Green Faced Sot Scores Beer Points Against Albino Rival

Ginger Altoids. What an evil, evil creation. I bought a pack for $1.69 this weekend on a personal dare. I just wanted to see what the fuck Altoids was thinking by making a Ginger breath mint. Well...it's weird. I spit one at Omar tonight in self defense. I don't quite know what the defense was, but my best retaliation involved spitting the altoid at him. Sorry O. It tasted like ass and I was pissed at you for some reason.
Today was eventful. I sliced myself on a plastic bottle at work...what are the odds. I should live in a bubble. Got into meaningful conversations with random men at Sheila's bar. I must have been pretty hammered, as she offered food for me to soak up the booze. I totally kicked O's ass in beer pong. I nailed his beer with a french fry. Which, for those of you who do or do not aim random objects at your friends' beer, well...it's hard to get a long french fry into a pint of beer. A perfectly shaped ball of paper is easy, however. Speaking of which, he got me back with a measly piece of paper. Totally not as cool. But I guess I won in the end...with the altoid.

Burritoville is giving away shitty coupons to shitty clientelle. I think the last batch of free shit was sent to an oldspeople home because. Whoa. Sheila just walked in on me. Blogging. I feel so violated. I am blogging in bed. And I just got out of the shower. And before you are all like, "WHOA." Let me say, I am in pjs, all hiding from her and I am wearing a mask (as in green face mask, cause I haven't done it in like a week). So...Now that I was driven off my line of thought I will go on to say,
who the fuck orders ONE measly shooter from a bartender? Who does that. Single people (people who go to bars alone, not single as in not dating, people) order TWO shots. One for me, one for you, type of things. Well this one girl (who, by the way is like Sheila's big butch sister, orders 8, EIGHT, shooters for a group of people she is serving. Eight shooters, no big deal, Joy... Um, yeah, it is when you get eight individual shooters. What was she thinking? Here is the list,
1 Alabama Slammer
1 Anti-freeze
1 B52
1 Baby Guinness
1 Bahama-Mama
1 Between the Sheets
1 Girl Scout Cookie
1 Jolly Rancher
1 Kamikaze
Oh, Ok, nine shooters. NINE. Why not make it ten, at that rate...I can only imagine Heine Ho's face. I would have laughed my ass off. And then proceeded to make 9 wimpy kamikaze shots in spite of the 5 inch ticket at service bar. Which, thank God, Sheila (sort of) did. She make 4 Red Headed Sluts (isn't even on the ticket) and 5 Kamikaze's which she added color to, to make them into Jolly Ranchers, Between the sheets, bahama mamas, anti-freezes, etc.
Those bastards should die for ordering that, and the clone of Sheila should wake up and improve her game.
Now, back to my story on work...so we have been getting random people coming in clutching these huge postcard coupons for free burritos. Despite the fact that I give a shitload of the same coupon to my friends for free food, I find it offensive that these people expect free food from me. I don't know them. They are too cheap to buy a drink. Or chips. And are breathing my air. They should really just go away and leave me alone. So, these people are hilarious in the fact that they don't know how to pronounce "burrito" let alone understand what it is, and it's even better to get them to say "queso" or "quesadilla." It's almost worth the coupon.
I miss bartending. You can be an asshole to someone that orders 9 different shots. But to holler at an old lady that wants a free steak burrito, with no beans, a little rice, no salsa, extra sour cream, with guacamole, only romaine lettuce, and extra chease just makes me feel like an ass.