Exhausted Burrito-Making Speed Demon Reluctantly Wipes Face with Ass Rag in a Horrible Laundry Mishap

I am realllly getting sick of driving. I drive every day. And not only do I drive every day, but I drive about 70 miles every day to butt fucking OLNEY, MD and back. I am really starting to hate Maryland. At least I am not training in the ghetto, but good lord, this commute is turning me into an evil and bitter person. And I find that I am SCREWED either way. If I take the map quest directions to 270, I hit traffic. If I take Conneticut all the way to 495, I hit traffic. If I merge onto 495 at 10pm, they are doing construction, and if it's at 6pm, there's plain old traffic. When I finally get onto the GW parkway or drive through DC to avoid the mess, I get behind idiots that go under the speed limit, or don't know where the fuck they are. When the clouds open and I see a little bit of sun shining on Rt. 50, I get a speeding ticket. And this is after driving 29/30 of the way. I am such a fucking idiot as to speed during my final stretch home.
This is my life. So I am now a bitter driver that is lazy and doesn't go out once I step foot inside my door.

With that said, I am *this* close to doing management stuff. Officially, that is. I think i am going to quit after a few months of the opening (gag), unless they severely cut my hours, or give me a big raise. I am a dipshit to take an offer while assuming my hours will be normal.

And I have discovered this job has made me lazy. If I have to cook anything I freak out, as I am around food all day and just want to avoid it. I hate doing laundry, although I try to do my clothes as soon as I get home so they don't permanently smell like the Mexican sweat hut. But this hampers on me doing any other kind of laundry. I have a load of whites up to the ceiling and therefore have no clean towels. I have been finishing up my showers with a hand towel the last three days. What are the odds that I am wiping my face with the same part I just used to wipe my ass?

So this is where the new job has come to. Not only do I have no life, but I am still broke. I guess God is trying to tell me that I am not cut out for a job and someone is just going to have to start paying me.