An Abundance of Stalkers Creep out Arlington Residents

Stalkers Demise
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Ah the fun of a stalker. As we all know, they can be a royal pain in the ass. As we all know, I felt a little bit jealous of certain friends because I am left out of the whole stalking experience and wanted a little bit attention. As soon as I muttered those magic words I was given the gift of two stalkers...(this is going back about a year). My first was Gay Eric, who was an asshole that called me all the time and wanted to go out all the time, etc. etc. and I finally got out of my life. The second is this rich old dude, Bill that would visit me at my bar every night when he was in town and tip insane amounts of money. Like 50-300 a night for pretty much nothing...fuck, I'll take it. So, anyway...apparently taking his money was a mistake, because he ended up wanting attention from me when he came in, and I whored it out for the cash. I started getting flowers, he sent a boquet on my birthday...another long story, and at one point asked me out (HA, so I fucked myself by asking for attention). He is now out of my life.
I have a new stalker. I am not proud of this one.
My new stalker is a Mexican (although he is probably from Ecuador or Cuba or somewhere far away from Mexico) version of Mr. Bean only NOT funny, like everyone thinks Mr. Bean is funny. (For the record, I really don't like Mr. Bean either, he creeps me out). This dude borders on psycho scary and grown men have told me they think he is sketchy.
Anyways, my first encounter is leaving to go get my car (that got towed, so I wasn't in the greatest mood) after a long day at work. It's dark and this bike with a weird gerry-rigged light system comes flying at me. I hear, "Joy!" as it approaches and I'm weirded out. I don't know a soul that rides around on a bike looking for me in the city. So I am like, "Yes?" He says he wants to talk to me about a job and as I ask him how he got my name, he unfolds this piece of paper with my name and the owner's name scribbled on it...weird...he doesn't know anyone that works there, and hasn't filled out an app. I can't talk, I need my car, but the dude keeps going and going. It's like pulling teeth to get him to agree to come back. I leave, thinking I'll never see him again. Next day, I am working my ass off for like 10 hours and he is there again to talk to me...FUCK. I want to blow him off, but feel like an asshole, so I talk to him...BIG mistake. He keeps rambling...and I speak Spanish, not the greatest, but I talk with everyone that works there and this dude is speaking jibberish and freaking me out. So I pass the interview to another dude. Who HIRES him, the asshole. So now I see this psycho scary dude every day, who comes in when he's not scheduled and follows me around the restaurant. He is a bus boy at this point, but he follows me around and shows me what he's cleaned like a proud little kid...and when I am on the floor he tries to talk to me and it just doesn't work because I speak English and Spanish, but not psycho babble. So I may have to kill a little bike riding Mexican stalker and bury him in the back parking lot. Or if I disappear, look for a skinny dude riding around Arlington on a bike.