At the top of my blog site, there is an advertisement that is custom made according to the info on my blog...this morning it was advertising information about sleep disorders...what are they trying to say about me???

the only dream i remember from last night is working in this podunk Irish pub. I was cocktailing, but was bartending as well. Every booth had its own bar...it was a weird set-up. The owner, who was a grumpy old man like the ASSHOLE i used to work for (Tommy C, btw) ordered a cocoa martini. I was like, ok...i can DO this! i grabbed vodka, white and dark creme de menthe, and baileys...for some reason, i made an awesome cocoa martini, and shook it up, looking for a martini glass, when the pint i was shaking it in shattered. fuck. now what, i looked for another glass to make another drink in and there were none. there were no glasses at any table. i finally found one, then the liquors were gone. i finally found them and made it again and set it down in front of him. i had a little extra, which is taboo, and i slickly dumped it on the ground so if he asked if i had any left, i'd be like, "well no i don't, would you look at that?" he spit the martini out and said it was too sweet. fucker. he only wanted me to use one cassis and the vodka...i told him that that drink wouldn't be a cocoa martini. he just looked at me. it reminded me a lot of my old 'boss'...fucker.

oooh, i remember another one. i was hanging out with heine and she found a guy (she was single btw in the dream) and the guy and her were getting pretty close, and our groups ended up splitting up for awhile. then i ended up in this hotel/weird room where we were crashing and heine wanted to come in with the dude. well, her mom and dad wouldn't let them in because they could smell them from across the room. hah.

and then i was in gym class again. but i was watching it from a balcony with these people i used to go to school with. there was a group of kids playing basketball, some were getting ready to swim, and some were tumbling. it was a weird dream. the tumblers had one tiny girl, one reg girl, and a big one. the big one was pulling herself up by the arms and passing herself to the other ones. the little chick was struggling to hold the big one up and barely made it. it was weird.

then i was at out summer cabin at the lake. i remember my crabby grandmother was there, as were some friends and family members...i think that's where heine's smelly dream began.

i dreamed i was at my high school again, the school was different, but there were people there that i did go to school with. i was looking for a parking spot in my eclipse and it was a really shitty day as far as snow was concerned. it was everywhere and blocked the parking lot and made it hard to see which areas were legal to park in and which would land you a ticket. i passed a primo spot, but had to turn around to get it, and some bitch got it before i could make it back. in the time it took for her to get the spot, i saw a car full of my friends, dan, jimmy, and dave. then a car with these dudes i was friends with from high school drove past, they also got a good spot. i ended up parking next to a school bus full of freshmen from another school that was there for a sporting event...and i was in my explorer this time. then i backed up and was attempting to get a better spot, and all of a sudden i was on a bike...?...i ended up walking to the school, which had an outdoor cafeteria that was under constuction and ended up in the smallest "auditorium" ever. we were watching the seniors walk in a weird procession. they weren't wearing caps or gowns and were just walking around and half of us were watching, not participating...

then i was in my graduation, i was so excited and was looking for my mom in the crowd. it was my turn to grab my diploma and smile for a pic and shake hands and stuff, but i unzipped my gown and didn't have my cap on. so i was in a rush to get it all done and the guy giving us the diploma stopped me and helped me with my cap and it was all videotaped.

then i was walking around with sheila and omar and we were trying to get somewhere ( i don't know where)...but it was something for me and we had enough time to stop in a bar and grab a drink and i was going to be late. we were hanging out in this super tiny mountain town, it was really odd...

and i was in a weird gymnasium setting with a bar, i was talking to friends and these girls were jump roping lext to us a little ways away. my friends were talking about one of the jumpers, who was a girl we went to high school with. she used to be really pretty but got cancer and went on a weird treatment that deformed her face and made her hair permanently short. my friends were saying that she shouldn't have gone on the meds and it was a shame she changed. this older lady next to us said it was a good thing the jumping girl had friends like us...and the girl came up to the bar area and heard part of the conversation. we were all embarrased as she found out what we were talking about. and she got really mad at the lady and said we were right and couldn't believe what it did to her. it turns out the lady was her mom and made her go on the meds and she would have been fine without them...

and i was on a trip with my family. my dad was there, and i remember my mom and brother were as well. it was a long one, but i don't remember it clearly. i just remember certain members leaving for the trip and coming back and that i really wanted to go on a road trip. i remember driving down the highway with a guy i didn't know. i am assuming he was really hot and we were an awesome couple...anyway...we were on a great roadtrip i can't remember.

the end, i have to pee and get the bar smell off of me from last night and go to work.

i dreamed that v and i were hanging out in my room and i was freaking out because i couldn't see my car. she was like, it's right there, and pointed out the window. then i pointed at this blanket on the floor and was all excited because it was "a winner." this dude on the radio was calling out winning numbers and i was a second place winner. i won a trip to anywhere in the US for 3 days and 4 nights. i was so excited. i told v i would take her and i couldn't decide where to go.

last night i dreamed that i was in a train with a bunch of friends and this couple i don't know, but supposedly knew in the dream. they were getting married and we were on our way to where the wedding was being held. the train was huge and felt more like a hotel room than a train car...and the bride to be had a huge shoe collection and one pair of bright red strappy shoes she was convinced someone was going to steal. she kept her eyes on us. we were also on our way for her to pick up her wedding shoes; i guess she had a thing for shoes. so i was in the couple's bathroom. oh and for all of you that were waiting for me to have a sex dream, here comes the warped joy version:
i come out of the bathroom and the groom shows me how to put on a condom. it's more a description than anything else. he doesn't demonstrate on himself, from what i remember. but the girl is in her bed and the guy is about to get in and i'm just hanging out like an idiot. no one else is there, yet i'm hanging out. i wasn't spying on them and they didn't ask me to to stay or go, i was just there. i wake up in the same bed alone, like they disappeared. maybe they were pissed at me for staying in their room like an idiot and left, i don't know.

i go into another room to give them their space and meet up with my cousin that has been in my dreams the past few nights, and some friends. we are hanging out in this room that looks a lot like the living room my grandmother used to have. we are watching tv while sitting on the floor and i end up talking to my cousin in the bathroom and the kitchen.

what a thrilling experience.

i got the best parking spot last night, it was pretty close to the main strip we were going to be hanging out at, it was on a crowded street, the parallel parking was perfect. walked out to the car hours later and there was a damn parking ticket on it. :( the no parking sign was all bent up and at the front of the street, blocked by a tree, etc. beaten by the man again!

so, i went to bed having to pee and i was wondering if everyone does that at some point, or if i am just truly lazy. i was so tired and my bed looked so warm, i jumped in and had to pee all night.

in the first dream i remembered i was at this festival that was help at cap city (this bar i used to work) and the bar was morphed into my old church...it was a combination of buildings. i had to pee (go figure) and was in line for the bathroom. there were dividers and roped off sections of the line, just like at amusement parks, which is a first for the bar...and when i got into the bathroom, it was so huge. the stalls had wooden doors and sides with blinds that could be opened, which was weird, and some of the stalls had 2 toilets in each...which grossed me out.
at one point i was peeing and there were 4 ladies next to me in the same stall. they were all old and one of their heads was up over the divider in my stall, so i slapped her. she got all pissed off and i told her her head shouldn't be in my stall. she said she wasn't watching me, it was crowded in her stall and i told her that i had an issue with people watching me pee.

then i went outside and my family was waiting in line for food. my dad was wearing this courdoroy/velvet (i couldn't tell) striped suit. it was striped, but all one color...he looked like a pimp. no one else was dressed up that i can remember. so my mom and dad got salmon sandwhiches (at a festival?!?) my mom took one bite and was grossed out, but didn't say anything to the fish-cookers...she kept eating it.
aparently there was a contest going on at the end of the festival. i had friends that kept coming up to me and hugging me and i was trying to show off for the guy that was announcing the singers on stage. this one friend that hugged me (was hot) and he said someone stole the words to his song...so he was going to sing a recipe instead. i told him he was going to win!
the chicken guy (the guy who was selling chicken sandwhiches) is the guy that stole the music, so my brother, sister, and i had nothing we wanted to eat. we settled on hamburgers. my cousin and aunt were serving them; they have been in my last couple of dreams...

next dream: i was raiding this school with two friends of mine. it was in the middle of no where and apparently one of the friends really wanted to go there. we were running down a staircase, and all of a sudden, in the middle of two floors there was this piano set up, with glasses of wine, and food all over the landing. this messed up our "running away" plan because we had to step over everything to avoid a huge noise and mess. we made it, and ended up in a huge cafeteria. i was trying to convince my friend that it was still a cool school...and then we are running out of it. the school is in a huge field in the middle of no where and there is a dirt road perpendicular to it that goes on forever. there is one more building that had a glass top floor. the faculty were sitting around a huge table eating. they were all dressed up and looked really evil. this one lady that we knew, apparently, got up from the table and peered down at us. then there was a fire or a tornado or something because it got all black outside and dark low clouds were everywhere and we ran the hell away from there. it reminded me of "Return to Oz"

and then i woke up and peed.

i had so many weird dreams last night...
in one i was at my family's cabin on the lake we used to go to as kids. i was sitting on the dock eating a sandwhich and it fell in the water. all of a sudden this duck swam over and grabbed it and was fighting with it. i was laying on the dock with my feet in the water and my uncle was like, "i wouldn't lay like that if i were you" and pointed at my feet. there was this really weird jelly like substance coming up out of the water by my toes. it got bigger and bigger and jumped up on the dock. it was a person all covered in goo. my uncle told me they were the new jelly fish and i should stay away from them. i pushed it back in the water. it was weird while the man/jelly fish was chasing me his life story was being told out loud like a tv program. then he disappeared.

in another one i was hanging out with my family. i was sharing a room with my sister again and she had some awesome flowers that were dying, so i cut the ends and put some wine in a vase and started rearranging them, but she walked in on me doing it. all of a sudden i was in a bathroom. i don't know if i was showering, or what but i was half nekked and had to run back to my room without my family seeing me. so i grabbed a hand towel and held it in front of my ass and ran out. i think i made it. there was all this stuff on my bed that someone put there from downstairs (like they were cleaning up my crap to get it out of the way). one of the things on my bed was a box of flava pops that weren't frozen. i never eat those...my sister had a box of tootsie rolls. i was a little jealous...and i heard my step grandma saying goodbye and congrats to my sister, who was jingling a set of keys (did she get a car???) i didn't want to have to talk to my grandma, so i stayed upstairs.

next dream, i was hanging out with all my friends from high school. i was driving a friend's car and we were trying to get out of a festival and couldn't seem to get away.

then i was in this house with all my family members from my mom's side, and some other random people were there, including this girl i used to bartend with. my cousin was going to play a guitar she found behind this set of curtains, but it wasn't tuned and she didn't have a "tuner" so she asked me for one. i told her i didn't have one and she got all frustrated. a few minutes later, my friend the old bartender, came up with this box of new weird equipment that looked like it worked with a computer. she said it was for the guitar and plugged one part in to it, and put headphones on me and plugged it in too. apparently i was the middle man between the guitar and my cousin, and the rest of the family. i was supposed to talk while she played. ? i said no, but they made me. i remember speaking to my grandma about her computer. she wanted a colored monitor for her computer. and then my other cousin was making shots for everyone. my guitar playing cousin ordered a half jager half ambuca (doesn't exist) and i remember all of a sudden a full bar appeared and i helped him get his shit together. he made the shot, which i took as well, and i almost puked. somehow baileys ended up in it as well.

it was so nice out yesterday so i opened my window. all morning the wind has been blowing my door open, and slaming it a second later. and it's fucking freezing in here. i thought someone was spying on me, and not being to slick about it as they were slamming the door...damn wind and windows and loose doors! if it wasn't for the combination i'd be in bed until 2 or 3!!!

i had so many weird dreams last night...
in one i was at my family's cabin on the lake we used to go to as kids. i was sitting on the dock eating a sandwhich and it fell in the water. all of a sudden this duck swam over and grabbed it and was fighting with it. i was laying on the dock with my feet in the water and my uncle was like, "i wouldn't lay like that if i were you" and pointed at my feet. there was this really weird jelly like substance coming up out of the water by my toes. it got bigger and bigger and jumped up on the dock. it was a person all covered in goo. my uncle told me they were the new jelly fish and i should stay away from them. i pushed it back in the water. it was weird while the man/jelly fish was chasing me his life story was being told out loud like a tv program. then he disappeared.

in another one i was hanging out with my family. i was sharing a room with my sister again and she had some awesome flowers that were dying, so i cut the ends and put some wine in a vase and started rearranging them, but she walked in on me doing it. all of a sudden i was in a bathroom. i don't know if i was showering, or what but i was half nekked and had to run back to my room without my family seeing me. so i grabbed a hand towel and held it in front of my ass and ran out. i think i made it. there was all this stuff on my bed that someone put there from downstairs (like they were cleaning up my crap to get it out of the way). one of the things on my bed was a box of flava pops that weren't frozen. i never eat those...my sister had a box of tootsie rolls. i was a little jealous...and i heard my step grandma saying goodbye and congrats to my sister, who was jingling a set of keys (did she get a car???) i didn't want to have to talk to my grandma, so i stayed upstairs.

next dream, i was hanging out with all my friends from high school. i was driving a friend's car and we were trying to get out of a festival and couldn't seem to get away.

then i was in this house with all my family members from my mom's side, and some other random people were there, including this girl i used to bartend with. my cousin was going to play a guitar she found behind this set of curtains, but it wasn't tuned and she didn't have a "tuner" so she asked me for one. i told her i didn't have one and she got all frustrated. a few minutes later, my friend the old bartender, came up with this box of new weird equipment that looked like it worked with a computer. she said it was for the guitar and plugged one part in to it, and put headphones on me and plugged it in too. apparently i was the middle man between the guitar and my cousin, and the rest of the family. i was supposed to talk while she played. ? i said no, but they made me. i remember speaking to my grandma about her computer. she wanted a colored monitor for her computer. and then my other cousin was making shots for everyone. my guitar playing cousin ordered a half jager half ambuca (doesn't exist) and i remember all of a sudden a full bar appeared and i helped him get his shit together. he made the shot, which i took as well, and i almost puked. somehow baileys ended up in it as well.

it was so nice out yesterday so i opened my window. all morning the wind has been blowing my door open, and slaming it a second later. and it's fucking freezing in here. i thought someone was spying on me, and not being to slick about it as they were slamming the door...damn wind and windows and loose doors! if it wasn't for the combination i'd be in bed until 2 or 3!!!

I HATE WOODY ALLEN MOVIES

I HATE WOODY ALLEN MOVIES

i fell asleep during his most recent flick, which drove home the fact that a) i should have read the back of the dvd before i rented it, b) that two binge drinkers should never go to happy hour and then rent three movies and expect to get through a 2 hour feature film and c) that two girls should never go rent movies together...one person at a time brings better results...
i fell asleep to woody allen and wasted 2 hours i will never get back.

dreams are back!

ok i have to get ready for work, so i am going to try to be quick...
in one dream i bought these cool, hard to find posters for o and i was so excited about it, because it was something he'd really like. i told sheila about them and she agreed that he'd like them. he finally came home (we were still living together, but the house was different) and he was apathetic and it turned out he already had one of the posters...i was pissed. end of scene.

next sheila and i were in a computer lab thing and teachers (who were really young) came in. we were in a testing area apparently. sheila was so nervous; she had to put a collection of photos together. a friend of mine, shannon, was also in the dream. she let all of us stay at her house one night and gave us the pics. then her fiance came home and was sorta pissed we were all there...weird. ok, so sheila finished her project and while she was working, i was taking my own test. i was speedy about it too, i finished in seven minutes, when it should have taken 20...got a B, but have no clue what it was about.

then sheila and i are walking down a huge, empty street and it's really dark. there's snow and slush everywhere and cars are parked on the street, but no one is around. i told her that this is how i kept dreaming the end of the world would be, and it was very apoctalyptic. she thought i was weird. then this girl picked us up in a cab and said she'd drive us where we wanted to go. all of a sudden bandit is with us. the woman said she had errands to run so she wouldn't charge us the fare since we went along with her and they were far away from where we were going. when she said this i was opening a pack of colored pencils i had when i was a kid. we ended up driving down Arlington Ridge, but the street never ended. sheila and i started playing this game: we'd take 3 houses right next to each other and pick the one we wanted to live in. the houses were still huge, but different from what is really there. and while we were driving, the cab driver was in the back seat with us and ended up not driving the cab...?

all of us end up at a bar that looks a lot like the 4 Courts. we meet up and the group keeps getting bigger and bigger. i suggest that we should get a table because it's important that i talk to o about painting our place.

and it doesn't end there! but it's too scrambled and i need to shower and need coffee for work, so i'm audi 5000.

miss me?

here is the long awaited post...i can't remember many dreams lately since i am constantly woken up by the damn alarm! and it isn't mine! a note to the mysterious alarm that magically goes off in the godforsaken hours before i need to get up: shut it off, dammit. if it happens again i think i'll call you and wake you up and tell you to turn it off!

i do remember, however, one of the dreams last night...it goes a little something like this: i was in a commune-like setting. i was surrounded by people i knew, but i couldn't place them in my real life...except for sheila and her parents, who were there. and the place we were hanging out is somewhere i've been before. in real life about 6 years ago, i stayed at a friend's house in boulder, co...and was only there for about a week. the commune scenario takes place in the friend's apartment...anyway i remember sheila and i were in a huge rush; we were on our way to work. we were getting dressed and i realized after i was supposedly all set to go, that i forgot to put on underwear. problem. everyone was leaving together (that was the general feeling at the time, leading up to my sense of panic!) i didn't want to strip in front of everyone, so i tried to get to the bathroom. i finally made it in, found my underwear, and tried to put it on. then people kept trying to get in the door. i remember sheila opened it and stuck her head in and i hid behind something and was acting like i was just hanging out...wearing underwear like everyone else. like she would have known just by looking at me...i was in the clear! i was so weirded out by the situation. and there was no solution at the end of the dream! was i found out?

another reason why i have neglected my blog is that i've been coming home the last couple of nights sooooo drunk and tired that i go right to sleep. it would be too much effort to type! and i have sheila's parents to thank for that. i couldn't keep up and can't imagine how they got by the days after our drinking binges...i love hanging out with them and am so glad they adopted me for the week.

end of blog...to my faithful 3 (?) readers...was it worth the wait???

What is it about being an 18 year old girl that is so attractive to men? Especially old men? Is it that everyone is secretly a child molester and decides to get by the barely legal way? Or if you reach an age where women your own age don't want you, you figure you'll fit in with the fresh meat and will be so much more attractive since you can buy them wine coolers? And because you look rich because you are making more than minimum wage and can help out with homework? If i knew i could get an older guy when i was 18 i would have promoted myself a little bit better...damn it.

Moving on....Angel got cancelled and my room mate was crying about it last night.
i have no clue what he's going to tivo now, with angel and buffy finally dying.
: ) sorry, O.

In other news, i was trying to work my charm on this guy at the bar the other night and another guy came up and started talking to me and farted in my personal space. he lingered for awhile and finally left, making me look like the farter. damn farting jackass...what do you do in a situation like that?

moving on to the dreams, and then i'm done. last night i actually don't remember a lot of them...but i do remember walking around an amusement park with sheila and looking at attractions. they were building an egyptian one with lots of bridges over us that were really skinny and sorta dangerous, like in an indiana jones movie. and then i was in the middle of jessica simpson and nick whatever's world and she was going to be in a new disney cartoon. she was dressed up as a snake and was painted green and was part of the attraction we were all at. she was trying to swerve her head like a snake and kept fucking up.
then we were in a nursery in their mansion and she sent nick some wall paper border with a cartoon scene with her in it. what a self-centered bitch!

so i am predicting they are going to get pregnant and have a demon child.

the only dream from the other night that i remember and forgot to post is that i was in a city for another celebration and my dad was there. and all of a sudden milwaukee and washington dc merged, because there were landmarks from both in the same city. it was deja vu all over again too, because i remember dreaming about the same type of thing, with the same scenery, etc. i'd pass when walking that doesn't really exist. there were a lot of promotions going on too and instead of miller lite, there was budweiser everywhere!

that's it. i am off to shower and try to find work...

blogs galore!

well, it's happened...work has officially screwed up my sleeping schedule. i used to sleep the day away and now i wake up at normal hours on the weekends when i should be sleeping until 2 or 3 in the afternoon...i am a little ashamed that my body is taking to a normal routine. i get tired around 2 or 3 am now, instead of 4 or 5 in the morning...i'm not good with change.
i have been waking up a bunch of times in my sleep, however, which means i have more dreams to ramble about.

most of the dreams last night were about my family. it was weird because there would be certain objects in the dream that belong to my family or me in the past, but all the settings were new.

in the first dream i remember, i was trying to drive home (virginia) from some unknown location, i can only assume it's wisconsin. i was with my father, stepmom, and brothers and at one point i was leaving home and at another they were in my tiny mitsubishi eclipse with me. i remember i never drove that far alone before and didn't have a map, but all of a sudden i saw a sign for I95 and i got all excited because i had to be going the right way. then the road stopped and there were mud hills everywhere and what appeared to be a road carved out of mud and a pretty big dropoff. i tried to drive on the curved mud "road" but fell off part of the way. my father yelled at me and i told him the road disappeared, there was nothing i could do about it. the car behind me was pissed cause he couldn't get around and he kept beeping. then all of a sudden this plow that was moving dirt came up to us and plowed me back on the dirt road. i was all excited, but then my car wouldn't turn, the wheel was stuck. i told my dad and he explained that my car wouldn't turn because the tow truck pushed me by my wheel and messed up the axle...he told me to remember when i was in my car accident and my car wouldn't move afterwards so i couldn't move it off the street, and that this was the same thing, essentially.

so we were screwed and i was so upset because my car was pretty much dead. the only other part of the dream i remember is sleeping over at my father's house again, but it was a different house than the one i went to growing up. i remember sleeping on the tiniest bed alive (which i had when i visited) and that's it.

next dream, i remember shopping in the mall for my "boyfriend." i remember smelling colognes, etc. it was weird. then i am at the house with my family where i grew up. i remember feeling so happy being with everyone. then all of a sudden doug and jenna had a riff with my parents and they decided they weren't going to celebrate christmas with them. so i am in a different house with my brother and sister and i am trying to be a mediater and get them to hang out together, but doug was pretty adament about staying on his own. and i remember the tree didn't have any ornaments on it, but there were a ton of presents. i wrapped one for jenna and it had bubble wrap all over it...i thought it was the coolest thing, but she didn't really care. there were bums hanging out there too, because doug invited anyone to come over. then all of a sudden mom and dad and the dogs come over. no one is fighting at all and the living room all of a sudden changes. i remember i couldn't breathe normally and was sniffing a lot. one of our dogs was still a puppy and was really tiny so my dad kept yelling that we needed to be careful of him. one of my toys was a gun that shot out little foam discs and i started shooting them off and the pup got all excited, but couldn't get any of the discs. it was weird, my mom didn't say a word the whole time. i woke up from that one and couldn't breathe, my nose was all stuffed.

the dream before that my mom and i were hanging out in my bedroom. i was getting ready in the bathroom and all of a sudden there was an extra floor mat and seat cover that didn't match my bathroom. i told her to give it to doug, since his bathroom was probably empty. although the mats were totally girly. they were a weird teal with pink palm trees on it. i came out of the bathroom and my mom was in her bathrobe lying on the floor doing a crossword puzzle. there were candles all around the book and the wax was melting into the carpet. i freaked out and moved the candles.

that's all i really remember...
last night's from thursday were insane. i'll sumarize since i don't remember all of them and this is a long ass blog...
my brother and i were trying to impress my father. we were in minnesota where we used to go in the summers and were hanging out at the lake we went to as kids. there were a bunch of outdoor pizza restaurants and people were making the pizzas on the ground. my brother tried too and had all these crusts all over like a little assembly line. he messed up from there. he put the cheese on first and then the sauce, etc. so i tried to help him.

then we were all hanging out on the dock on our lake...and my brother was making a sandwhich for my father, but again he messed it up. he would smash the bread when he was done making the sandwhich, so it looked like ass. we were getting ready for the superbowl. all of a sudden we were in a car on the dock and this big projection screen came out of the sky and we watched the game while on the dock...it was really odd.

then i was on a beach at another lake and everyone was running away from the water. it got really dark and started to rain and i had to rescue all of my stuff which was sitting at the bottom of the lake apparently. my phone, and some clothes, etc were all in the lake. people told me i was crazy to go in the water, but i went and got all my stuff and hightailed it out of there.

i am not google worthy

so, my sister had a good birthday as did v, at least it looked that way as i left the bar...
first topic of the night...i talked to my sister today and she had to work on her birthday. she turned 18 today and just got a job at a tanning salon. she better not start fake baking at the place...our family already looks weird, but we are fair skinned and were not meant to be orange. She has to clean up after all the prisses who are tanning and that makes me mad. I have had a lot of shit jobs since i turned 15, but i take it personally whenever my sister gets stuck doing a crap job for no money. i told her she needed to quit her baby sitting job when she only made $5 an hour and had to clean the kid's diapers...that's a shitload of money compared to what i made...but still, that's nothing for what she's doing for those people.
i told her to quit her old navy job based on the premise that she worked at old navy. i would go insane. although it was kind of cute seeing a 4'11'' tiny girl (my sister) walking around with a headset directing traffic and folding clothes.
she got paid jack to wait tables at baker's square (where she still works). this is a tiny bit more "upscale" than an IHOP...in wisconsin...where all the clientele is either too poor or too young to go to an establishment that serves liquor. based on the fact that you have old loosers with no cash and kids who spend hours drinking coffee and making messes, it's a worthless place to make money.
and now she is going to wipe down sweaty tanning booths for orange blonde freaks from wisconsin??? she's following in my footsteps of having gay jobs...

last night i dreamed that my friends were made of cheese. don't know what kind of cheese, but it was quite weird.
before i dreamed of cheese, i googled myself. i put my full name and also "joy's world." i am not on google, unless i am page 25 or over...but joy is a popular name for sluts...quite interesting. and joy's world is used so frequently i am thinking i need to change the name of my site. so...whoever reads this, if they can think of anything better, actually comment this time.

speaking of comments and web traffic on my spectacular site...i installed a web counter and am up to 37 people visiting my site! although...it's probably mainly from me checking to see if it's up and running...i'll take the number. that's pretty good. and the average length of time spent on the site is about 1 minute. given the length of my posts...they probably start reading and give up after 1 or 2 paragraphs. or are scanning for porn and don't see any and give up.

time to go, i have to bump up my visitors to about 50 or so and then go to bed, i am actually going to work early tomarrow...on the bright side of that, i'll have more time to visit my blog and increase the traffic flow.

technically this is about tuesday

i work up this morning to a really disturbing dream that o and i were mermaids.
i told him the dream today and he made a point of telling me that he was a merMAN...but it was my dream and he was a mermaid. we were trying to stay underwater and away from some evil lady. it was really weird because i remember struggling to breath, but if i was a mermaid, breathing underwater really wouldn't be a problem. ? it was weird, but made perfect sense at the time. i also remember sheila was in one of my dreams, but can't remember what it was about.

it was Christmas in another one. both sides of my family were together, which was weird since my parents split when i was 3...and they have never been in the same social setting since unless they are on complete opposite sides of whatever room, building, yard, football field, etc...anyway, in addition to that phenomena, we were celebrating with my stepmom's side of the family and i haven't seen them much in the past 6 years since i moved to the east coast. the boys were grown up in the dream, but were still acting like little kids. we were all playing on someone's living room floor and it felt very strange to be hanging out playing like we were 5 years old.

then i was in someone else's house, but it had a familiar feel to it, like it was mine, or someone close to me. i was snooping through stuff in the bathroom. it was so intriguing to me. it turns out it was my cousin's (on my mom's side of the family) stuff. we used to hang out all the time and sleep over at each other's houses after major holidays or birthday parties, so we were really close growing up...i thought their stuff was so cool. i woke up and remember wondering why my cousin used that smell of deodorant and that i wished i had some that was that cool.
i think i need help.

with all the dream crap aside, i got my business cards today! i officially feel like a grownup. i think i am going to go to work tomarrow and put together a media kid (with my business card enclosed) and send it to my parents. =)
Maybe they'll stick my card on their fridge.
I actually gave out my card to two people today, four counting o and sheila... i don't think they gave a shit, but i am pretty happy about it.

it's my sister's birthday tomarrow and also one of my best friend's. i'll drink to them both. more on that tomarrow.

arggg

dreaming is hard to do when you only have 3 hours to sleep before you wake up to go to work and keep looking at the alarm clock. i am now awake and ready to make "funny money" at my day job and am still seeing the red of my alarm clock. i hope today goes by fast so i can nap. i don't think God made me to work, at least not during the day. i need to find a sugar daddy to support me. i do the sleep thing backwards...i finally get tired when i wake up. i think i am starting to relive high school, what with my new job in the mall and the urge/need to start popping vivarin again.
there may be a bright side to this...i may meet an older guy and start having sex in cars again...who knows where this new life may lead me!

crazy

i had some weird ones...
the first one i remember was in this huge house with an insane spiral staircase. there were so many weird characters in it that were supposed to be my family and my friend's family. the friend remained invisible through the part of the dream i remember. we were running around the house, usually on the staircase, like we were trying to escape people, i assume it was the adults. running on the stairs is dangerous apparently, because two of the guys fell down the stairs and died. now what to do? one of the girls running around was the chick in ghostworld, which was weird. all of a sudden we were in the basement, which was an odd mausoleum. the women were cutting the heads off the dead bodies. they burned the bodies and kept the heads...that's all i really remember.

then i had a little bit of the dream where members of my family were all together in this tiny, strange kitchen. it was up to me to find them something to eat. everything was expired or just weird...i remember weird juices and old Easter chocolate. my grandfather was in the dream, my brothers and sister, one of my older cousins on my dad's side of the family, which is a weird mix...it was odd to say the least.

then i was in this school where all the kids were young ( i assume it was grade school or middle school) and everyone was black. i don't know if my friend and i were invisible or accepted, because we were the only people there that weren't black. we are in a gymnasium and the kids are going nuts. there's a talent show going on and all the performers are adults. the group that is performing is making the crowd insane and the pathetic band practicing was in for a surprise because i remember i was panicking about the outcome. there was this huge guy in dreads playing the drums and he looked insane, then i look down and there's this sick looking white guy in a wheelchair with drum sticks in his hands. i don't see any instrument in front of him. i look into the crowd and fear for this dude's safety. then i see all the kids throwing stuff and picking on this one row of white ladies with bandanas on their heads. they looked like undercover nuns and were all freaked out; some were crying. they eventually ran out. my friend told me the guy on stage getting ready to "play" had cancer. this was a completely random fact and i don't know if it was mentioned because we were at a benefit concert, or what, but the kids were ruthless. i mentioned that we were not welcome and should high tail it out of there.

all of a sudden we are outside in a post apocalyptic looking desert. there are military men everywhere and the school we just left was a deserted city. we ran into another bad situation, because most of the military men looked severely pissed off and were looking for another group of military men who set one area of their makeshift camp on fire. the fire was still going on and the men were no where to be found. the leader told us to take the kids and go back to the deserted city, which was the last thing i wanted to do...but there was gunfire and chaos and a shitload of military men started grabbing kids and us and we ran back to the racist bastards.

then i woke up and was curling my hair in bed while reading magazines. i was buried under my covers like it was a makeshift tent. i was looking at anything within armlength of my bed so i wouldn't have to get out. most of the mags were style mags and they were weird with coupons for odd makeup products. i remember looking at them, but they were 2 years old...

and then my cell phone rang and woke up from my "stay in bed and avoid all movement" dream. i wasted the morning and half of the afternoon, so i am going to get ready and get some pho ; )

last night was awesome

i had a lot of cool dreams last night and i woke up earlier than normal, which is weird (12:30).
in one of them, i was in the old family van with my sister, and my mom and dad. we were going on a trip to get parts for a car, which turned out to be my explorer. and we were towing a trailer! haha. i hate camping, but apparently that's what we were in the process of doing. i remember i had to rearrange some stuff in the back seat and i was so proud of myself when i was done. i moved the cooler and some other stuff so the sun wouldn't get it, etc. i was so pleased with my efforts i asked dad to take a look. so he gets out of the driver's seat (i think we were still driving too) and he said it looked good, and we could watch tv while he was gone since we did a good job.

next phase, all of a sudden dad's gone to get a part and we are in the middle of hicksville. mom is in the front seat and my sister and i are in the back. then we see this weird lady trying to get into this tiny convenience store. and all around us are hispanic day laborers...we were in the ghetto of whatever town we were in. i teleported myself into the store with my mom and sister and we are looking around and everything was pretty much looted. it was like we were watching a news story or i could see the past too, because i was able to see that the lady was trying to get food cause she was starving, but the store kept giving her spoiled food that the bees were getting into...and the lady kept saying that the bees were sick and smelled funny. i asked mom if we should give the lady some food. she said no.

so we went outside. and i was going to go back to the car, but there was this hispanic guy leaning on our trailer! fucker! and he was on his phone, right by our door and i freaked out. i told mom and my sister to get into the car and i was going to go in the trailer. so, i went into the trailer and my dog, Chip, was there! how cool. so we hung out in the trailer and i locked the door so the dude couldn't get in.

all of a sudden there was banging at the door, and my sister was there trying to get in, yelling at me to get my attention. she was completely different than real life, she was older, blonde, and was wearing a skanky outfit =), but it was her just the same. she was freaking out and was holding out her hands to me, telling me to smell her because that was what sick bees smelled like. ???
so Chip, my sister, and i went back to my mom and got in the car. the day laborer gave me a dirty look as he walked away from the trailer.

we called my dad and told him to come back because we were in a freaky ghetto with weird people and sick smelly bees.

all of a sudden we see this huge ghetto cemetery, right next to us on the other side of the street. it's blocked by a big ghetto chain fence. and there are groups of mexicans riding over graves down the huge hill on makeshift sleds with wheels. and all of a sudden our family (with our dog) is one of the groups on the sleds....it was so weird. and that is all i remember.

my consensus of the dream: there were killer bees in the ghetto town. maybe the only people that were immune to the smelly killer bees were the mexicans...because they were really the only people there. the lady in the store was sick because the bees were getting her and she was eating food tainted by the bees...and the huge ghetto grave yard took up half the town...i smell an awesome plot for a new horror movie. Killer Smelly Bees no?

alright, a break in the whole dream sequence thing. i am IMing my sister, which is a rare occurence since she has a life. and i told her that i dreamed about her last night and would give her my site address when i am done typing and her response, "geeze joy, you're a nerd." i promptly told her to fuck off and then said that blogging is...normal. and she retorted, " loser. send me the link when you're done. im gonna watch tv."
she's just jealous.

my other dream was really detailed too, but i'll save anyone that is reading this the horror of reading through another long dream sequence: i was running away from something and was into aliases. i kept changing my look to get away and was in a seedy motel for most of the dream. it was really long and try as i might i couldn't escape this weird guy that was chasing me. but at least he didn't smell and wasn't a sick bee.

i'm out.

dreams again

the dreams are back...

i dreamed that i was having dinner with some friends at a weird asian restaurant. we were there because one of the guys i was with was interested in the waitress. she sucked. i asked for pho (noodle soup) and was given a tiny pile of noodles instead. i asked her wear the soup was...and she walked away. i asked her when she came back and she said it wasn't on the menu. hmmm...then i asked for hoison sauce and was given a container of sour cream instead. so we were pretty pissed.

that part of the meal segued to one of the girls behind the counter. she was giving an interview (it was like i was behind the scenes for a tv interview) and was spinning (riding a stationary bike) on the beach. it turned out to be a girl i didn't like in high school. so it was weird. the interview implied that the girl in high school i knew was a big success.

the next one was a rich woman who lived in a huge house, but was in rehab because she took too many drugs. she was learning how to read in the dream and the chick turned out to be ally sheedy...from the breakfast club...heh.

so all the girls in the dream were aparently picked to run the asian restaurant for a new tv show and that's probably why the blond chick didn't know about anything on the menu...add in a washup that can't read and you have yourself a knockout show.

next...i was flying. i was out with my father in this dream, but other people there were friends and stuff, it was kind of confusing. so we were back at the lake we used to go to in the summer, but it was way more glamorous and really pretty. it was a completely different lake/area. we were water skiing, but ended up flying. hah, it was totally weird. but really cool. and i don't remember the rest, except we started and landed in water and it freaked me out when i woke up.

there were more, but i only remember fragments. i was at home again and my sister was with me, we were living in a totally different house and had roommates, but were hanging out without them. it was dark, and there were candles lit in rooms that were empty, which freaked me out (someone else was in the house)...dun dun dun...

and in another one, one of my roommates was perry ferrell, or a guy just like him. he was in some kind of trouble and was moving out and i didn't want him to leave. that and some of the other people there were guys i went to high school with.

all of last night's dreams had old friends and people i don't see much anymore...it was pretty cool.

shit stains

o put dog shit on my jeans yesterday. and then he sniffled and sheila stood up for him because he was sick. but that doesn't take away from the fact that he took his foot and rubbed shit on me. this is not southpark. you may be hallucinating due to your impaired health, but we live in arlington and we were not painting walls with cartman. dammit. just wait till i find a nice cozy place to stash some dog crap. : )
oh and i retract the comment made yesterday in which i stated that i was upset that someone stole my internet connection...which wasn't really mine to begin with. that certain somebody gave me back the wonder of the world wide web and things are swell.

i worked so hard at work today and only spent roughly $16 to do it. i can't wait till i get paid.

so, here is my dilema. i sleep the same amount that i used to, but i can't remember the dreams because i can't lounge and "re-sleep" anymore now that i have a job. Resleeping is falling back to sleep because i have nothing else to do, like work and such. so i have no dreams to reveal.

"about last night"

last night i saw a bunch of friends from different circles, which is really cool. after hanging out i got a call from one of my roommates cause they needed a jump. turns out aaa stood him up and i had jumper cables and set out on my journey to help him. long story short, we could have died, because we were jumping the batt in the dark without any light source except my headlights, which couldn't face his car based on how it was parked. through trial and error, nothing worked...and then i drove to cvs and bought a flashlight. we rejumped and gave his car newfound life. it only took about an hour in the freezing cold. so...i learned that trial and error doesn't always work...and always have a flashlight in your car.

i'm going to go write my book now, so adios.

it's been so long!

someone (not mentioning names, but it's one of the 3 of you that actually read this site...) took back the internet connection from my room...and now all i have is a 10 year old lap top to use as dumb bells...and i haven't been able to update.
so much has happened!

1) i had my first day at work in a long time...and it was in an office. i felt like it was my first day of school. so..what happened to me at work.
**yours truly made the mistake of ordering a large sumatra from starbucks before working and had to pee like a race horse, or has sheila likes to call it, "tinkle." i had to "tinkle" real bad. but i felt like i was in school and couldn't ask to go...do you ask when it's the first day and you don't know who your boss is because the office is ultra casual? is there a big wooden pass? i finally got to go after 5 hours. wow. i was so happy when i finally took the tour and realized there was an office bathroom 20 feet from my desk. (it was in the back and through a weird looking closet, so i didn't miss a huge door marked "bathroom" or anything)

ok...so i wanted to leave so bad...i felt so accomplished, but so ready to go home. AND i left the office and it was daylight out. just last week i was waking up around this time...so i think i am moving up in the world.

with all the positive things mentioned, let me go ahead and say that the office is in a mall...and with my beginner's salary i feel like i am back in high school! i am amidst kids, and drop outs, and mall walkers in their suits and tennies...i am sure glad i finished college.
but i can't wait to learn and climb that corporate ladder and succeed.

ok..moving on. i fogot my money and my atm password...because i usually had cash on hand, when i actually worked behind the bar that is, so...i need money to get out of the mall. and it was 7 bucks...and i had dos dollares. i found a whopping 5 bucks in change in my car and finally made it out. but i think i severely pissed off the parking lady. but it's not like she has anything else to do but count money...

and with that said, it was my first day. counting the coffee...i spent about $9 to work my first day.