Pet Peeves Part I

Now that the pressure is on for me to create a pet peeve list that will amaze and entertain...I am at a loss, which is something utterly new to me...but I'm sure I can whip phase one into gear easily. The first one has been bugging me for a long time.

1) Dirty public bathrooms. You know how it's ok to live in your own filth because it's your germs, but it's disgusting to be around it in public places? Well, that's how I feel about dirty public bathrooms. Especially the ladies. What is up with making a little shit and urine tornado in the women's stalls? Aren't you ladies (Hey, by definition, you wouldn't be a lady if you were to be this aweful...) embarrassed when you do it? Or are you just pigs to leave the stall that everyone will be grossed out to use? The next girl that goes in is going to see that you like to pee like a 3 year old. Little fairies don't come in and clean stalls in between uses, if you were wondering. I mean really, what makes someone get off by buying something trivial and then capping off the experience by acting like a pig in the restroom? Get it in gear, people! I am not the shit patrol and don't get paid to wipe your ass or your toilet seat after you. And I hate and I mean abhor telling my staff to clean up after you too. That shouldn't be my job. Learn to pee in a hole.

(See...maybe the pet peeve list isn't such a good idea...there will be a ton of ranting...but maybe it will make a difference in the lives of my 5 readers.)

Looking for #2...KIDS!

Ok, I like kids...kids who are well behaved and pretty quiet. Either that or the exact opposite: Kids who are little devils to parents who deserve the abuse. However, I really don't like hanging out with kids when I'm out in public trying to live life without a headache. The screaming and the running around, and the "about to fall off stuff you shouldn't be on" events drive me nuts. I think the quote in Mallrats about the kid left unattended on the escalator caps off my thoughts on kids. They are cool if they are well behaved, but if they are teetering on the edge of a table they climbed up on, well...take them home. I can't dig the snot all over the place or the wailing that occurs after I look at them. Maybe it's the parents I have issues with. Yeah. I think it's the parents. Regardless I'm getting a dog when I want a kid. No offense to all you kid lovers out there, I'm just not converted yet.

3) People who don't say thank you when it's deserved.

I'm not one of those psychos that want you to thank me everytime I do something nice for you. Well, maybe I am. My mom taught me (by training, mind you...borderline bullying) that we had to say thank you whenever we were given anything or people do something kind for us, etc. Well people in this area usually SUCK at it. I'm going to give you an example that has happened to me multiple times, so you are converted: This 20something girl left her purse at my restaurant the other day. I hate it when this happens, because I have to do something about it. I feel like shit going through the purse to get identification, but I'd want someone to contact me if roles were reversed. I could just shove it in the safe or go through it looking for cash and wait for the person to play Sherlock Holmes and figure out where they left it. I choose the more humane route and pull out an insurance card or credit card and play detective myself. This takes up a lot of my valuable time as the insurance people and credit card folks think I either stole the ID, let alone purse, or don't understand why I'm calling. They are probably thinking, "Who saves a purse/wallet??? You didn't scrap it and keep the cash?" After my calls are made I save the purse and wait for the dumbass to come get it. She does and with no comment at all save the, "I am here for my purse," she leaves. ? Ok. I'd like kiss/hug someone if they did that for me. And all I'm looking for is a thank you. Please don't kiss/hug me. Unless you are hot. And a guy.

Alright, my ranting can continue, however, I am more happy than mean spirited. At least tonight, anyway, so I am taking a break from the ranting.

Drinking in Baltimore is Good for Your Health.

baltimore
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

Today Sheila and I trekked back to the working life after a mini-vacation of fun in Baltimore.
I love vacations that include drinking and seeing the local life (of bars...) Not that that is all we did, we spent a lot of time checking out the hotel too.
This is the first time in my life that I ever raided a mini bar (it's worth it), the first time I ever got breakfast delivered (it's worth it), the first time I ever lounged in a hotel to take a break to go drink (SO AWESOME).
I can't wait to do it again. Cheers, Sheila!

Besides all of that, I tried Yoohoo (the drink) for the first time tonight. It's mighty tasty. It's a helluva lot better than chocolate milk and I am wondering why I never gave it a shot before...

I haven't posted in awhile...but there have been a ton of things that happen to me and my instant reaction is, "I can't wait to blog about that!" Which...makes me a bit insane, I know...but still.

I am going to start a pet peeve list...and by pet peeve I mean that it's a good thing this isn't really my world because anyone doing the things on my pet peeve list would immediately be banished or just plain shot. And I would definitely enjoy doing it.

But I am not really in the mood to write about all that jazz at the moment.
But it's going to be good. Like really, really good.
With that, I have gotta go and get pissed off so I have something to write about.

Thailand Produces A Potty Trained Poopin' Elephant!

the poopin elephant
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

As promised, here is some new artwork. If it is possible to get a huge ass elephant to poop in the right place, how come it's so hard to get a tiny little dog to do it???
Props to Thailand for producing such a fine specimen.
In addition to drawing pooping elephants, I shoveled a ton of snow today with Sheila, bored myself with tv, and ate spaghetti-os, which weren't all that I thought they would be.
I made eye contact and had a mini-conversation with a really good looking police officer this morning. I know! It's shocking, as I am not normally looking for love with government workers, but I'd let him cuff me.
Whoa! Deejah-vu. I just looked out my window and saw Sheila. Freaky, hope she doesn't think I was spyin on her. Heh.
I'm off to dream about good looking cops.

Beattie's Dreams Return in Full Force

Dreams are back. And weird dreams at that. I have had an issue with sleeping lately. When I say that, I mean that I can't sleep until the wee hours of the morning because my mighty brain just keeps on chugging. When I do fall asleep or want to sleep, it is when normal people are doing normal things. And I love taking naps and have no issues with sleeping all day. There is a problem with me.
So, segueing into dreams (is that how you spell segueing?)...I dreamed a lot of weird stuff last night, but my personal favorite, which is the only one I'll mention, dealt with my family. My brothers and my father were in the dream and we were at my grandmother's house where my father grew up. We were all sitting watching tv, and my roommate O was there with some friends (odd). My brother (in real life) plays football for the Gophers and I am really proud of it and don't shut my trap about it. So...I'm talking about him and all of a sudden there's a commercial on tv and Donny (brother) is dressed in his football uniform and dressed in a kiddy dinosaur costume (think Barney) and is dancing around in a cereal commercial. And I freak out and am like, DUDE, that's my brother! He's on tv. He's so cool. I am really weird about his great acting abilities as a dinosaur and don't realize he's in the living room with me. Then Doug, Donny, and I start throwing random shit at each other. O and everyone else was not impressed with Donny's fame. I was.
And with that I am going to spend my day off with all the kids that are off of school because of the mounds of snow we just got! It's sunny and not a damn mound of snow in sight. Ah, Virginia.

$40 Million Better buy a Damn Good 4 years and a Fine Cake.

I got home from work tonight and started watching the news...ok, after I watched the O.C. and some of the other tivo'd stuff we've got laying around...As I'm watching CNN I am hit with this, "Bush Inauguration to cost 40 million dollars." WHAT? This has to be a joke...40, as in forty...million! dollars. Um. What happened to all the tsunami relief funds and charity events? And what happened to all the mud in California. Is it just me or is this a huge joke. There better be an open bar. If I had $40 million...Way to go.

My own Private Island on New Years Eve

new years
Originally uploaded by joy and pain.

I spent New Years Eve bowed over the toilet, but not in the typical, "whoa I drank too much" way, more in the, "WHEN am I going to get over the flu?" kind of way. I got sick before New Years Eve and still have the bug. I still went out, cause damned if I was going to stay home on New Years, but...man, with all the meds I took, I probably should have stayed home. I was on my own private island for awhile. I drank half a bottle of dayquill and took some cold medicine too...and got all fuzzy/loopy so decided not to drink. This made me the designated driver and all too sober companion to the masses of drunk people at the party we wound up at.
I had the most boring conversations with people about drunk stuff I didn't care about since I wasn't drinking. I longed to go home (alone!) and sleep. I said to myself about a million times, "I need a drink." And then proceeded to grab a cranberry juice on the rocks. I got spit on by some dude who couldn't keep his tongue in his mouth when talking. I almost got puked on by this girl who passed out/fell with her full beer. I got champagne sprayed on my ass when someone openned a bottle. I got a captain and coke spilled on me. I got kissed by dudes I've considered brothers, which really freaked me out. Some chick said I was beautiful...random, but thanks! I found myself going to the bathroom for amusement, going outside with smokers to escape the heat in the party, and making what sounded like drunk phone calls, but were really just escape routes that failed. All in all, it was an extremely interesting night in which I ended up looking really smart and "together"...or a stuck up bitch that never chilled out. But in the end, I got to see people I haven't seen in a very long time. I got a wee bit of action...albeit a little bit uncomfortable...and I didn't spend New Years alone, sick. So, I had a decent New Years. Hope you all did too, but I am still offering my word to the wise: DON'T DD on major holidays. Don't over medicate, and DO drink because everyone else is anyway and it isn't all that grand being the only one getting spilled on.

Fun stuff! Hope I have a speedier recovery than the current situation I am in. I am on day 5 of whatever flu this is and my roommates are in for a doosey.