Weight Lifter Extraordinaire Demolishes Unsuspecting Egg in a Fight to the Death.

making eggs
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

We all know my roommate Jason loves to work out and eat healthy...and pretty much has this routine down to a science. He has a 5 course meal set out for himself every night. Course 1:Plain old nuts. No salt. No fun. Course 2: a medley of frozen berries with some mulled oats...no sugar. No fun. Course 3: (same bowl) black beans, maybe chick peas, and organic tomato paste...No fun. Course 4: Some wheat meat, maybe a prune/apple/nectarine while he is nuking the fuck out of some veggies. This I can handle. Unless it's grapes, in which case they are discovered after being squished under our lazy asses for weeks in the couch. Course 5: BROCCOLI!!! Yay. Broccoli mixed with brussel sprouts, cauliflower, and a shitload of other frozen veggies that get nuked into oblivion. No salt, no spices. No fun.
But wait! Replacing the wheat meat and protein substitutes, we have hard boiled eggs. O and I were not all that excited to find bags of eggs chillin in our refridgerator waiting to die as they resided in plastic bags, not their safe little cartons. Not to mention the smell of really bad gas.
So I am lazing around on the couch after dying my hair (it's NOT pink or orange this time) and Jason comes back from the gym and breaks his post workout routine and sits down to crack open like 10 hard boiled eggs.
I kind of pull my shirt over my nose, cause I have this bad reaction to the smell of hard boiled eggs. They are gross. He's separating the whites from the yolks. Me, "What are you going to do after you do that?" Jason, "Eat them." Me, "Just like that? Not mixed with anything?" Jason, "Nope. Like what?"
Um...there's got to be a better way. Let me show you how to make an omlette. You can throw course 5 into course 1 and make life easier.
So I am all excited that I am spicing up Jason's food life and I think it's something he can actually use in the future. Wrong.
How hard is making an omlette? I am seriously reconsidering my abilities as a cook. In 10 mins. I went from zero talent to master chef.
I showed how to crack a raw egg and separate the yolk from the white. Easy...no, not really. Jason tries and smashes the whole raw egg into the counter.
Um. EASY. Be gentle, Jason. Try it one more time. This time he smashes the whole egg in his fist and still tries to separate the white from the yolk.
At this point I am laughing out loud and looking around me to my fake audience to get some more laughs. No one is there to share in the moment. We try it again. The egg again gets molested.
We end up making scrambled eggs mixed with red and orange peppers, cherry tomatoes, and broccoli.
(I fucked up on the omlette part). He allowed me to put onion and garlic powder in the eggs, but no salt or any other spice was allowed. :)
It was so much fun. But he will never make an omlette for himself again. We are doomed to smell hard boiled eggs until Jason tries health shakes.