Potential Burrito Slinging Ho Faces Her Demise at On Tap

Who would have thought quitting would be so hard? Yesterday was my final shift at Ella's and it was a great feeling. Yet I was secretly disappointed that no one cried about me leaving. No one begged me to stay. But everyone had questions and I owed it to myself to give everyone a better answer than the truth. While it's great that I am taking a management position, the title kinda seems like a let down. California Tortilla. I even fucked up the first time around and called it California Burrito. To save face when I was called out on the name, I replied that the owners were thinking of "trying something new in VA"...a little play on words, if you will. But between you and me, I think they will decide to keep the name the way it is. There is such a nice ring to California Tortilla...No need to mess it up by throwing the word Burrito in there.
Friday was the day to be me. I enjoyed letting my boss know I wouldn't stay past the week. That was fun, although it would have been nicer if she fucking looked me in the eye. While some people think it may be a compliment for another woman to stare only at your chest, I feel violated. Completely violated. I feel like I am back at the hell hole bar with the mullet-warrior manager sizing me up whenever I stepped in the closet-office to get yelled at. And instead of thinking, "man...I must have a nice rack..." I am instead wondering what the fuck is wrong with them? Is one sticking out further than the other? Is she trying to figure out if they are both pierced? She seems to favor my left breast...why is that? WTF, is there something wrong with the bra? My shirt? What is the deal? I should have said something to her, it would have been a nice finale. Oh, and by the way, weeble, I have TWO eyes and they are situated in my fucking head above by chest. Weebly Wobbly putz. Go get your daddy to pay to get your eyes fixed.
I went out like a true champ today. I am ditching my "Welcome on board as a sales rep" lunch where all of our new territories are divied up and am selling instead. I think I'll run up to the office while everyone is out so I can avoid seeing everyone.
I talked to my other boss who is upset I am leaving and made a point to tell me that I could have made things better by talking to her before I made my decision. Well...what can I say, some people were just bread to make tacos.
The beans and rice have been calling out my name and I can no longer ignore the "OY!" that will fit right in at the burrito stand.
With that said, I am going to get ready to sneak into my office for the last week of cubicle worthy work. Next time you all see me I will be reaking of pico de gallo and bring home guac.
Cheers.