stories!

Omar's friend, Mike, is a liar and a shady individual that likes to IM me random stories. He thinks he is funny and likes to slander my good and gracious image.
I am filling all of you in on what REALLY happened.
So, I fly into New Orleans last weekend after my 2 double shifts at Ella's and before my 5 day work week at the magazine and I am fucking LOADED. Through my drunk haze I see Mike, chilling in the airport with two bottles of beer! Sweet. He is standing there jabbering about some jibber-jabber. I wasn't listening as I was concentrating on keeping my "Free wine as long as you fly with us" buzz going and all I could look at were the two bottles. Mike said some crap about how I was going to get laid, and I was all, "OK. Just hand over the booze pal." And he was all, "OK. Drink up, cause I told all my friends you'd be, oh I mean, WE'D be at the corner of 7th and H St every hour from 8-4, so hurry up.
And I was all, "Can I have a beer now, please?" He kept talking and talking and I tried my best to ignore him, but it was damn hard with all the other weird people hanging out it sketchville. We finally made it past all the weird airport freaks, including the Bible thumpers, security guards, and the Hare Krishnas that wouldn't take a slug of beer instead of money (the bastards!). We got into his lump of a car and man was it hot. It was so fricken hot, we could have been riding along in hell with the devil. Luckily the beer helped a little. And man was I thirsty, Mike stole my beer in the airport, what a tease! Luckily he had a packed cooler full of the stuff. He had so many stuffed animals in his car I thought for sure he was either a girl or a fag, we finally made it to the corner. I was up $1000 after the trip and don't remember much else...musta had fun.