Avid job seeker nearly dies serial killer style in Gaithersburg

So...just got back from a good show at the 9:30 club. Aimee Mann played and she did the Til Tuesday cover that I play over and over again when I have the track available. According to Heine Ho, it was easier for her to handle than David Bowie...!?! Um. It's better than all that Irish crap like Mary Black, dip! =) After which I was told I owe her a drink for insulting the Irish.
I have a beef to pick with couples that feel the need to make out in front of everyone on the fucking planet. This for once, is not directed at O and S...rather at everyone else at the show tonight. Waiting in line I am confronted with O and S, along with a couple in front of us making out. As I'm watching the show this bitch starts stroking her man's head and neck in front of me. Hello? I am right here and you are 2 inches in front of me. And she hit my drink, while I was drinking from it, to PDA his ass. So I put my drink on her seat when she stood up and Heine took it from me. Damnit. And then there was this old couple directly in front of me making out (in front of the bitch giving head [rubs])which was totally inappropriate amongst all of us that wanted to keep our drinks in our livers and blood streams. At one point they leaned their heads together and blocked the whole damn stage. What's up with that? If you are going to make out, make it worthwhile and have sex in the bathroom, but let me see the show. The couple next to me/behind me is leaning against each other while the guy (next to me/behind me) is so close his breathing moves my hair and he touches my ass every 5 seconds. I got more action tonight than I've gotten in a long time, do people not get out much? Is it that much better to make out in front of everyone and their mothers? If so, I need to jump on that train. I hereby make a solemn promise to make everyone I know (and everyone else) SICK TO THEIR STOMACHS if I ever get a guy that will make out with me. We will do it everywhere. Church, banks, bars, gas stations, fucking concerts, EVERYWHERE. I will get even with everyone that has made me ill, or taken up my personal space with their kissy face antics. I promise.

With that said, I had a helluva time driving out to fucking Gaithersburg yesterday for the "awesome" job offer, that was, of course, to good to be true. 50-70K my ass. I got stuck on the Dulles Toll Road (not the local traffic side either...the "to the airport" side). I proceeded to drive the 20 minute commute to the fucking airport and passed about 8 cop U-turn areas that I had to go avoid because with my luck, I would have gotten pulled over. I was bitter. I got stuck on it because I was behind a huge bus that splattered rain and backwash on me while I was sandwiched into traffic. I missed the sign that told me I was an idiot and exiting onto the Dulles Toll Road. The detour took 40 minutes out of my commute and royally pissed me off. I then haul ass and follow my mapquest directions to be told to get off on exit 5A on 270 and drive 2.7 miles until 270N, which I should get on. Um...Didn't I just battle through traffic on 270N and get off for 5A? What the hell is going on? I get back on 270N. Whoever is in charge of Mapquest needs to fucking lay down the law on their bitches doing the directions. Are they fucking with us on purpose? I just drove around buttfucking Maryland and past the Booze-Allen golf course, toured the Greeneries and produce stands, for NOTHING. I finally get to where I need to be (exit 13A) and my destination ends up in an apartment complex. Who the hell sends a potential employee to an apartment complex without telling them, "Hey, when you get to 20000 Frederick Avenue, SUITE 32, it's really apartment 32 in the Oakwood apartment complex"? I drove past the complex twice, drove in parking lots in front of and behind the complex, double checked directions, and called the number to make sure I had the right place. Cornell (?!?) didn't pick up the phone, so I had to leave a message. I didn't know if I should have waited or what...he called back. Apparently he DOES run his 15 year old business in his house...ok...I figure I'll give him the benefit of the doubt...I just want to hear him out, but I know already with the commute and his crazy business/living situation I am out.
I go in, it's bare, like serial killer bare. There's a dining room table full of mail and crap, there's a dark hallway, there's a computer desk with a computer and lots of crap on it. There's the little island/window ledge leading to his kitchen. On the ledge is a 1/3 bottle of WHITE ZINFINDEL. Who the fuck drinks that? And if you were an avid white zin drinker, it needs to be in the fridge. C'mon! That immediately took him down a couple notches, not to mention the fact that he locked the door when I came in.
About 15 minutes later I decide, hey...this isn't the job for me. The reason? The commute. "If you don't want to drive in traffic you could come in around 7 (pm)"...um...but you just said you want someone here to answer the phones so you don't miss out on business. Who calls a business writer after 7pm? Sketchy. After the "interview" is over, I leave and he says he'll call me in about a week after he talks to other candidates. Sure, buddy. And I will eagerly jump at the offer to work out of your shady pad. Fuck off.
Anyone out there with a valid job offer? Please share. I need all the help I can get, or I should keep going to the crap offers and write a book about how shitty the job offers/market is. Maybe that'll please my parents. (I told my dad about the shady place and his first response was that the guy was using his "business" as a drug front.) =) And I thought he was just trying to lure women to his place! Fear not, father, I will not become a drug mule unless I get the money up front.

Update: I'm giving my notice to Ella's tomorrow. Yay.