Friday, July 02, 2004

Ten toed clutz narrowly escapes impeding discovery in jungle

So I decided to be useful this afternoon and de-weed our "back yard." Oh what fun, but I have my mind made up that I am on a mission. I head downstairs to go out through the back door to find that our careful to the point of paranoid roommate (Jason) has quadruple-locked the door and literally thrown away the key. The ONLY key to open the back door. Now I don't know if he literally threw it away, but it's dead bolted, bar locked on the top and bottom, and locked on the knob itself. Hmmmm. I never got the key to the deadbolt. So...I decide to walk around the house to do my dirty work.
I cross land minds of weeds and grass clumps and spiderwebs and start mowing my way through with the hedge clippers. i got like 3 inches and desided my efforts were futile. Then I started doing a sweeping motion with the clippers like a machete, while teetering on the planter wood thingie and almost cut off my toe. I was wearing sandals, which Omar would later shake his head at and say I should never do any kind of labor with bare toes. To which I think, pish posh, I like being bare toed. So...with the narrow escape on the toe front, I decide, "Fuck it, I am buying a weed wacker." So, I decide to cut the dead vine hanging on our fence, and am kinda walking around with a huge set of clippers looking all weird and kind of shady as I am walking around the common area of our back yards, as opposed to walking INTO my fucking house like a normal person. I decide that I'll cut off a part of the neighbor's vine that is growing on the outside of his fence (The house is vacant and totally a jungle, ours is shameful beside it.) and grow roots on it and plant it somewhere. Well I freak out cause the part I cut had a bug on it and I think I semi-screamed like a little bitch and saw something move in the next yard over. Someone was WATCHING me through the cracks. That really made me freak out and I tried to run away, but tripped on a root and semi-falled, semi-gimped AROUND my house with the clippers in one hand, and half a branch in the other. Fucking nosy neighbors.

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