfairness of life based on the definition of a good sandwich.
Other than my poor choice in dinner, life is pretty good.
I am going home to "help" my parents sell my childhood home...aka cry and have a fit at them selling everything we've laid eyes on since I was wee little brat..."You can NOT have my barbie house for $10...FUCK OFF." I don't know how long my parents will be able to deal with me. I may have to bring my own liquor to deal, but I have to go back to say goodbye.
With all of that drama aside, I have to say life isn't half bad. I am looking for a career job to keep me sane and am kissing ass/waiting tables.
Tonight it worked out ok...thank God, because all week it was aweful...
I honestly think that drinking makes my personality so much better. I was given a couple drinks and man did I light up a room! I floated on air and made money. I think I need to bring my own liquor to the party from now on and become a bonified alcoholic waitress until I make it big.
Cheers.

Plagiarism Rocks My World

2005-04-19T11:12:00.000-05:00

I feel like I have arrived as an "author." I have been plagiarized! I occasionally write for a magazine and found myself thumbing through a different publication (ok, more like a huge pamphlet...it was pretty small). As I'm reading a description of a coffee shop I kind of loose my breath for a minute, "This sounds totally like me...Wait! It IS me...I totally wrote this last year...SWEET." I can't believe someone would copy something I wrote, I have arrived.
I have a huge article coming out this month, unless they majorly cut the crap out of it. I'm crossing my fingers someone else steals from me. I am that cool. Ok, not really, but I'd like to think that I am when I have no other accomplishments under my belt at the moment.
In other news, my parents are selling the house. I can't believe it and this makes me feel like a child-adult-mutant. I told them they can't sell the house; where are we going to celebrate Christmas? If they decide to take up RVing like a couple of retirement crazies, I am NOT visiting them in a trailer park for the holidays. That just...doesn't work for me. So now they have come face to face that they have raised a selfish daughter who is backtracking from adulthood into a whiney brat that wants to keep her house. So my oasis known as the childhood home is history. It's a good thing I have the plagiarism to keep me going.

7-11 Sports Real Life Golly Green Giant

2005-04-08T13:33:00.000-05:00

So I went to 7-11 last night to get some dinner after work. I was obviously there at the sketchy point of the evening when the only people there are ghetto or cops...or just getting off work (ME). Although it has been argued that I am ghetto...I almost fall over in astonishment when I get up to pay for my sandwhich and see that the cashier, "Dunn," is towering over me. I am short, almost as short as they come, but this guy is like a tree in comparison to me, the stump. I ask him how tall he is. He looks down at me and says, "7'4.'' I think my mouth dropped open. I felt as white and stupid as they come and I felt like asking if he played basketball. I resisted that urge and said instead, "Dude! You're over 2 feet taller than me, what do you think of that?" He just looked at me and gave me my change. I wonder if he is faced with a lot of short, stupid people asking him questions. Regardless, if anyone in the DC area is looking for another player on a basketball team of any sort, hit up your local 7-11s.

Work can hurt.

2005-03-31T03:17:00.000-05:00

bloody knees (not joys)
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

First off, these aren't my knees. I am using this picture because I thought it was hilarious that someone else goes through what I do...I fall A LOT. And it sorta sucks. Well I have been on a non-falling kick recently. I haven't fallen in a long ass time. Unless you count my drunken stupors or almost near falls, wherein I didn't hit the ground, but came awefully close to it.
My story begins at DSW, a pretty cool shoe store. I bought a nifty pair of Puma's that fit just right when I walked around the carpeted store. I bought new white socks to go with my new white shoes and was happy. My feet started hurting the minute I got off the metro. I swear one foot is bigger than the other. Then I realized that the shoes weren't water resistant. Either that or the floor and I don't get along. I came into the service area where we get our drinks and fell on my knees while I was midsentence with another server. I got up in like a second and they didn't think I fell. Well, the big mouth I have, I sung like a canary and told the world, "Whoa. I fell. It's like a friggen slip and slide back here. Wow." Smooth, Joy, smooth. Then later in the evening I approach the service area like a hurricane and phfooop. Right on my knees again. Fuckin-A. This time, more water. And I wasn't as smooth. A different server saw me. Or heard me, because I said "Fuckin-A" out loud...in front of a couple families and anyone near the service area... At that point, it was big joke. Anyone that spilled water I gave the evil eye to and asked if they had a death wish on me. Getting food in the kitchen was a gamble as I slid my way around like a retard. I hate my Puma's and am screwed. They hurt since I have one big ass foot and one regular (?) one and apparently they interfere with my relationship with gravity. I didn't have these issues with my last pair of shoes (I bought them a month ago and they are Diesel, black leather, sweat ass shoes!), which I gave up since the leather and my socks didn't get along and I constantly smelled wet dog (MY FRIGGEN FEET) wherever I went. So, I am stuck, my friends. I came home tonight with sore feet that didn't smell at all! But I seriously have a bloody and bruised knee...Or I can wear the smelly shoes and come home bruise and blood free and smell god-aweful.
At least I have the embarrasment over with. I fell finally, which I do at every job I have ever had...except the magazine. Oh wait, no I fell in the street walking to the office...yeah. Not my finest moment. I guess I will buy some febreeze or heavy duty foot powder and wear the smelly shoes. But in no way will I save face in this situation. I am vertically challenged and will learn to deal.

Beattie Morphs into a Smurf Overnight

2005-03-26T14:25:00.000-05:00

So, I weaseled my way out of work last night and picked up the sucker day shift so I could go to Interpol and it was a lot of fun. However I woke up this morning with a big blue stamp imprinted on my face. I either got really drunk and was punched by someone at the show or I slept on my stupid hand and got inked. Whatever the case I scrubbed the death out of my hand and face and am still smurfish. Great.
Oh, and I am turning into a lamewad that never gets phone calls. Ever. Unless I am in a position when I can't or shouldn't pick up the phone. Like at work for instance, or a concert...I got phone calls galore last night, which is typically a night I work, so it's weird that people would call. One of which was my brother, Donny. Great kid...he's apparently winning an award from his university because not only is he an athlete, but he got a 3.4 GPA. And he's morphing into a jock...well, he's been one for awhile, but he can't fit into any of his altered Men's Warehouse suits because they have been altered like 5 times already. So my dad is driving up to see him for a day for Easter and to buy him some new clothes. Must be nice, Donny! Uh, so I am not an athlete and graduated college, but I need some new stuff, Dad...=) So the only reason he calls is cause he has a song stuck in his head and he thinks that I'd know what it was. And he's drunk. Nice combo. I had a brief glimpse of the song, and narrowed it down to a grunge/alternative band from the early 90s. But then I got drunk and forgot the tune. Good luck on the song and the suit, Donny.
Work is great. Unless I am forced by laziness or stupidity to take a cab, in which case I spend half of what I make to get there and back. But it's normally my fault for waking up late and not having time to metro. Other than all the exciting things I just mentioned I have a lazy Saturday off. I hate battling all the tourists and random people who go out on weekends, so I am going to chill at home today. God love those who sleep until 2pm, I am so happy I can sleep in again!

Smokey Merrimaids her Way Through the Weekend

2005-03-20T18:09:00.000-05:00

Ah. Today has been great. This is my first day off in 3 weeks. I am so damn happy and slept most of the day. I am still contemplating leaving the house, but I finally cleaned the shithole I call my room. Getting high off tilex while singing along to the Dandy Warhols and Rolling Stones is the perfect way to spend a stormy Sunday...Ok, I can think of better ways, but I am still happy as a clam.
That and my retard dreams are back. I won't go into details, but they are back.
Work is fun and all, but I'm not used to the inconsistency of business. I need to make money, damnit. It definitely feels good to be able to have drinks for free after work and for working in DC again. I am also not working for corporate snobs so I can talk to people any damn way I please, which is awesome. I can give attitute right back to the people who are giving it to me...although I can't help feeling I work in a diner when that situation presents itself.
I have also moved laterally on the smelliness scale. I used to leave work smelling like tacos and I now leave smelling like an ashtray and a campfire mixed together. We have a real fireplace and there is usually always wood burning, hence my outdoorsy smell. I get weird looks from people on the metro...and I know what they are thinking. "Where the hell was she today? I'm pretty sure burning leaves and holding bonfires is illegal in the city..." Hopefully I'll become immune to my own stench soon.
More on that later, I am going to get out of the house.

Guinness Defeats Burritos in a Landslide Victory!

2005-03-13T00:34:00.000-05:00

Um. So times...they are a changin. Yo estoy finito en el restaurante de burritos y yo estoy MUY contenta. I am so done with tacos! But I have to say, I am going to miss my staff. I got flowers from the night crew and a few of them actually got all misty and I got hugs...totally not expected. But I am glad that no one wanted me to go. I am so not used to that feeling. :)
I am entering my 3rd week of straight up work and I am really wanting a day off. I am also experiencing college life for the next week as I am approaching a deadline for freelance work for a magazine and I have not begun to write/research the article. Woops. I feel a late night cram session coming on. With all that said, I am a busy girl and liking the change. I am transitioning from a gig where I work all day running around making drinks, serving guests, expoing, cooking, and cashiering to only waiting tables. So much easier...and I am making the green, so I am a happy camper.
My tired ass is hitting the hay. I am serving brunch tomorrow, what fun!

Cow Tipping Like You've Never Seen it Before

2005-02-27T00:21:00.000-05:00

Cow Tipping Like You've Never Seen it Before
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

There was inspiration for this, by the way. The idea didn't just come to me randomly. Apparently some dude in his 60s was busted having his way with some other dude's cow. His defense is that he he started his relationship with Bessie years back and took breaks from his beast of love while in relationships with his wife/girlfriends, etc.
The story is worth checking out. And before I get the questions: Yes, this dude found his true love in Wisconsin...and No, I don't know who he or the cow is. And who said Wisconsin wasn't entertaining?

Burritoville Dies

2005-02-23T02:23:00.000-05:00

I landed a new gig at a pretty popular Irish joint in DC. Woooooooohooooooo. Goodbye burritos. Goodbye 14 hour shifts where I make no money. Goodbye and good ridence...is that how you spell ridence? If I am wrong, tell me, because I am losing everything I paid for in college.
I just had a great night out with my best friend, Sheila. Some random guy ended up talking to me and told me that I should loose the eyebrow ring because it takes away from my "beauty." I laughed at him and told him my mom said the same thing and that I don't believe her and I hardly ever wear the jewelry, but that when I do, I get comments that I wouldn't get if I wasn't wearing the eyebrow ring. I guess I'm a rebel, because nights like tonight make me want to wear it all the time.
With that said, hello eyebrow rings, goodbye burritos, hello cash flow. I am so happy.

Patriots Drive Fords!

2005-02-16T13:02:00.000-05:00

24 Ford
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I love having an Explorer...for many different reasons, but I feel particulary close to my vehicle after watching the last 2 seasons of 24. Not only am I that much cooler for driving a Ford, I drive (an old) Ford Explorer, just like all the badasses in CTU. Ah...I have proven myself as a patriotic US citizen. I wouldn't be cought dead in an import, because as 24 shows, all terrorists drive imports! Don't say I didn't warn you.

Smallest Sib is Alls-Growed Up

2005-02-11T23:41:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Nen!!! How old are you now? 18? No, wait, 19! Well happy birthday. You are now experiencing the drag in between 18 and 21. You only have 2 more years to go until you can legally be seen with Doug and me. And nice job scoring that VW Golf! It is so much classier than the death box all boarded up with cardboard windows since the ghetto bastards in Wisconsin decided it was worth their time to break into a fucking Suzuki to get a JVC cd player. (My sister drove a 5wheel drive Suzuki Sidekick (!) that my dad bought her...) She liked it enough until she was cleaning it and saw a sticker in the door frame that said, "Caution! Vehicle has been known to flip over when taking turns at too fast a speed." She has been scared to drive around corners faster than 5 miles an hour after reading said sign. Then one fateful day in Milwaukee my sister came back to her car to find the back small (tiny) window busted out and her JVC cd player missing. What kind of bastards would do that??? Then our dad threw out the weather stripping that was set aside for the new window she was searching for and alas, Jenna was doomed for a cardboard window for about a year. Heh. Good job scoring a classy import, Nen. Driving in style. Too bad it's bright teal! Love you, Happy Birthday.

We finally say goodbye to Christmas

2005-02-11T00:55:00.000-05:00

Um. So East of Eden the movie...SUCKED. I finished the book, and man it's as big as the Bible, so it was a huge deal for me to finish it. I loved it too, so I figured I'd give the movie a shot, cause it's a classic and all...it was a complete waste of my time. Roughly 2 hours I will never get back. I know James Dean is respected and dead and all...and I know that movie was made a long time ago, but it was a horrible. I'm forewarning the 5 people that read this blog to resist the urge to rent/buy East of Eden. And I know that you all have that desire to rent it whenever you go to get movies.
That and we finally took down the Christmas tree! I got a rash from picking off the ornaments and the lights and blessed the entire house with an abundance of pine needles. My arms got all itchy and red and I looked like I got bit by some horrible spider. The whole ordeal kinda made me wish we kept the tree up year round. Maybe we should have watered it after Christmas...who knows, but it got it's revenge. O was nice enough to take the crispy bastard down stairs and toss it on the curb. He was about 8 feet shy of the corner however, so I think he gave up lugging it down the driveway. And with our 30 mile an hour winds today the tree has decided to set up camp across the street by the community mailbox. So...we now have a community tree, folks. Cheers!

Swamp Thing Breaks Down Door and Amazes All

2005-02-08T11:10:00.000-05:00

Ever broken into a bathroom? I'm managing the other night and one of my employees (who is really sweet, but has an uncanny ability to mix English and Spanish all the time...Even her native Spanish speaking friends can't understand her...do you see where I am going with this?) comes up to me frantically saying there is a guy trying to get into the bathroom and can't get in. Me, "and?" He's been in the hallway a long time and no one is in the men's room. Ok. How do you know that? Is there a peep hole I don't know about? I give her the "what do you want me to do about it" look, tell her to tell the guy he can use the women's room, and go back to working. I then realize I am managing the stupid restaurant and it's sorta my job to fix it. Well, we have no keys for the bathroom doors...I end up pounding my shoulder into the door until it opens and wouldn't you know it, no one was in there. I turn around and this woman is looking at me with her mouth wide open. Yeah. I must have looked half crazy and maybe a little angry to be busting down the men's room door. Maybe she thought I really had to go. Anyway...the thought didn't even occur to me that someone could have been in there having sex, or that someone fell over dead, or that they were passed out, or impaired or anything. I don't remember even knocking. I just busted the door down and barged in.
The night got even better when I went out to my car and stepped in the biggest puddle known to man and soaked both feet and my legs up past my ankle. That pretty much triggered my brain for a beer. I deserved it after tromping through the place looking like swamp thing.
And that is my story. Two new pet peeves: Stupid guys who think it's funny to lock bathrooms before leaving and big ass puddles.

Pet Peeves Part I

2005-01-30T22:41:00.000-05:00

Now that the pressure is on for me to create a pet peeve list that will amaze and entertain...I am at a loss, which is something utterly new to me...but I'm sure I can whip phase one into gear easily. The first one has been bugging me for a long time.

1) Dirty public bathrooms. You know how it's ok to live in your own filth because it's your germs, but it's disgusting to be around it in public places? Well, that's how I feel about dirty public bathrooms. Especially the ladies. What is up with making a little shit and urine tornado in the women's stalls? Aren't you ladies (Hey, by definition, you wouldn't be a lady if you were to be this aweful...) embarrassed when you do it? Or are you just pigs to leave the stall that everyone will be grossed out to use? The next girl that goes in is going to see that you like to pee like a 3 year old. Little fairies don't come in and clean stalls in between uses, if you were wondering. I mean really, what makes someone get off by buying something trivial and then capping off the experience by acting like a pig in the restroom? Get it in gear, people! I am not the shit patrol and don't get paid to wipe your ass or your toilet seat after you. And I hate and I mean abhor telling my staff to clean up after you too. That shouldn't be my job. Learn to pee in a hole.

(See...maybe the pet peeve list isn't such a good idea...there will be a ton of ranting...but maybe it will make a difference in the lives of my 5 readers.)

Looking for #2...KIDS!

Ok, I like kids...kids who are well behaved and pretty quiet. Either that or the exact opposite: Kids who are little devils to parents who deserve the abuse. However, I really don't like hanging out with kids when I'm out in public trying to live life without a headache. The screaming and the running around, and the "about to fall off stuff you shouldn't be on" events drive me nuts. I think the quote in Mallrats about the kid left unattended on the escalator caps off my thoughts on kids. They are cool if they are well behaved, but if they are teetering on the edge of a table they climbed up on, well...take them home. I can't dig the snot all over the place or the wailing that occurs after I look at them. Maybe it's the parents I have issues with. Yeah. I think it's the parents. Regardless I'm getting a dog when I want a kid. No offense to all you kid lovers out there, I'm just not converted yet.

3) People who don't say thank you when it's deserved.

I'm not one of those psychos that want you to thank me everytime I do something nice for you. Well, maybe I am. My mom taught me (by training, mind you...borderline bullying) that we had to say thank you whenever we were given anything or people do something kind for us, etc. Well people in this area usually SUCK at it. I'm going to give you an example that has happened to me multiple times, so you are converted: This 20something girl left her purse at my restaurant the other day. I hate it when this happens, because I have to do something about it. I feel like shit going through the purse to get identification, but I'd want someone to contact me if roles were reversed. I could just shove it in the safe or go through it looking for cash and wait for the person to play Sherlock Holmes and figure out where they left it. I choose the more humane route and pull out an insurance card or credit card and play detective myself. This takes up a lot of my valuable time as the insurance people and credit card folks think I either stole the ID, let alone purse, or don't understand why I'm calling. They are probably thinking, "Who saves a purse/wallet??? You didn't scrap it and keep the cash?" After my calls are made I save the purse and wait for the dumbass to come get it. She does and with no comment at all save the, "I am here for my purse," she leaves. ? Ok. I'd like kiss/hug someone if they did that for me. And all I'm looking for is a thank you. Please don't kiss/hug me. Unless you are hot. And a guy.

Alright, my ranting can continue, however, I am more happy than mean spirited. At least tonight, anyway, so I am taking a break from the ranting.

Drinking in Baltimore is Good for Your Health.

2005-01-28T02:40:00.000-05:00

baltimore
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Today Sheila and I trekked back to the working life after a mini-vacation of fun in Baltimore.
I love vacations that include drinking and seeing the local life (of bars...) Not that that is all we did, we spent a lot of time checking out the hotel too.
This is the first time in my life that I ever raided a mini bar (it's worth it), the first time I ever got breakfast delivered (it's worth it), the first time I ever lounged in a hotel to take a break to go drink (SO AWESOME).
I can't wait to do it again. Cheers, Sheila!

Besides all of that, I tried Yoohoo (the drink) for the first time tonight. It's mighty tasty. It's a helluva lot better than chocolate milk and I am wondering why I never gave it a shot before...

I haven't posted in awhile...but there have been a ton of things that happen to me and my instant reaction is, "I can't wait to blog about that!" Which...makes me a bit insane, I know...but still.

I am going to start a pet peeve list...and by pet peeve I mean that it's a good thing this isn't really my world because anyone doing the things on my pet peeve list would immediately be banished or just plain shot. And I would definitely enjoy doing it.

But I am not really in the mood to write about all that jazz at the moment.
But it's going to be good. Like really, really good.
With that, I have gotta go and get pissed off so I have something to write about.

Thailand Produces A Potty Trained Poopin' Elephant!

2005-01-20T01:31:00.000-05:00

the poopin elephant
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

As promised, here is some new artwork. If it is possible to get a huge ass elephant to poop in the right place, how come it's so hard to get a tiny little dog to do it???
Props to Thailand for producing such a fine specimen.
In addition to drawing pooping elephants, I shoveled a ton of snow today with Sheila, bored myself with tv, and ate spaghetti-os, which weren't all that I thought they would be.
I made eye contact and had a mini-conversation with a really good looking police officer this morning. I know! It's shocking, as I am not normally looking for love with government workers, but I'd let him cuff me.
Whoa! Deejah-vu. I just looked out my window and saw Sheila. Freaky, hope she doesn't think I was spyin on her. Heh.
I'm off to dream about good looking cops.

Beattie's Dreams Return in Full Force

2005-01-18T13:36:00.000-05:00

Dreams are back. And weird dreams at that. I have had an issue with sleeping lately. When I say that, I mean that I can't sleep until the wee hours of the morning because my mighty brain just keeps on chugging. When I do fall asleep or want to sleep, it is when normal people are doing normal things. And I love taking naps and have no issues with sleeping all day. There is a problem with me.
So, segueing into dreams (is that how you spell segueing?)...I dreamed a lot of weird stuff last night, but my personal favorite, which is the only one I'll mention, dealt with my family. My brothers and my father were in the dream and we were at my grandmother's house where my father grew up. We were all sitting watching tv, and my roommate O was there with some friends (odd). My brother (in real life) plays football for the Gophers and I am really proud of it and don't shut my trap about it. So...I'm talking about him and all of a sudden there's a commercial on tv and Donny (brother) is dressed in his football uniform and dressed in a kiddy dinosaur costume (think Barney) and is dancing around in a cereal commercial. And I freak out and am like, DUDE, that's my brother! He's on tv. He's so cool. I am really weird about his great acting abilities as a dinosaur and don't realize he's in the living room with me. Then Doug, Donny, and I start throwing random shit at each other. O and everyone else was not impressed with Donny's fame. I was.
And with that I am going to spend my day off with all the kids that are off of school because of the mounds of snow we just got! It's sunny and not a damn mound of snow in sight. Ah, Virginia.