Friends are like Assholes.

Yeah. I think this about sums up how I feel. I have bitched and moaned in the past. I know it. So does pretty much everyone that knows me. Here comes another one that may be a tad bit justified.

Ever leave your tax paperwork at a bar? On purpose? With someone you really trust? No? Maybe it's just a Beattie that would do that...but I did in any case...with someone I have known a very, very long time.

A month later and still...no word...no word about my taxes being done, but many conversations that include things like, "Oh! He has your taxes, he's just really busy..." and "No word...I'll let you know..." Well after over a month of this interaction I end up wising up and call my "accountant" to find he never, ever, EVER, got my tax paperwork. Not ever. Not in 2006, anyway. WTF is going on? A solid week of phone calls to pretty much everyone, except my friend's mother, many voicemails, and many trips to the bar (without drinking!) and it's like the friend dropped off the face of the planet. I know I'm intimidating. I know. But scary enough to not return a vm (it's easy...no contact w/ me is truly needed. No text message. Nothing. Who does that? At this point it is April 8 and I am panicking...This means I have to call employers I don't want to talk to...the bank, etc. AND file an extension...something I've never done. Great...but it gets done. Today is April 11 and I got it all accomplished. And still, no word from said friend.

I even called the accountant again, to make sure my stuff didn't get lost. How great do I sound, that my "friend" doesn't talk to me? Am I making my mystery friend up? I may as well have put everything together, wrapped it in a bow, and thrown it in the trash. What gives...

My new pal, the tax man gives me the best call ever this afternoon...right after I mailed off the extension and checked off my "people to call" list to get copies of everything. He got the taxes! Yay! Still no call from the friend.

On top of it...it turns out my "day job" employer has been filing my state taxes wrong...so I owe VA $1K and am getting $1K back from DC...in like a year, or whenever they feel like giving someone money...nothing really gets done in DC...lovely. When you Beattie your taxes, you Beattie your damn taxes.

Hence the wonderful artwork.